058 - Childbirth Can Be A Catalyst for Faith (with Jennifer Plemmons)

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Having your first two babies at 39 weeks doesn’t mean all of your babies will come at 39 weeks. Having a beautiful, peaceful, smooth and quick natural home birth once, doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have that every time. Our expectations leading into birth and during birth have such an impact on our experiences. Jennifer learned this first hand as she had three natural births, one at the hospital and two at home, but three different experiences. Listen and learn how surrendering her plans and expectations to God ultimately brought her the most peace. 

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TRANSCRIPT:

Jennifer: [00:00:00] She was like, yeah, this is something that like, you know, in a situation like this, when I see it's selling out, like it is really helpful to check. And in my mind, I always just thought you check and it's just a number. And that's why I didn't really want to be checked. So I was like, it does not going to help.

But she was able to tell so much more from that check. And she was able to know, Baby was not lined up and baby was not gonna come if she wasn't lined up with my cervix. And it was very humbling and I'm so grateful for her because I was not thinking about that. I was not in a headspace to think about that.

And if I had been in a different setting with a different care provider, I do believe I would've ended up with a C-section.

Kayla: Hi, I'm Kayla Heater, follower of Jesus wife and mother of five children. Christian child birth educator and doula and your host of the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, where we share God centered birth stories, evidence [00:01:00] based birth education, and our pursuit of surrendering our birth plans to God.

Let's get started. Happy birthday to me, not the podcast. Podcast birthday was a few weeks ago, but it's actually my birthday. Well, September 29th, so. Very close. Um, just doing a little get together with my family. We're trying to figure out when my husband and I can go on a birthday date. But you know that requires a babysitter and some planning.

So that hasn't happened yet. But, but we are doing a family dinner and some cake. And some hangout, so that'll be fun. And my son, True, will be so excited because there will be balloons and he is obsessed with balloons because he's three and he has literally been asking for them all day, every day for the last week.

So he finally gets balloons, which is great. And somehow I am 36 years [00:02:00] old. I don't understand how that's possible. I very quickly, like, remember a time just not too long ago, I don't know, I was probably in college, and I thought that, you know, like, when someone was in their mid to late thirties, I was like, oh, that's old.

You know, like in my mind, because, you know, you're 20 and you're like, oh gosh, mid to late thirties, that's, you know, you're getting up there. And now I'm like, I'm 36 and I'm young, right? I'm fresh and I'm, I can still move and do things. I will say that my knees crack a little bit more when I'm going up and down the stairs or getting up and down off the floor.

Um, and I do have more white hairs than I can pluck now, but still feel young. So that's, what's important. I just told my husband, as long as we keep moving and as long as we keep eating well, we'll live to be a hundred. It'll be great. My Papaw is 94 years old. So, I've got evidence right there. He still mows his own grass and drives himself around town, so.

I've [00:03:00] got faith it's going to happen. Okay, so other exciting things happening, um, that I couldn't fit into last week's episode. Goodness gracious, that was a long intro, uh, is our next in person childbirth class is coming up. So if you or somebody you know. lives in the triad area or close to us. I've had people drive in, um, you know, from Durham and Winston and that kind of stuff.

But we are going to be doing our next comprehensive Christian childbirth course in November. So it'll be on Sunday evenings in November in person here in Greensboro from 5 PM. So if you or somebody, you know, needs a course. Please reach out to me. We would love to have you in this upcoming class. We talk about literally everything.

So all pregnancy stuff, different care providers, birth environments. We talk about nutrition exercises. We go into [00:04:00] every single detail about labor stages and delivery and early postpartum and late postpartum and breastfeeding and newborn care like. Everything and how God intricately designed it all. So please, if you haven't, even if you, you know, maybe you've had a baby before, you've had two babies before.

I've had multiple people take this course who were not first time moms who got so much out of it and went on to have sons.

So please, we would love to have you, it'll be in November, again, just reach out, um, and there will be a link in the show notes where you can go and read more about the class and then, um, There'll be a form there where you can contact me if you would like to get more information or ask me more questions or sign up.

And also, if you do not live in the triad of North Carolina or near us, we are still working on our online course. We are in the You know, editing stages and the, [00:05:00] I guess, behind the scenes stages of writing all the copy for, um, the different pages and course pages and stuff and trying to get like all the back end stuff set up.

And it is quite tedious and time consuming, um, in our life with five kids and homeschooling and running a business and all the things. So little by little, we are getting on with it. But maybe if you're due. you know, in the spring, that would probably be an option for you. So our November class here in person, that's really ideal for due dates of like late December, January, February, maybe early March, you know, that range, um, that sort of winter, Maybe jetting into a little bit of early spring, but, um, I will teach another class in person, um, probably in January or February for those spring babies of those like March, April, May, early June babies.

