060 - Trusting God Through Life's Twists and Turns (with Meghan Dougherty)
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SHOW NOTES:
How much change can you handle in a matter of a few months? Getting married, getting pregnant, moving houses, getting locked down for Covid…what a whirlwind of change Meghan and her husband experienced all in a matter of a few months! Add nausea and extreme fatigue due to anemia of pregnancy onto that and it’s sure to throw anybody for a loop. Also, did you ever think that epidurals could work “too” well? Did you know they could have side effects that last beyond labor and birth? All of this and more as Meghan shares her stories with us today, and how she had to learn to tell God her specific desires and then trust Him with what He deemed best in His love and care for her and her family.
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TRANSCRIPT:
(Meghan) It was so fast. I went from like, thinking I was stomach sick, and then not even two hours later, holding my baby. And I'm like, what just happened? Wow. You got your, you got your fast daytime, no epidural labor. Yeah.
(Kayla) I'm Kayla Heeter, follower of Jesus, wife and mother of five children. Christian childbirth educator and doula and your host of the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, where we share God centered birth stories, evidence based birth education, and our pursuit of surrendering our birth plans to God. Let's get started.
Hi, everyone. Hope your week is off to a great start. I'm actually recording this intro a little bit early because we have a big weekend planned and we [00:01:00] are celebrating our baby's first birthday. Indiana is turning one. Actually, he already turned one. But we are celebrating it, um, this weekend and I'm excited.
Friends and family coming to town, all the grandparents, you know, we'll do the cake smashing and it's going to be great. We're doing like a, a breakfast bar and a coffee bar and giving him like a pumpkin muffin cake. So we have figured out he's allergic to dairy and eggs, unfortunately. Hopefully he grows out of them, but I'm excited to see him smash his pumpkin muffin cake that I'm going to make him.
So we are getting ready for that. So I'm recording this a little bit early because I've got a big to do list to get ready for that party, but he's really sweet, you know, gosh, one year olds, man. That is such a milestone. He's crawling. He's waving. He's clapping. [00:02:00] He's also teething, which is not so great. And biting me specifically while he's trying to eat.
So, but we love him. He's just so sweet. And his siblings all still absolutely adore him and are completely obsessed with him here a year later, as we all are. So, So happy birthday, Indiana. You are loved. Okay. Haven't talked to you about this in a little bit, but reviews, you guys, when you leave reviews, not only does it encourage me personally to like keep going and that this is making a difference, but I feel like it does for other people as well.
And when you leave a written review, It makes this podcast more visible to other people. So it'll like pop up on their recommended shows. And a lot of times people just don't know, you know, that this podcast exists. So it means a lot for us. If you leave a review, it means a lot for us. If you share this podcast with somebody, especially if you [00:03:00] enjoyed a particular episode, just go ahead and send it to your friend or somebody, you know, who, who might benefit from it.
But I'm going to go ahead and read a review cause I haven't done that in a little bit. This is from Victoria. She says, Jesus at the center. I have listened to many birth podcasts over the years while prepping for my own. I also consume it when I'm not pregnant. I'm kind of a birth connoisseur, you could say.
Out of all the different ones, Surrendered Birth Stories is my favorite. The vulnerability of Kayla and her guests is felt and appreciated. No matter how joyful or difficult the story, it always gets pointed back to God. Something that isn't often done in our culture. Highest praises for the bravery and heart it takes to share this content with the world.
Thank you, Victoria. Thank you for leaving that review. Those words mean so much and truly are motivating, you know, for my husband [00:04:00] and I to keep doing this. Week in and week out. Also, I wanted to note that our November birth class, um, still has a few spots open that we would love to fill up. So if you or somebody you know is local ish to the triad of North Carolina, and you're having a baby or they're having a baby in, let's say, maybe end of December, January, February, March, please send them our way.
We would love to have them join us. Our November birth class. And if you just want to reach out to me, infos in the show notes, you can send me a message on Instagram or send me an email through the website, however you want to do it. Just let me know. We would love, love, love to have you in our class. We still have a couple of spots open that we would love to fill.
Okay. Now for this week's episode, how much change can you handle in a matter of a few months? Getting married, getting pregnant. Moving [00:05:00] houses, getting locked down for COVID. What a whirlwind of change Megan and her husband experienced all in a matter of a few months. Add nausea and extreme fatigue due to anemia of pregnancy onto that, and it's sure to throw anybody for a loop.
Also, did you ever think that epidurals could work too well? Did you know they could have side effects that last beyond labor and birth? All of this and more as Megan shares her stories with us today and how she had to learn to tell God her specific desires and then trust Him with what He deemed best in His love and care for her and her family.
Welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories. I am your host Kayla Heder. And I have Megan with me today. And that's fun. Megan is my sister's name. [00:06:00] Spelled differently. No H, but still very familiar. Um, why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself? Tell us about you and your life and give us just a glimpse into what your life is like.
Are we ready? Yeah. So my name is Megan Doherty. I am a stay at home mom of two. I have a four year old little girl. She just turned four in July and then I have a two year old little boy who just turned two in August. So very close birthdays. I'm a wife and I love baking bread and I play a little bit of piano.
And my little four year old's like been really, really interested in me teaching her piano lately. So. We are very involved in our church, um, I play piano a lot for our church, and me and my husband got married in 2019, and we got married in October, and on Thanksgiving day I found out that I was pregnant with our first.[00:07:00]
Wow! Yeah, we were like kind of shocked. We weren't expecting to have kids like that soon. Um, so we were like, okay, this is a really big change in plans. We were expecting to kind of wait like maybe a year, like half a year was like our minimum kind of thing that we were thinking about. But, um, yeah, I ended up.
feeling like really nauseous there for a little while and I was like, okay, just something is not right. So I ended up taking a test and sure enough, it was a bright two lines. The first, first time I took it and my husband, like, he was leaning on the doorframe like, okay, okay, we're parents, like, we signed up for it, we're gonna go.
Was it something you two were actively trying to prevent? Um, no, we were just kind of like, we were willing, like in receptive of [00:08:00] whatever, you know, the Lord had for us, we just kind of had like a mindset, like, if we really wanted to, like, we can wait, you know, like six months to a year or whatever, like, it probably would have been the smartest financially, you know, newly married young people.
And, uh, but we were like, at the same time, like, we're not against it. Like I was already going. To be a stay at home mom anyways, like I was gonna stay at home. So just like give me something to do, you know? Well, you definitely have something to do then. Oh, yes for sure. So then as you know, March of 2020 hit and we were married for like four months and then COVID happened and we were like quarantined, locked in.
Okay, like dealing with all the nausea and all of that stuff was great. Like we had one vehicle, I couldn't go anywhere. So I was like locked in this little house, you know, like this little dark dungeon, sick of the dog. And I moved away from [00:09:00] like two hours away from my family. His family is like five hours away.
And I was like, what am I doing? Were you like throwing up constantly and stuff or? I never once threw up with either of my pregnancies, but I constantly felt like I had to, like I even tried to force myself and I could not, that's almost worse to me, like I'd just rather get like the 10 seconds of relief afterwards.
The 10 second relief? Right. But, um, I ended up finding out later on, like I didn't know at the time, but, We scheduled appointments, you know, obviously with my OB and everything and um, baby was doing great. We were super excited and I found out later on, like at the end of pregnancy, I was anemic the whole time and I don't know why that never really came up.
Like, I was really confused for a while because I was like, why am I just so exhausted? Like, I understand growing [00:10:00] a whole baby. It's exhausting, but like this was next level. Like I would sleep until nine o'clock and be done for the day by like 11 or 12. And I was like, I cannot function. So thankfully, I guess it wasn't as bad for them to be like super concerned to where they were like, you know, this could be, you know, really hazardous when you have a baby, you know, but, um, It really took a toll.
So I was super sick, like, you know, just super tired, the whole pregnancy. And, um, On July 31st, we ended up having our first little girl, Scarlett, and I went in the hospital. Her labor was really odd. Like, I just felt like I was getting sick all day. Like, I woke up that morning and I was like, something's off.
I told my husband, I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't know if I'm getting sick or whatnot. Um, I was 39 weeks. [00:11:00] Seeing as how it was, you know, your first pregnancy and it was Unexpected, but welcomed, and you know, and you were sick throughout the whole time and everything and you were seeing an OB. Did you have any idea of like what you were going into, like what you were getting ready to go through, like with labor and birth and postpartum?
Read any books or taken any classes or did you have any kind of plan or what was like What was the getting ready period like I just wanted to like say that real quick before we jump into your birth story to see If you know right like what the setup was So no, I was absolutely clueless. Like I, I never had one doctor, like the same doctor the whole time.
I had somebody different every single time that I went in for an appointment. And so at that point it was like, you know, like, I don't know. It was just so weird. Like 2020 when I went in for all [00:12:00] my OB appointments. Everybody was extremely paranoid, you know, like really standoffish. It's like, basically we want to get this appointment done over with, make sure you're good and you're healthy and like send you right on out because we don't want anybody in here longer than they need to be, it wasn't ever personal, like with anyone and like, I, I definitely had no idea what I was really getting myself into.
I had no preparation goals. I was just like, well. Firstborn, I guess we'll just see how this goes and like make decisions as we go along. And my husband was just like, all right, well, you know, I'm here for you, whatever you need, you know, I'll stand up for you on whatever. So we just went into it, like knowing nothing and looking back now, like I totally wish I was way more prepared.
It was crazy, but I mean, I couldn't even have, thankfully at the moment, I was able to have my husband go in like when I [00:13:00] actually had her, but there for a while, the hospital was so strict that they were even talking about not letting your plus one or you like your spouse go in with you to labor. And that was scary.
I already don't really know what I'm doing. And if my husband can't even go in with me, that was like really terrifying. So 2020 was like the craziest year. And I mean, I know it was craziest year for everybody, but being pregnant on top of just getting married too. Yeah, that is like a lot of change all at once.
Marriage, pregnancy, COVID, life. That's a lot. Oh, yeah, it was a lot. And, you know, obviously, just going through all the changes all at once, I guess, was probably also a very good excuse for not being able to be as prepared as I wanted to be, um, we were just so busy, you know, like, just trying to prepare for [00:14:00] everything that had, you know, already taken place, you know, like getting everything.
Established after being married, you know, and moving into this new house and just, you know, all kinds of stuff. So we were like, well, it happened so fast. Were you working in any capacity like during that pregnancy at all? No, my husband and I had talked about it. But after I was just, you know, really nauseous and like super, super fatigued, I would just I was like, there's no way I could stand up for over four hours.
Yeah. And work the job. Like, I would be fired on the spot. Yeah. So, we're walking into this labor. I don't want, I don't want to say naive, but maybe just. Oh, yeah. Okay. Naive. Um, and, so, what does it go like then? How does it start? And when does it start in all the goods? Um, All right, so that morning on the 31st of July, I was, let's see, [00:15:00] 39, no, 38 and 6 on that day.
So I woke up one morning and I just told my husband, I was like, I feel really off. I feel sick. I really hope that I'm not getting something or getting, you know. Rona, right before I'm about to go into labor soon, like that would really stink. So he was like, all right, well, you know, he was like, I've got some extra time off work.