So just think about due dates. Think about when the best time might be to take your class. And also, if people have [00:06:00] asked me this, you can never take a class too early. The earlier, the better, you know, obviously, if you, if you're. you know, 35 weeks and you still haven't taken a class yet, by all means, let's do this.

But it's really never too early to take a class. I believe the more informed you are and the more prepared you are and the more time you have, that can really impact your birth experience in a positive way for sure. Okay, let's get into this week's episode. Having your first two babies at 39 weeks. That doesn't mean all of your babies will come at 39 weeks.

Having a beautiful, peaceful, smooth, and quick natural home birth once doesn't guarantee that you'll have that every time. Our expectations leading into birth and during birth have such an impact on our experiences. Jennifer learned this firsthand as she had three natural births, one at the hospital and two at [00:07:00] home, but three very different experiences.

Listen and learn how surrendering her plans and expectations to God ultimately brought her the most peace.

Well, welcome to another episode of the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast. I am your host, Kayla Heeter, and I have Jennifer with me today. Why don't you go ahead and tell us about yourself, family, life, what your day to day looks like, just so we can get to know you a little bit.

Jennifer: Yeah, well, thank you so much for having me.

I'm so excited to be here. Um, so my name is Jennifer. I live in Louisville, North Carolina, which is like Northwest Winston Salem. I live with my husband and my three beautiful girls. We are Bible believing Christians. We love being a part of our church. Um, we love the outdoors nature. Um, we're both into fitness [00:08:00] and nutrition.

I really like cooking and my husband really likes enjoying my cooking. So we're big on food and nutrition. Um, that's definitely a passion of ours and we love having kids. So specifically girls.

Kayla: Wow. Whatever the Lord gives you. Exactly. Exactly. Great. Let's start talking about your first daughter then. So take us back, take us back to what it was like getting pregnant with her.

What was that scenario like? What was that experience like in your mind?

Jennifer: Yeah, so we had been married five months when we found out we were expecting and We were not trying we were Actually actively trying not to get pregnant and we knew that we wanted kids We knew that we wanted a bunch of kids But we were kind of just listening to the world and what the world says about like, oh good establish, you know have have a house, all these things.

That was [00:09:00] what we kind of had in our heads. That was our plan. But I definitely had a desire to be a mom and to be a mom early on. And, um, and the Lord fulfilled that. And, um, I'm just so grateful for that. So, it was a surprise, um, I found out I was expecting, and I actually took a positive pregnancy test, um, and I was already 8 weeks, and I thought that I might already be further along, because I had actually had some bleeding the month prior.

Like I had missed my period and then had like a little bit of bleeding. Um, but when I missed my period, I had taken a test and it was negative. And my husband was actually already saying, like, I think, I think you're pregnant. Um, he always knows before me, he just has this sense. And so he was actually already saying, I think you're pregnant.

And, but I took a negative test and then the next month, and then I had some bleeding and just thought like, that was a weird period. [00:10:00] And then the next month. No period. Took a test. It was positive. Um, I was really nervous at first and I was nervous and I was scared and I, I didn't allow myself to be excited until I told him and he was so excited and then it was kind of like I allowed myself to be excited.

Um, because I mean, just seeing the look on his face, like, there wasn't fear in his eyes. He was just. He was just purely excited. And I know that he was scared in a lot of ways. Um, cause it was earlier than we had planned for, but I'll like, never forget like the look on his face. It just brought so much peace to me.

So yeah, we, we were expecting, I thought that I was like further along. Um, like I was like, I think I actually, I don't know why I didn't test positive with that first test, but I didn't. Um, and I, and I actually was, so I had no established care provider. Um, we had [00:11:00] moved to the area like six months, seven months prior.

And, uh, I just, I didn't, hadn't gone to anyone hadn't needed to. So I had no established care provider. Um, I knew that I wanted a natural birth. I didn't really know a lot about birth because, um, I just kind of wasn't in that, like, mental season preparation. Um, I'm, I'm a heavy researcher, but I just wasn't there yet.

Um, but I knew I wanted that. And I knew I didn't want to be in the hospital. I just, the idea of being in the hospital with a bunch of doctors and bright lights, and I've always been more like naturally minded. Um, it didn't sound like what I wanted. And my husband really didn't have opinions at this point.

Um, so I, I was calling around different places and I did talk to some OBs cause for some reason in my mind I was thinking like that was still the first step. I don't really know why, but I was still thinking that was the first step. And none of them would see [00:12:00] me until like four weeks after my positive test.

But for some reason I really wanted to be seen earlier cause I really wanted to know like how far along for sure I was. So, I kept calling places and like, they wouldn't see me cause I wasn't like an established care person. Like they weren't already my established care provider. So finally I called a birth center cause again, I wanted that.

But for some reason I thought I still had to start an OB, but they would see me right away. And I just instantly was like, this is, this is what I want to do. Before we even went, I did a bunch of research on that birth center. I was very excited. My husband was like, okay, let's do it. So we went, I loved the place.