I'll take the day off and we'll just make sure to, you know, make sure this isn't early labor or whatever. So I went through the day and, uh, took a nap and like when I got up at like, I think it was four o'clock, I was like, okay, I think I'm feeling a little better. And as soon as I stood up off the bed, a contraction hit and I was like, Okay, I'm thinking this might be something and so it was really slow.
Um, I honestly do not have all my time to contractions from that one, but we were timing it and I believe it was [00:16:00] like 15 minutes apart and 20 minutes and it was just like, you know, very sporadic, you know, really tolerable. So I was like, okay, well. We're going to be laboring for quite a while. So I told him, I said, I don't want to labor in the hospital any longer than I have to.
So let's just stay home. And you know, when it gets to where it's like, ouch, this is actually hurting, we'll go in. Cause we only live like 20 minutes away from the hospital. So he was like, all right. And that evening we ended up, uh, I told him, I said, okay, everybody that I know tells me. Eat before you go in, because if you have any kind of drugs, you cannot eat.
So I was going to eat and make sure I had a food before I went into labor. So we ended up cooking a little bit. I was just, I couldn't really eat very much. So he's like, well, I'm going to make sure everything's loaded up in the car. We've got everything we need. And then I'm going to go take a shower. And then we'll see how [00:17:00] you feel.
And he gets like halfway done in his shower and I'm like banging on the door. Like, Hey, I gotta go. These are hurting. Like these picked up real quick. I got too comfortable and they're like coming faster and a lot more intense. He's like, all right, I'm hopping out. Let's go. So we went in and. It was probably 1130, close to midnight by the time we got in, I was actually really expecting the hospital to be more of, you know, like buzzing when I went through there and everything and there was like, yeah, I was like, not at night.
This is nice. So we went upstairs and they, you know, they were like, all right, we'll get you comfortable. Set me up in triage. You know, how triage, how long it takes to go through triage. So I'm just sitting there and kind of chilling, kind of like, okay, just riding the contractions as they come. And I would say two o'clock that morning, um, I [00:18:00] ended up finally getting an epidural because just things were not progressing very, you know, like very fast.
Wait, in triage? Or? Oh, they finally put me in labor. Oh, okay. They got you up into the room. Okay, okay, okay. I was like, wait a second. I've never heard of that. No, they finally got me into a room and we just kind of like chilled there for like a really long time. Yeah. And so, um, they finally, like, my contractions were getting closer together and finally I asked for an epidural because they were like, well, you're still not dilated like we want you to be and, you know, How dilated were you?
I mean, enough to let you in, I guess. Yeah, I want to say I was like six, almost seven. Oh, that's really decently far along, like, especially for how early you were and how long your labor had been going on. Not that long. I mean, for a first labor. Oh yeah, for sure. And now, like, looking back, I know that, but like, then I was like, like you said, naive [00:19:00] and I did not know.
You probably felt like, this is taking forever. Yeah, I was like, okay, if I'm going to be in this much pain for like five more hours, I'm done. I'm calling it quits. Right. So, I was like, all right, you know what, everybody tells me like my mom had epidurals with like all of Us when we were, you know, when she was having us other than one And uh, she was like it's like the greatest thing ever.
So I was like, all right, let's just try it out that was like my worst mistake ever because The healing process was it was rough the healing process of the epidural Yes, that was That was really rough. I don't know if my body just like took differently to it or like what had happened, but It worked too good and I ended up not feeling, which I mean, it was great at the time.
I ended up not feeling anything at all, but when I actually needed to push, [00:20:00] I couldn't feel any contraction, couldn't feel any pressure. So I literally did not know what I was doing. Like they were like, all right, next contraction you push. And I'm like, I don't know. Like I'm literally, you could cut my bottom half off and I would not know.
Feel it. Yeah. Took two good. So, um, I tried to get some rest that night and then the next morning, um, like probably around nine o'clock, they came in and checked me and they're like, all right, girl, you're good to go. Let's, you know, start pushing. And so I pushed for like 20 minutes. By literally looking on the monitor to see when to push.
Yeah. And so, um, I only pushed for like 20 minutes and then she was born. And I mean, it was pretty, I guess you could say pretty uncomplicated. Like everything just kind of took its time and, you know, just kind of a smoothly going through. And, um, she was born at 9 21 that next [00:21:00] morning. And she was like seven pounds, so she was like super tiny for me.
Like I was not expecting to have that small of a baby. Yeah. And we were really, really happy and like excited. And I was like, all right, this is going to be great. And then nursing went pretty good considering, like, first time, I mean, like, she watched great, she nursed great, like, everything was looking really good.
And then I was trying to be released and then trying to stand up, like, half my leg was still numb and I could hardly walk. Wait, like, released to go home? Yes. So this is, like, two days later? Yes. And you still couldn't feel your leg? Yeah, half my leg was still numb, like the upper, yeah, like my thigh was still really numb.
So I was like, all right, I figured it would just kind of like, you know, wear off pretty quickly. [00:22:00] But they were like, we really need to monitor this a little bit longer. So I was like, all right. I think for like two and a half days, they wanted to keep me that extra night. And, um, finally it wore off pretty decently.
And I felt like a little old woman trying to get out of bed and do things. I'm like, Oh my goodness. Like I can't do anything for myself. And, uh, we finally were able to go home and. I mean, she nursed really great for, you know, going home. And if she was pretty good baby, she did have a little bit of jaundice that they kind of kept an eye on.
Um, but that was, it was really, really mild and then just healing like postpartum. was so rough. My back killed me. My hips killed me. Like, you know, like I've heard a lot of people say that when they get an epidural, they have like that twinge when you go to sit down and stand up. And I literally had [00:23:00] that for a year.