I loved the rooms. They look so peaceful. That was what we were going to do. I was pleased with the midwives that we met with. Um, so that, yeah, we, we decided to go with the birth center and this particular birth center, unfortunately [00:13:00] was shut down. I can't remember exactly how far, I think I was like 34 weeks.

Kayla: Wow.

Jennifer: Um, and I'm sure you've had, you've talked to other people who like had the same situation I have too. Um, That was pretty devastating. I didn't want to go to the hospital route, but I kind of felt like at that point I had no option. So a bunch of those midwives were kind of going off and forming their own practice under the local hospital.

Um, so new midwifery. And I decided to go that route because. The idea of figuring out something different kind of overwhelmed me. Um, and I was like, I already know several of these women. Like, let's just, let's just do this. But I was, I was definitely bummed about having to be in the hospital, but I did like that, like we actually toured the hospital after that and they were like, yeah, if you're with the midwives, these are like the perks that you get.

And so I was like, okay, that, that helps. So I ended up, um, giving [00:14:00] birth at the hospital with my first, with the midwives. And I realized I didn't talk about kind of that pregnancy and how I felt. Overall, I would say I felt good that pregnancy. I had some nausea up front. It was not bad. I threw up a couple times.

I threw up like in my boss's office. But overall, I felt, I felt pretty good. I do believe that finding out I was pregnant unexpectedly. I actually believe that that's truly when I was saved. Before that, I would have said that I was, but When, when you find out you have this little life inside of you and you have no way of controlling what happens with that little life, there's a surrender that happens with that, that just compares to no other.

And I, for the first time, it was like, I truly understood my need for a [00:15:00] Savior Um, and. And I do believe that that is like ultimately what, what saved me. And so I, every time I look at her, I think about that and I'm so grateful again, that the Lord chose the time that he chose, um, to give me a daughter and to bring me ultimately to Christ.

So that is a very special thing about that initial pregnancy. Just this insane surrender to the Lord, turning from my sins, understanding my inadequacies, um, that I had not experienced before. So, but yeah, overall, it was a good pregnancy. I definitely had some nerves, um, as it just kind of happened quickly.

And I was also like, okay, we're doing this. We're becoming parents, but overall it was good. We were very excited.

Kayla: Did you end up doing anything to like prepare for your natural birth, like in terms of education or preparation, like, did you do anything to get ready for it?

Jennifer: So I did, and I, [00:16:00] I thought that I was prepared.

I really wasn't it's it's hard when you kind of don't have people in your life that help you and I didn't I just didn't really have, um, I didn't really have a community. I didn't know anyone. I knew 1 person that a birth naturally and I talked to her and so I took a class before they shut down the birth center offered a class and it was great.

It was a do that that taught it. And she showed videos. She talked about natural birth. Um, she talked about all the different interventions and what they could lead to. Um, and it was really great for my husband too. Um, we did it together. So that definitely helped. I tried to watch a lot of birth videos. I found that those were just not very realistic.

So I, I thought I was prepared. I really don't feel like I was, but I think it was just because of a lack of like Raw content and I hadn't really got into podcasts at that point and wow do podcasts make a huge [00:17:00] difference in preparing yourself So yeah, I did a little preparation. I I watched the business of being born I think I've I've read like the anime book So yeah, like some but not as much as I did later on

Kayla: cool Well, I'm just always curious when a first time mom is going into a natural birth but Like in her mind what preparation looks like.

Jennifer: Yeah, it's I I would say it's just really hard because it's like you don't really know What you're preparing for and if like again, if you just don't have people speaking into your life with like Authenticity, it's hard to find that on the internet, which is what I was doing.

Kayla: Yeah,

Jennifer: so the end of my pregnancy was kind of rough and Not necessarily physically, but well, I mean, yes, I was carrying so low.

I mean, so low. She dropped at like 32 weeks and the, the pressure [00:18:00] was so intense. And because of that, I just had in my head that I was going to go early. And I did, but not as early as I thought. My mom had had all of us early, and I was, you know, I was like, getting all the comments about how this baby was coming early, because I was so big, and I was, she was so low.

So we did find out the gender, and of course everyone was like, oh, it's a boy, because you're carrying so low. I'm like, no, this is, it's a girl. And they're like, well, you're, you must be due soon. You know, all the comments, um, And so I just had in my head and that made it kind of hard because I was just in this constant state of like anticipation.

I'm a planner. We had everything prepared. We had the bags packed pretty early on. I was having a lot of brocks and hicks. I was always kind of just curious, you know, I was always kind of aware of that and just like really paying attention. So on Father's day, um, 2019. [00:19:00] I had some like cramping super early in the morning.

I just kind of noticed it in my sleep, but, um, didn't really think much. We're still kind of going back to sleep. Um, it would kind of wake me up and go back to sleep. And then around 6 30 AM. I got up to go to the bathroom and I was like, well, I've either peed myself or my water is broke. And I was pretty certain because it just kept coming that my water broke.

Um, and so I go to my husband and I woke him up and I was like, happy father's day. I think I'm in labor. And he was like, oh, that's great. I'm going to go back to sleep. And he had really taken to heart in the child birthing classes about how, like, get as much sleep as possible. It could be days. He had really taken that to heart, which is totally great.

Um, so he, he rolls over and goes back to sleep. And honestly, I was just too excited to try to go back to sleep. [00:20:00] So I get up and I'm, I'm getting things ready. My plan was to have my sister there, um, at the birth with me. So I called her at some point, she came on over, I labored at home for a good while, um, we went to the hospital around lunchtime and I, I did feel pretty confident that I was.

I was definitely in labor and I was definitely far enough along to at least be admitted. We got there and there was like some construction going on and something with the parking and I don't really remember exactly because again I was already, I was kind of already at that point not completely paying attention to what's going around you.

So, my husband, like, did the, like, dropped me off, me and my sister off, and goes to try to find parking, and that ended up being, like, an hour long endeavor, because he, like, parked, and then he had to move it, and something with the construction. So, I go in, and they actually would not let my sister up there with me, because she was a guest, and I had to be, uh, like checked in, [00:21:00]admitted before she could come up with.

So I go up by myself and you could tell the receptionist did not believe I was in labor. I told her my water broke. Um, I told her how long I'd been laboring and she just didn't believe me. And she was like, okay, we'll go sit over there in the waiting room and someone will come and check you. I was in there for like an hour and my husband finally makes it up.

And I was like, I was in rough shape. I was like, not having a good time. I was, I couldn't sit in the chair, so I had been standing, random people have been like asking me if I was okay, and then finally he gets up there and he's like, so he goes out and he's like, hey, he grabs this random nurse. She was wonderful.

She comes in. She brings me back. She checks me. I think I was a five and a half and she goes out and she's like, why did you guys not check her? Why did you guys not admit her like her water broke? Um, and so I get into a room and from there, it just kind of happened quickly. Honestly, it's kind of a blur, but [00:22:00] the midwife came and it was actually the midwife that I had never like, I had never met.

I had never had the chance to have an appointment with her. And I remember I got in the tub. Of course, I couldn't give birth in the tub. I could only labor in there. For some reason, I didn't like it as much as I thought I would, which is funny because now I'm like such a fan of being in the tub. But, um, at the time I just, I don't know, I wasn't.

Enjoying it as much as I'd expected. And then I got out and I remember I got out and I was like, I've got to poop and I run to the bathroom and I'm sitting on the toilet and the nurse comes in and she rushes me off and she was like, no, no, no, that's your baby's head. And I just remember being so frustrated because I was like, I know my baby's head is down there, but I also know that I need to go to the bathroom and you're not letting me.

And that was frustrating. Because she rushes me back to the table and then, um, I'm, I'm like laying on the, the, the hospital bed [00:23:00] and I ended up being on my back. It's just kind of, I think I tried some other musicians and they didn't feel good. And of course, that was kind of the automatic what they encourage you to do.

Um, and so I labored and then I started pushing on my back and it was like, about an hour. Of pushing and I, I really did not enjoy pushing. I thought that I would because you hear people talk about how it's like a relief. For me, it was kind of the opposite. And I remember my husband had like one of my legs, my sister had the other.

And it was just, I remember thinking this is not what I wanted. Like the, the bright lights, all the strangers being on my back hospital bed. Like that was exactly. What I didn't want, I was very grateful though. I had not had any other interventions. I ultimately did have a natural birth, but there was some things that about that.

I didn't like when she was delivered, they, they put her [00:24:00] on my chest and I, I started hemorrhaging like, right after and so that's that it kind of spiraled into a bunch of interventions and I remember. I had always expected that as soon as your baby's on your chest, you feel great and all the pain goes away.

And that just wasn't the case. And I was actually in a lot of pain and it was very unexpected. And I couldn't really enjoy those first moments. They were like going at my abdomen with the fundal massage. Um, and my placenta was like, they, they pulled that out. I don't know. It was kind of a rush they gave me.

Pitocin right away, and I'm just trying to like enjoy my baby and my husband's like ooing and awing at her And there's a sweet little picture of his his like she had put her finger in his hand And she had like wrapped her her hand around one of his fingers And I was just kind of, like, I was grimacing, like, if you look at the pictures, I'm [00:25:00] just, I'm holding her, but I'm just grimacing in pain.

And then this one nurse was like, wow, that was, you were the loudest person I've ever heard labor. The whole hall could hear you. And I was already like self conscious because I felt like I had been so loud. And I just remember being like, I don't need this right now. So, there was, there was just some disappointments in, in the setting of that, but I'm very, very grateful that I did have a natural birth in a hospital, and I feel very lucky.