After I had her. And it was just like the first three months, I remember like not hardly getting any sleep, obviously sleep deprived mom. And after like the, I think probably two or three weeks, she was born. She started spinning up, like, really, really badly, and I would nurse her for, like, 45 minutes to an hour, and she'd throw everything back up and just scream and cry, and I told my husband, This cannot be it.
This cannot be motherhood. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I need help. Something's wrong. Yeah. Yeah. When she sped up, was she, like, Upset and crying or was it just like she was fine and it just came back up? Okay, so she was like irritated when she was spitting up. Yeah, she like cried all the time and I was like, I don't know what's going on here.
So we ended up figuring out she's a [00:24:00] very colicky baby, had very bad acid reflux and that was pretty much the doctor's like insinuation, like she's got acid reflux. Just try to burp her like this. Just try to like feed her this way or feed her that way and I'm like, No matter what I'm doing, it is not working.
So yeah, I ended up having to supplement with her a little bit after she turned three months old, because I was like, I can't keep up anymore. I was literally nursing her for like an hour and a half sometimes. And she would spit everything back up and just cry again. Cause she was hungry, you know? So probably after three to four months, when we finally started like supplementing her, probably after about four months.
Oh, night and day. She changed. She was such a happy baby. And I'm like, all right, we can do this. This is a little bit better. And when she started sleeping better, because she was full, then I was actually able to start healing. But those [00:25:00] first, like, three months, especially, I felt horrible. I felt like I was limited to do, like, absolutely everything.
My husband and I both agreed, we were like, we've got, like, we've got to change something whenever we have another kid, like, I can't do this. I told him, I said, I can't do the hip problems, the back problems, like, I can't do another epidural. We've got to change something up when we decide to have another kid because I can't heal.
This way with also having more kids. Yeah, right. And with more to do. Do you think so? Did you guys figure out if it was something in your milk that she was allergic to that was upsetting her so much? I did narrow down a couple things that like I would eat and then it would make her, you know, throw up a little bit more.
And so I started avoiding those things. And then looking back now, she's four years old and she's lactose intolerant. Yeah, that was probably a really, yeah, probably a really big [00:26:00] factor that we didn't know at the time. Oh, yes. Newborns. Yeah. Do you feel like you had any postpartum depression during that time at all, or do you feel like it was just like, life is hard and we're going to get through this, but it's hard?
Yeah, I feel like I probably had a little bit at the time. Um, I think a lot of it just factored in just so many changes in such a short amount of time. And then, you know, like just hormones and, you know, all of it just combined. Like I said, we still only had one vehicle. So like, I felt like I was kind of just trapped at home all day with like a screaming newborn.
And I did not know what I was doing. And so, um, That I probably feel like I did have a lot of postpartum depression that I dealt with because I remember like at times it was like I was standing outside of my body like put yourself together like this is not you you can do this like you're just being extra emotional right now [00:27:00] like girl pull yourself together and so like that was Like that was really, really rough at the time.
So I, I feel a hundred percent that I had postpartum depression. And then after I finally started taking, you know, like better supplements and vitamins and stuff again, I felt a lot better after that too. Were you able to or how were you able to lean on the Lord during all that time? During that time, it was a lot of prayer and a lot of people praying for me.
Um, there was a lot of things that the Lord just kind of showed me like, Hey, this is, you know, this is not in your own strength, but you know, I needed God's strength to carry me through those times, like I couldn't do it on my own. And, you know, being a wife itself was all new and then being a mom as well in such a short amount of time, you know, it felt really overwhelming.
So the Lord just showed me like, Hey. This [00:28:00] isn't you to begin with like you're trying to do all these things on your own But if you just trust me and help me or let me help you Things will get better. So yeah yeah, I really you know, like I struggled there for a little while in my own personal devotional life because So many things, you know In family, you could just put first and before the lord And I had been because you know You I'm like, how am I supposed to read my Bible if I've got a screaming newborn the whole time?
Yeah. I would, I would choose a shower, you know, unfortunately I chose a shower that I haven't showered in three days over, you know, sitting down and reading my Bible, looking back, you know, if I just would have prioritized my time with the Lord. Oh girl, I would choose sleep usually. Oh yeah. Well, you know, whenever you finally get like a little bit of a break in those early days, I think sleep like trumped everything.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Shower three days is not bad to not shower during newborn. I mean, take it like to eight [00:29:00] days. That's, that's more of a good average for me in the newborn life. Oh, yeah, it was, it was rough. I remember like we lived in this little itty bitty tiny trailer and our bathroom was so small. You could literally walk in there and either choose to use the toilet or choose to hop in the shower.
Like it was so tiny and I couldn't even wedge like a bouncer or anything in there. So like fry the door open as far as I could and like try to wedge like even just her feet, you know, in the bouncer in there so I could see that she was still moving while I was showering. But yeah, it was, it was really challenging.
But, you know, looking back, like the Lord helped grow us in that time, like just grow us in, you know, when, as we're spouses or as we're parents, you know, whatever it is, whatever our role is in life. We can't do it on our own and we have to have the Lord's help through that [00:30:00] because I can, I can see all the times looking back now when I've tried to do it on my own and it has been an utter failure.
Oh yeah. Okay, take us into your next pregnancy then. You knew you wanted to do things differently. You knew you didn't want to repeat the same thing.
I'm guessing your daughter was a little over a year whenever your next pregnancy came along. Yep. We, um, let's see, she turned a year old, obviously in that July and then, you know, She was like, so fun to be around. Like, I love that like 12 to 18 month old age, like they're just so fun learning and everything.