It could have gone very differently. It was not the worst experience. I'm very grateful for a lot of things, but there were some things that as I chewed on and as I reflected on, I just realized this isn't, that wasn't what I wanted. So yeah, that was my first daughter's birth.

Kayla: How long was it from when your water broke to when you had her?

Jennifer: So, um, let me think. So my water broke around six and then she was born, um, at [00:26:00] five, five 35, 37. So, so pretty short, 11 hours. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

Kayla: for a first time, mom, that's real short.

Jennifer: It did feel like it was short and it kind of felt like everything because we were like driving the hospital. The hospital is very close to us, but.

And then I was waiting in the waiting room for so long. It did feel like it was all happening fast. When I got to the hospital, I got there at 1230 and then they checked me at like one 30 and I was, I was like five, five and a half at one 30. So my, my dilation happened relatively quick. After they had checked me and I think they checked me at some point, like one, one other time, maybe like right when I got out of the tub or something.

And I think at that point, I had been, I was like a seven, um, but so, yeah, it was, it was relatively quick, which I had, I had kind of expected that because my mom's labors were very quick.

Kayla: Yeah,

Jennifer: very quick. So I, I had kind of thought that that, that, that might be the case.

Kayla: [00:27:00] Hemorrhaging wise, was it like a, like a lot and did it happen before or after they pulled your placenta out?

Jennifer: So it was happening before and they said that that's why they were, they were like, we want to go ahead and get this out. I, I didn't know, I didn't know any better and I was also just, Very miserable.

Kayla: Yeah.

Jennifer: So, yeah, but it, the Pitocin, obviously that, that helps, but it made me feel worse. So, yeah. Um, I wish that that had been something that I had known about beforehand.

I had no idea that they gave Pitocin after the fact for hemorrhage. Right. And that, um, They should be, you know, maybe I understand there's emergencies, but I wish it had just been more of a conversation rather than like, hey, we're doing this. I understand it was emergency and I really don't know. I don't know how bad it was.

I was so out of it that I don't I don't really know how bad it was,

Kayla: but they never suggested like a blood transfusion or anything. And I did

Jennifer: [00:28:00] not, I did not have one. So obviously it wasn't, it wasn't terrible, but yeah, they just immediately did the Pitocin. I just had, I had awful chills and shakes. And my whole body was so sore.

I was very tight intense during that labor. Um, and then it just kind of transferred into postpartum. So I was, my body was like very sore and I thought that was natural, but after having two more natural births, I'm like, that was not normal. It was just, I was very tense. Um, and I, I do chalk a lot of that up to being unprepared in some ways, but then also the environment.

Kayla: Yeah. So how was your postpartum then? How did breastfeeding go? How did postpartum go?

Jennifer: So postpartum was really, really rough. I wouldn't say that I actually had any like postpartum depression or anything like that, but it was just all around rough. Breastfeeding was rough. She had a tongue tie. I had no idea what a tongue tie was.

No one had noticed it and pretty much [00:29:00] right after we got home, I had been sore, but I started bleeding

Kayla: like out of your nipples. You mean,

Jennifer: and like, she was like, gagging and spitting out the milk and it was like on both sides. So I actually ended up having to like, pump and throw that milk away because it was bloody and then pumping was obviously incredibly painful and then we didn't have any formula or we didn't have any donor milk.

So I was using formula. We were going back and forth to the pediatrician's office because. She was like, a little bit jaundiced. Looking back now, I, I don't like how that was handled. But, they were saying, like, they were sending us home with these lights and, like, if you, if her tests were this range, this number, we're gonna have to do the lights.

So, we may have to admit her. Um, she was not gaining weight as she should have been. And, it took a while for someone to realize The tongue tie and she was actually like having a hard time swallowing. So even with bottles that that wasn't really cutting it. So we were having to do the tube, [00:30:00] like basically like stick it down her throat.

Um, so it was a really rough experience. I was just like someone, my mom was there and someone was either like cleaning up throw up and she was like throwing up a lot. She had a lot of spit up and, or, or pumping and it was just, she was It was a mess. It was really rough. And then, on top of that I had torn, and they weren't bad, but they were directly, it was on the sides, and it was, they were directly across from each other.

The two little tears. And, the midwife had told me, because, you know, you're, you're not medicated, these aren't bad. I'm just, I'm not gonna do anything. Just keep an eye on it is what she said. I'm not gonna stitch him up. The first time, mom, I kind of tried to keep an eye on it, but I was like, I don't know what, I don't,

Kayla: I don't know what I'm looking at.

I don't know what

Jennifer: I'm looking at. And a couple days after we got home, I started having [00:31:00] really bad burning when I went to the restroom. And I thought maybe I'd gotten a UTI. We go back in, and they had actually healed and fused together. Oh. And so, my mom had the baby at home, it was just my husband and I, and she had to rip it apart and then cauterize both sides.

Kayla: Please tell me she numbed you for all of that.

Jennifer: She did like some like a topical numbing. Okay. Didn't really, didn't really help. Yeah. So, yeah, that was, that was pretty rough. I, I was like walking into my house across the porch and just struggling to walk to be honest. And my mom was like, what did they do to you?

Um, I couldn't sit. Even, even, like, laying down, like, I was really uncomfortable. And I was, so I was, like, standing and pumping, because, again, we're dealing with all the breastfeeding stuff, because I couldn't sit. And it was [00:32:00] rough. I finally got to where we could breastfeed. We did have her tongue tie clipped.

But she was dependent on a nipple shield. Like, she couldn't nurse without it. Cause I had to use that and then she had gotten to where that was all she knew. And so we kept trying, we kept trying and finally around 10 weeks, she got to where she could nurse without the nipple shield. And it was very messy.

So I, I just, I was like so excited to get her off of that. And then I went back to work at 11 weeks. So, Oh man. We had like one week where I was like, this is, this is what breastfeeding is supposed to be like, this is great. And she was just kind of in general, a more challenging baby. Didn't really like to sleep, ever.

Still doesn't. So it was hard. It was really hard. I'm like so grateful for my mom and my sister and the support that they provided. Obviously my husband, but it was a challenging, it was a challenging postpartum. Um, but luckily my husband and I, we, we really [00:33:00] wanted more kids. So I was like, we're, we're doing this again.

When we had our second daughter, I did a lot of work in preparing for postpartum for it to look different. And, and it did. So that, that was my, that was my first part of my,

Kayla: of my first. Wow. I'm proud of you. I mean, for going on to have more children, I know a lot of women would have been like, yep, I'm never doing that.

Never doing that again. Yeah. Especially with the lack of stitching and then the fusing and then, oh gosh, that sounds like the most painful part. I mean, I'm sure it was all painful, like with the bleeding nipples and that, like, just, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Jennifer: It was tough. It was tough. I was just kind of like, what?

What is going on? Like, this isn't how this is supposed to be. Yeah. And I knew, I knew I was like, this is not, this is not how it's supposed to be. My, my sister had a daughter eight months after me and I was able to like witness how that went for her. [00:34:00] And it was completely different. And that went on, that was what I was like, some things didn't work out how they were supposed to, but I also know that the Lord sent me through those challenges for, for reasons.

Um, and, and I learned a lot, a lot during that time.

Kayla: So your sister had a baby eight months after you had yours. And I feel like just from what you said, I feel like that gave you hope. That gave you hope that it could look better, that it could go smoother, be easier. Yeah. So with that, at what point did you and your husband decide to continue having all these babies that you wanted to have?

Jennifer: Yeah. So when my daughter, like a little bit before she was like 16 months, I always think a year and a half is when I start wanting another baby. We, I don't remember exactly when I could do the math, but we decided that we were just going to go ahead and like, not prevent, not necessarily actively try, but just.

Stop preventing. Um, it was a [00:35:00] very casual conversation because we had been talking about that for a little while and we knew it was coming and we got pregnant right away, right away and that was very exciting. So I, we, I took a pregnancy test and my husband was like giving my older daughter a bath. I just came and showed him and we were very excited.

Our older daughter loved babies, still does. So we were so excited for her to be a big sister. That pregnancy was wonderful. I felt Amazing, that pregnancy. And I knew that I wanted something different. I knew that I wanted my out of hospital birth. And at that point, I was like, I'm doing a home birth. Um, it took a little while for me to find someone.

I didn't have any connections. I didn't know anyone in the area that had done that. So I was like messaging random doula groups on Instagram. And finally someone gave me her [00:36:00] contact information. So I reached out and she was explaining the laws in North Carolina to me. And just kind of like, is this okay with you?

And I was just kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I didn't fully understand what they were, but I was just like, I don't, I don't really care about the laws. Like, I just want to give birth at home. Right. So we scheduled a meeting with her to come to our house and it was kind of a meet and greet where she'd get to know us.

Um, And it was wonderful. She was wonderful. Um, my husband was completely on board. He very much trusted me and my research. So we proceeded with that midwife, and she has created a really wonderful community in the area. So I was able to meet. All these other wonderful moms that had had similar experiences to me where they just knew they wanted something better.

And so my postpartum care was wonderful. It kind of took me back at first because it was so [00:37:00] Hands off, but in a good way.

Kayla: Oh, you mean like your prenatal care was wonderful. Yeah Okay, I was like wait postpartum. Do we jump? Yeah, I missed the verse. All right. I'm, sorry

Jennifer: Um, yes prenatal it was just You It was hands off in, in a, a trusting of the mother, a trusting of the process, a trusting in our creator way that had not existed.

In my previous care,

um,

Jennifer: and I realized then there is a huge difference in the midwives that operate at hospitals and potentially even birthing centers. There's just a, a very, very big difference. They're not the same. So yes, pregnancy was wonderful. I felt great.