And I was like, you know what? I think I can do this again. Like, I think this time around, I want to be able to try to do things a little bit differently and to have a better experience with birth and a better experience just in everything, [00:31:00] honestly, like I want to be more knowledge going into this and just all the things.
And so there were a lot of specific things that I prayed about. Um, you know, like as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I think that was December. And, uh, we had told, we actually had both of our families together, which is really kind of rare. So we're like, okay, this is a perfect time during Christmas time to tell both of our families.
And so we announced to them and, um, I obviously felt the nausea and the fatigue again throughout that whole pregnancy, um, well the first half of the pregnancy. But thankfully that time I knew I was like, okay, I'm starting to feel this way. I'm starting to feel it exhausted again. This is a little iron problem.
So I immediately like went straight to my OB and was like, all right, you guys test my blood. I know what this is for a fact, but [00:32:00] we need to deal with this. And cause I knew there was no way I had the option of laying on the couch for half the day with an almost two year old. Right. So, um, they're just like the beginning ever since the beginning of that pregnancy, I had prayed very specific prayers.
I prayed, you know, like we still had really bad, um, COVID restrictions and all of our OB offices. And so I was like, okay, I'd really love to actually have visitors this time in the hospital. So I had prayed for, you know, The restrictions to let up so we can actually have visitors. So I could actually see family this time.
Um, I prayed from the very beginning that I actually had one doctor that would see me and that I, that would really just, you know, care for what I wanted in the pregnancy and in the labor. And so as soon as I, let's see, I [00:33:00] think I had the first doctor I went to. I think she was the second. And as soon as I met her, it was like, the Lord just was like, this is it.
This is the doctor. And there were so many things that I really like voiced my opinion for that were not in the norm of the medical field that they were like, that she was just very, very open about, and she was like, If that's what you want, you know, like, um, you know, I vouch for you and your pregnancy and like, what were some of those things?
So some of the things were like, um, they were wanting me to do like a iron transfusion. Um, and I told her, I said, well, I really just don't feel comfortable getting an iron transfusion because I really don't know, you know, Who I'm getting it from and I'm trying to, I don't know how that's going to affect, you know, and so she was like, all right, well, what do you want to do?
And I was like, I'd really like to take this more naturally. Like, I'd like to [00:34:00] try doing like, maybe a liquid iron or, you know, just like supplements that'll help with my iron. Cause I found out that I just don't absorb iron like I should. And so, um, have you heard about beef liver? Yes, I had a really good friend that told me she's like beef liver works wonders and I'm like, okay Well, I am so sick.
I could not fool myself to eat raw beef liver. I'm so sorry Even if it's frozen, I can't do it because she's like this is what I do every day And I was like, yeah, that's not for me. And she's like, well Well, what if I dehydrate it and I put it in capsules and I'm like, okay, now that I could do So she would dehydrate beef liver for me And make me beef liver supplements and oh my goodness I was so when you make this come around I would take eight of those a day Plus like extra iron with vitamin c and oh my word [00:35:00] I was still like they were still like my numbers would like Barely, barely creep up, and then they would like hold, and my doctor's like, we gotta work on this a little bit faster, and I'm like, I'm trying.
Well yeah, because like every day of the pregnancy, you're growing more, and your blood volume is growing more, so your needs are growing more, and so it's like, it's something that can be helped a lot, starting from the beginning, and then like increasing, you know, your intake over time. But. You probably had a lot of making up for lost time to do.
Oh yeah, it was, it was pretty crazy and pretty intense for a little while. I'm like, alright, my guts do not thank me for this at all, but. You know what? If it's helping, we'll do it. So, you know, just trying to change my whole diet as far as just eating more red meat and more iron rich foods, you know, just Yeah.
Anything that I possibly could to try to just get my body to absorb [00:36:00] every bit of it. Cooking in cast iron. Did you guys cook in cast iron? Oh yes. Oh yeah. We tried. We tried to up it and thankfully the Lord answered that prayer too because I had prayed that, you know, I wouldn't have to get an iron transfusion but if that's what it took to keep baby safe.
healthy and, you know, myself healthy during labor process than I would. Was there anything else that you wanted to do that was sort of against the norm that your doctor was like, Oh, okay. And like, if that's how you want to do it, um, and you said the iron infusions, but I wasn't sure if there was anything else.
Yeah. Um, I think like for the most part, I was just trying to be a little bit more Um, I guess you could say natural and things to like extra, you know, medications that sometimes they would prescribe, or I think the only thing that I really kind of like let up on was when I would like take medicine for nausea, because I would get [00:37:00] so sick to the point to where I just didn't want to eat anything.
And so that, you know, took its toll as well. And so, um, but most of everything else, like as far as just really She was like really really There to help me like make sure I had a birth plan and like just very informative on everything that I didn't know in my first pregnancy that was like, Hey, you know, it would probably be a good idea for you to go on ahead and do this or go on ahead and plan for this and just, it was, Really, really, really great to have, you know, like a night and day difference of just overall care for me and baby.
So is that a doctor you saw during your first pregnancy at all? Or did you only see her during your second? Yeah, only during my second and I was really, really sad to find out that a couple months ago, she left their practice and I was like, yeah, but I, I had told my [00:38:00] Chris, uh, my husband, Chris, that he, or that I wanted to do a home birth at one point and he was like, Yeah, maybe not this time.
Like we really need to figure out the whole iron problem. We need to make sure, you know, that your labor goes well. And, you know, looking back now, I'm like really thankful that we did, because I just wanted, I would have rather had peace of mind for that as well. You got really low iron and, you know, you bleed out a little extra, but that can be pretty dangerous.
So, but yeah, I just, there were a lot of things that I feel like the Lord just kind of. Helped not happen in the first labor and birth that made me more determined that, hey, from now on, like future births, I have these goals and I have these prayers and expectations that I really would love to happen in all my future births.