Kayla: Any, uh, any secrets about how we can feel wonderful and great in our pregnancy?

Oh, Honestly, what did you do, Jennifer? How did, how did you pull that off?

Jennifer: The Lord, the Lord blessed me with it. I, I don't, of course, like I [00:38:00] was very on top of food and nutrition. I was drinking a lot of raw milk and doing a lot of saturated fat. Um, butter was like, oh man, I craved some butter during that pregnancy.

So. That, I think that helped, but I, that's not, that's not like the answer. Um, I think you can do a lot to help. The Lord is, is sovereign and controlling your experiences and with a lot of purpose. I emotionally felt really good that pregnancy. I was so excited and I was just, I had a, a peace in that pregnancy that I knew that the Lord was going to look after us.

Um, And I was diving into the Bible daily and it was really, it was really wonderful. I felt a huge connection with the Lord during that time, with my baby during that time, um, with my older daughter and my husband. Um, so [00:39:00] when I was, let me think, I was like 38 and a half weeks, I kind of started having some like pro drama labor.

And I remember seeing my midwife and she, she had come to my house for an appointment. She was like, yeah, I don't, you know, I don't think that I, I don't, I'll end up coming for your next appointment. Like I think I'll be seeing you before then. And she was like, just stay home and rest. And I was still working, but my position was different where I, I kind of make my own schedule.

Um, could, could work from home when I wanted. And, um, I, so I'm in the construction industry and so is her husband. So she told me that I'm like, I think that was a Tuesday. She was just stay home and rest. Cause I was already starting to have. Contractions that just weren't going anywhere and that Friday, I had to go to a job site and my husband actually went with me, [00:40:00] um, to do some of the work that needed to be done there and we're driving down the road and I pull into the job site and she's like at the house next door.

Like, oh, hey, I'm, I'm gonna rest after this. Um, sorry about that. Because I actually work with her husband. Um, so.

Kayla: Did you know that before she was your midwife? Like, when did you find that out in the process?

Jennifer: No, I found that out. It was like, I think after our first like official appointment, um, she had said something about like finding her on Facebook and I found her on Facebook and then I saw her maiden name and I was like, huh?

And then I just, cause I actually also work with her dad, his, his company. And so I just, I just put the pieces together. Cause I knew that the, her last name was his last name, obviously. And then I saw her main name and I was like, oh wait. And so I just kind of put the pieces together and then I. I mentioned it to her.

I was like, yeah, your dad's actually building my mom's house right now. Cause my mom was moving to the [00:41:00] area. Um, and I had chosen that builder to do my mom's house. So anyways, that was just kind of a unique situation where I was like, I, I actually know a lot about you. I work with your husband and I work with your parents.

So that was cool. But anyway, so I see you're in the job site. I was like, I'm, I promise after this, I'm going to go home and rest. And there was a snow storm coming that weekend.

Kayla: What year are we in now? 2021. This was

Jennifer: January 20,

Kayla: 22.

Jennifer: And we were just kind of keeping an eye on the weather and I just kept having these like kind of prodromal labor contractions.

And, um, I was honestly, I was totally fine. I was like, so chill about it. My boss like delivered firewood, firewood to our house and he was like, are you still doing this at home? And I was like, yeah, we got firewood. The power goes out. I was so chill about it. And, um, so. I went into labor, so the snowstorm came, the roads were really icy.

So Saturday night was a snowstorm. [00:42:00] Sunday, I kind of just was waiting, the roads were still really icy. I went into labor that night. And my in laws had actually come into town or stayed at a hotel because they knew baby was coming soon. They didn't want to have to drive from Asheville with the roads being bad.

So they'd just been hunkering down at a hotel. No one lost power, which is great. So when I went into labor, my husband and I, we actually, like, stayed up and watched a movie, which we never do. And during the movie, I was like, I think these are getting consistent, and I think they're kind of picking up. And so I started timing.

We finished the movie and he was like, I'm going to go to bed. And I was like, would you mind finishing cleaning the kitchen? And he was like, are you in labor? And I was like, yeah, I think so. So, um, I was, I called my midwife just to tell her not to have her come, but around like 1230, then it just kept laboring.

Um, of course she [00:43:00] told me to like get in the tub, see if it slowed down. It honestly didn't really do anything. Um, but I think that's because I was, you know, not, not quite there yet where it would speed things up. And when I called her, I told her, I was like, listen, we're prepared to do this ourselves. Um, I was like, cause the roads were so bad and she'll tell you, like the roads were really bad.

And, um. Thank goodness, her vehicle at the time was an FJ, right? Um, but yeah, they were bad. Um, there was a lot of sliding to get to her house, but everyone made it. And I had called my sister and my mom who I had invited to be there as well as my mother in law. And I was like, you guys don't, don't come like, just stay safe.