And like this next one, I was just like, all right, I really want a [00:39:00] fast labor or a faster labor. If I can, you know, obviously that's not up to me, but if you're praying about it, that, you know, the Lord will, you know, he knows the desires of our hearts. So when your first labor wasn't too long, so that's a pretty good chance of that.
Oh yeah. And so, uh, I had prayed about that and I was like, okay, I'm going to be a little selfish here and I'm going to pray that I have a daytime labor and that I actually get a little bit of sleep the night before because I know myself, if I don't have like at least four hours of sleep, I am not a good person to be around.
So, um. As are most people. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well I had, I had for sure prayed for that, maybe for my husband too. So , right. Uh, but I had prayed about that. And then my biggest thing was like, I just really, really prayed that I had a better postpartum experience [00:40:00] and, you know, I wouldn't deal with postpartum depression or, you know, any after effects from like an epidural or, you know, I wasn't even sure.
Every now and then I still felt the twinge of having the epidural before even while I was like early on pregnant with, um, my second Liam and I was like, I don't, I don't know that I can do postpartum very well at all if I still have effects from the first one. So I was just like, Lord, it'd be great if I had a better postpartum experience after this one.
And I was totally like, I do not want an epidural unless absolutely necessary. So I'm going to try to do this as natural for as long as possible. And I do not have a very good pain tolerance. So I was almost in a way, not really like super hopeful. But at the same time, I was like, [00:41:00] all right, Lord, I know you can help me with this.
You know, let's try to go into this a little bit more knowledgeable and to try to, you know, prepare myself for labor. And so. We ended up, I mean, like doing everything that I possibly could and that I knew for a second labor, you know, as natural as possible and just tried to prepare my body for it. I did a lot of walking, a lot of, you know, obviously running around and almost two year old.
Right. So we, uh, probably like a month before I had him, I was like, this kid is so low. I'm going to have him so early, which. I was kind of prepared because I had Scarlett early. So, and then my mom's had all of hers early. So I'm like, all right, the odds are that I'm probably going to have him early. And I would tell my husband for like a month before I had him, I'm like, he is so low, I feel like if I started [00:42:00] laboring now, he just fall out like so much pressure all the time.
So probably like three. Honestly, no, like four weeks before I had him, I did all the walking. I started drinking like a little bit of raspberry leaf tea here and there. I'm like, let's get this kid out. I am so done for being pregnant. Obviously I was in like the middle of July and August. So I'm like, I'm over it.
Like, let's get this kid out. And he was going to prove me wrong, and wait until, yeah, like really wait. I ended up being like 40 weeks, still no kid, and I'm like, Great, we have got to pop him out, let's try some things. And I did not want to try a casserole, I'm sorry, but like, that was my last option. You know, I was like, nope.
We're gonna wait for this absolute last option and so we did walking [00:43:00] and I hiked like One of our roads that's pretty steep incline. I probably walked for like two miles And I was feeling tons and tons of pressure and I'd feel like my body wanted to start contractions, but it just never would. And I'm like, Oh my goodness.
I'd feel so frustrated. So defeated. So were you having any like Braxton Hicks contractions or any prodromal labor or was just nothing happening? No, I was walking around four and a half centimeters dilated for a month. Yeah. So my doctor's just like, your body is just not ready. It's not certain. You know, it's not wanting to start contractions yet.
And I felt so bad for that lady because she thought for sure I was going to have them early and like the last, like three weeks, she's like, I don't want to see you here again, like go home, go have this kid, don't want to see you here. And, um, so we got to 40 weeks and I was like, we gotta [00:44:00] get this kid out.
Like, let's do anything that we can. And he just was super content. And. Um, we got to 40. Let's see. I had him at. Forty and five. So like, forty and four days. We decided to go down to my family's an hour and a half south of us. And I'm like, you know what? He's not coming already. I just had made up in my mind that he's never gonna come.
It's okay. I'm probably just gonna have to be induced at this point. Like, he's just hanging on tight. I had no Braxton Hicks. No signs. Like, nothing. And so we went down and hung out with my family the whole night, or this was on a Saturday, and we hung out with my family the whole day, drove back home, and I slept great that night.
I was wore out, slept great. And we got up Sunday morning and I was gonna get ready to go to church like any other day. And 10 minutes [00:45:00] before my alarm went off at eight, I was like, man, I feel sick and I should've known because that's how I felt with my first one. Yeah, but I felt really stomach sick and like probably 20 minutes later, I told my husband, I said, I feel off.
I don't know if I'm going to go to church today, like at least not this morning. I'll see about maybe tonight. He's like, well, I think it might be labor. And I was like, no, cause I don't feel any. Contractions like I'm still fine. And so I just sat down. In the middle of the floor in our bathroom. He's like, all right, well, I'm going to take a shower and get ready for church.
This is funny. Both times my husband's been in the shower when I told him that contractions have started and I sat there and I felt a pretty good contraction. I'm like, okay, hold on. We might be having something here, but at the same time I was like, but what if this is just Braxton Hicks or what if this is [00:46:00] just like pedrominal labor or something like who knows at this point, I should have known, you know, I'm Past due.
But, um, I was like, all right, let's, let's time these things. He's like, well, just time 'em and let me know how, how it's going. I timed the first three, and they were two minutes apart, . Oh. So they, they were just like, okay. And we're starting. Yeah. And when they started they were intense. I mean, like, I had to just like, be quiet, you know, breathe through them and then.
I was fine to get up and go again. He's like, I really think that we should call our friends to come pick up Scarlett. And I'm like, all right, but you're going to have to call him because as soon as I answered the phone, I'm going to have another contraction. I can't speak. So he called them up and the time that it took for them to get over, which they're like eight minutes from us, they came and picked her up.
I was standing in the middle of the living room and I was, my [00:47:00] friend was like, are you all right? And I'm like, I think he's going to fall out. Like, I can't keep them in and she's like, you need to go and it was pouring down rain. I had a contraction. My husband backed up the car as close as he could to the doorway.
I had a contraction standing in the doorway, walked down three steps and got in the car and had another contraction sitting in the car. I couldn't even close the door. They were so fast. So is this all like, I mean, I guess like 15 minutes from when you felt that first contraction? Yeah. How? Yeah, it was really, really close.
Fast. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I was timing them and I looked back actually just a couple of days ago and they were like a minute and like 40 seconds apart when I was timing them at the very beginning and that was Really crazy to me like yeah, I did not have any time to mentally prepare Is that labor? I was so excited.
I'm like i'm gonna try the jacuzzi tub this time I'm gonna try water birth like i'm gonna try all these things [00:48:00] now I got embarrassed. They put me in triage and by the time i'm in triage i'm over here like Just coming Like making noises and vocalizing and everything Yes, and they Still decided to put me in triage and say, Hey, can you throw on this gown?
And I'm like, we want to do an NST and we want to monitor the heart rate for a little bit. By the time I got in there and they had checked me, I was almost nine centimeters dilated. And it was like, I can't, I can't even remember all of it. It was so fast. They literally wheeled me into the first L and D room because that was the closest one there, and then had the audacity to ask me if I wanted an epidural or not, and the anesthesiologist was performing an epidural for a, um, oh, what do you call it?
It was another patient, [00:49:00] um, But she had to do all a c section and he was like, yeah, uh, can you wait like 15 minutes? And the nurse was like, I don't think we have that long. Uh, yeah. Yeah. So they were trying to get me flipped over onto my side and took like all my handrails down, all my feet. Rails down and like, like the stirrups and everything, and I'm like laying there on the table, like yelling, like do y'all not know, like he's coming, like now, like I've got to push now, and finally, I think the most confusing thing was they never really told me how far I was into labor, and because I had had the epidural with my first, I didn't know what to expect, like what to feel.
You never felt the pressure. Yeah, nothing. So I was. I was just thinking, like, in my mind, if I've got to go through this for another, like, 10 minutes, I cannot take this much pain. My contractions at that point were back to back, [00:50:00] and I had zero time to, like, even take a breath. It was just, everything was intense.
My water hadn't broken yet, and I'm, like, thinking in the back of my mind, Oh, this is This is crazy. And I'm going to be like this for another hour and, um, had a phone call there. Okay. Um, but I ended up, uh, just really just like laying there and just like, okay, I'm going to let them give me the cue. When I can start pushing, like, let's just, let's have this kid.
And I knew when they call or when they asked me about an epidural, I knew the very second, there's no way I'm getting one. Like there's absolutely no way. And the lady was finally like, all right. Um, whenever you're ready to push, just say, and I'm like, I gotta get pushed. Were you already pushing at [00:51:00] that point?
Like just naturally or. No, I held him in. I fought against my own body and I feel like he would have been born so much sooner if I wouldn't have tried to hold him in and fight against it. But when they finally said, all right, you can push, it was like that instant like switch was like, all right, I'm good to go.
They're ready because nobody was there. There like right when you first got there. Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, well, I can't push him now. Like she's gonna fall out So when they finally said that and I told him I have to push he was out in one push water broke he was out He just went flying out and oh man That is so much Right the relief that comes after they're out It was so fast.
I went from like thinking I was stomach sick and then not even two hours later holding my baby. Holding your baby. And I'm like, What just happened? [00:52:00] Wow You got your you got your fast Daytime no epidural labor Yeah Looking back like if I wouldn't have had him as fast as I had him. I they would have given me the epidural so it was like god was just planning every single thing that went along.
And, you know, if it would have been according to my will, I would have chosen, you know, the pain relief. I would have chosen epidural because, you know, I just don't handle pain very well. Well, and you had had it before. So you knew like the relief that it would bring and yeah. Oh yeah. So it was just like, God was just planning every single step and answering every single prayer according to The way that I, you know, even though it wasn't exactly in my mind, the way that I thought it was going to go, you know, he knew exactly what I wanted.
And, uh, they ended up releasing the visitor restriction policy, [00:53:00] like three weeks before I had him. And so we were able to have my sister in law and brother come up and they saw him. And it was just such a sweet time. They wheeled me, you know, to the, um, postpartum room and. It was like, I just remember sitting there and like the light was shining in through the window and my husband, I think was napping at the time or whatever, and I'm just sitting there on the bed with us newborn and it was like, Lord was just bringing back every single prayer that I had prayed and the way that he had answered every single one.
And when you talk about an overwhelming sense of just thankfulness and unworthiness, that was just. It was so mind boggling, you know, just obviously also to hormone emotions, you were on the hormone high to, Oh yeah, it was great, but it was just exactly, you know, [00:54:00] the birth that I, I needed, you know, at the moment and the Lord just blessed me with that.
No, it was just so sweet and so precious and then just being able to bring them home and introduce them to a two year old, you know, she was like, this is my baby. Oh, right. A little mama over there. Yeah. But it was just so special. So then, with all those answered prayers and that super fast birth, and usually the really fast births, the postpartum healing process usually is much smoother and swifter, because your body didn't have to go through, you know, labor for as long.
The postpartum healing was so great. I mean, I felt worse, you know, during those monthly times than what I ever did even after having him. I was I was So I felt so good. I mean, I was walking around the hospital room, like a couple of hours after I had him just walking around, changing them, [00:55:00]doing stuff, you know, like going and taking my own shower, just whatever.
And I was like, this is amazing. There would have been no way I would have been able to do this with my first one. Like this is great. And I needed that too, because chasing around a two year old. Yeah. She was very active, so there would have been no way I had the option to sit on the couch. So not getting the epidural felt worth it then at that time?
Oh yeah. And that just proves now like when we have, you know, other kids in the future, I'm like, yeah, no epidural is absolutely the way to go. So how did breastfeeding go? Did he have any reflux issues or any dietary issues like your first? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, he did phenomenal, like, it was so great. He latched great, nursed great.
I mean, I didn't really have to, I kind of figured like with my first one, [00:56:00] like two of the biggest things I had to avoid were like broccoli and onion. So I definitely avoided those with him because I could kind of tell if I like snuck a little bit in there. He was just kind of like, uh, nope. Absolutely not, mom.
Extra gassy. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, obviously like the normal, you know, things to kind of try to avoid a little bit and limit. I kind of did with him, but he, he did great. And I nursed him like way longer than my first, um, my first, I think I nursed her, I mean, obviously like I supplemented after. three months a little bit with her.
I still nursed her until she was like 10 or 11 months. And then with him, I nursed him until he was like 14 months. So. Wow. What do you feel like God taught you through these experiences? What do you feel like your biggest takeaways from him were? Um, honestly, just that if we [00:57:00] just come before him and we ask him, you know, prayers, and if we just have desires of our hearts, you know, he does, He does care about us and he does care what we want.
And the only key is, is like, we just have to ask and we have to trust him. And that was something that sounds, you know, so cliche, you know, so many times you hear people, you know, say he cares about you and even in the Bible when you read, you know, he cares, but when it's really just super personal and You know, you've just, you've prayed about something for so long, you know, and you've just poured your heart out just to, you know, to see him actually perform those miracles and perform those answer to prayers in a personal way is, you know, he just showed me how mighty he is, you know, and how little I am because I can't do it on my own.
And even, you know, still day to day as I'm raising my, [00:58:00] you know, two year old, my four year old and whoo, those are some. Testy trying ages. You're right there. You're right there in the thick of it with the two and four year old. That's what everybody tells me. So, you know, but like even on the rough days, you know, just coming before him, you know, just even during the evenings after it's all said and done and they're asleep and you're like, man, you know, I really could have handled the, you know, the stay a little bit better.
You know, you start feeling the mom guilt a little bit on how you handled certain things, you know, and just him showing me, you know, well. Usually those times were the times that you try to do it on your own and you try to take control and you know, you kind of got a little bit of better the situation, you know, just kind of showing me that if I just trust him and I just follow him and, you know, help lead my family in the way that we, you know, we should go.
Yeah. My kids learn, you know, they learn from experience, you know, too, too often you hear that phrase do as I say, not as I do, but [00:59:00] that's not the case with talking. Oh yeah, no, no. They're little mockingbirds. They're little copycats. Oh yeah. They just pick up on everything. I really do. I feel like when we first had our, our first and she, you know, became like two and three years old.
It was just like, looking in the worst mirror, when she would do something, and I was like, why is she doing that? Or, and then, like, realizing instantly, like, it's because I do it, or it's because I say that, or it's because I, you know, react that way, and. I'm like, whew, like it's, it's like the quickest accountability and conviction.
Oh, yeah. Like just like trying to do better yourself. So. Oh, yeah. I love that, you know, the ages of your kiddos. We have a three and five year old right now. So they're a little, yours are like just over two years apart. These two are like just under two years apart, but very similar age. And I will say now, They're a little bond and they're a little friendship and they're a little like holding [01:00:00]hands together and, and talking to each other in their own little, like cute little way.
It's so much fun. And, and even this year, so much more than last year, it's like they were doing it a little bit last year at two and four, but now at three and five, it's like they're BFFs forever. I mean, they fight and cause they're kids, but like, but they just want to be together all the time. And it's so fun.
Oh, well, that definitely makes me look forward to the three and five year old age. Yeah. Like, they are starting to get there, though. Like, they will. They'll hold hands. Like, earlier, when I took my little boy grocery shopping, he goes, Mom, where's Scarlett? Is she coming too? And I'm like, Aw. Yeah. Do you have any advice for any moms out there?
Or any parents? Any advice you would say, um, maybe for a mom who, um, Is pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant? What would you say? Um, probably just to do as much research as you can. Like, don't overbear [01:01:00] yourself with the research because sometimes they can be a little scary. But try to prepare yourself, you know, for, try to really just think about what, you know, you kind of, like your expectations for your labor and your birth and get a really good Support group, you know, like get surrounded by good friends and family.
And, you know, if you're not around people that you really know. Then just really just dive yourself into God's Word, pray, you know, just just trust Him over the things because You know There there are a lot of things that I could have prayed about more and trusted Him more and would have gone a much better way, but you know Obviously, you know looking back now just really establishing your relationship with the Lord makes all the difference in In marriage and parenthood and all of it Oh yeah, definitely.
Well, thank you for sharing everything. Thank you for having me. I've [01:02:00] been looking forward to this for so long. Of course. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can reach me at Surrendered Birth Services on Instagram or email me at contact at surrenderedbirthservices. com. Be sure not to miss an episode by hitting the follow button.
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So real quick before we jump back to your story, um, did your friend really. Dehydrate the liver and cap and like encapsulate it for you. She did. That is a really really nice friend Oh, yeah, so you I think you interviewed not too long ago my friend Jenny and John. Yeah Yeah, I know then and when she was talking about crunchy Kim, that would be crunchy Kim.
Ah Crunchy Kim did it? [01:04:00] Okay