Stay at home. We'll be okay. And I was like, telling my husband, I was like, yeah, I mean, we were talking through the things that he would have to do. Um, if the midwives didn't come. And so when I called the midwife, I was like, yeah, Elijah's just back there. Like, you know, he's just praying, preparing for this to do it by herself.

But she came, [00:44:00] everyone came, they all made it safely. Um, a lot of sliding to get there when they made it that labor kind of, again, when I started timing was like 11 o'clock called at 1230. the night. I don't remember exactly when everyone got there. I think it was like maybe around five or six when like the midwife team showed up and yeah, we got the pool set up in our bedroom.

We had a really hard time. Getting it filled because we were in this little rental house at the time. Hot water heater was not cutting it. It was like, so cold outside. And so we were boiling pots, um, and bringing them and dumping them in. And I didn't really have any big stock pots at the time. So. Yeah, my mom and, um, the like assistant midwife were just on pot duty, just running, trying to get the tub because it kind of like reached a point where it just kind of went quickly.

Like transition went really quickly for me because she checked me and it was not [00:45:00] long before I was pushing. And when she checked me, I think I was like a seven. So that labor went really great. I, my happy spot was just being on the ball. The yoga ball, just sitting there and I focused on making sure that I was not tense in my body.

And I did that by making sure my cheeks and my hands were not tense. And I had heard that in a podcast. I binge podcast before this labor and that made a huge difference. So I was purposely lifting my hands, like opening my hands up, palms up. And I was welcoming every contraction with prayer, and I was thanking the Lord for every contraction, and that it was bringing my baby closer to me.

And, like, my laboring was just, it was wonderful. I was just in a state of worship all during that, and there's just all the pictures. I'm just on the ball with my hands up. And, [00:46:00] um, I made sure not to clench my fists or my cheeks, and that helped me so much. And then the midwife was like, okay, I think you need to like, go ahead and like get off the ball.

So I like got off the ball. I got onto the bed on all fours because at this point it was like baby's coming soon. The tub was not ready. It was not hot enough. And so I got onto the bed. And I instantly got like very nauseous. Um, and they're like waving oils under my nose, like trying to help me, but I just needed, I needed to throw up.

And so I did. And then after I threw up, I was ready to push. Like, It was like I skipped transition. Like that was, it just sent the baby down. Like she was just ready to come out. We were having another girl, which we did know. Um, so after I threw up, I instantly needed to push. And I was like, can I get in the water, please?

Like, please. And they felt it and you could tell they weren't thrilled with the temperature, but they were like, okay, come on. And I like [00:47:00] lurched, they were like trying to help me. And I was just like, I lurched into the tub. And the only. Kind of moments where I fell a little out of control and a little panicky was right then, like, as I lurched into the tub in that first, because I was like, I have to push, like, I was already feeling fetal ejection.

And I had this very long break, because I basically got in the tub, like, during a contraction, and I had this very long break between that contraction and the next contraction. And during that break, I was just leaned over the side of the tub and I was praying like, Lord, give me the strength. And I was just kind of like giving myself a pep talk and just getting back into that state of calmness, controlling myself.

And I was like, you're, you're doing this. You're going to push out your baby. You're, you're here. Um, And so the next contraction came and I pushed and her head came out and then I pushed again and her body came out [00:48:00] and I just lifted her up to my chest and I just laid back on the tub. And I was just, I was shocked.

Cause again, my first was an hour of pushing. I, it had been two pushes, one contraction and she was out and she was just there on my chest. She was kind of crying a little bit. She was perfectly fine. It. And I had expressed to my midwife during my pregnancy, my, what happened with the hemorrhaging right after with my first.

And once a little bit of blood started coming out, she leaned out and she was like, she was like, that's perfectly normal. Like you're, you're doing great. And she knew that I needed to hear that. Um, And so, yeah, we just sat there in the water and they ushered us out kind of quickly because again, the water wasn't quite as warm as we would have wanted.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, but honestly, it felt great to me. I didn't care. I was just so happy in the water. I loved the water for that. Um, and. It was great. My [00:49:00] mother in law and my mother were there and I was so pleased to have gotten that they got to experience that. I loved that they were there. They had both had very medicalized births.

But they were really happy I was having a home birth. My mother in law's a nurse, and through COVID she was like, Don't go to the hospital. Like, don't go to the hospital. And my parents were very supportive of it. Um, and I was just, I was so grateful they got to see that. And now my mom is like the biggest home birth advocate.

And my mother in law too, like they're telling everyone about it. So that was great. Everyone was there and we just curl up in bed and then my older daughter comes in and meets her, her little sister and, and yeah, and it was great. And my postpartum was.

She had a little bit of a tongue tie, so I was a little bit nervous, but no pain on me. [00:50:00] She gained weight like a champ before we knew it. She was like the chunkiest baby I've ever seen. Um, It was great. It was absolutely wonderful. I had only had like an eight month experience breastfeeding with my first daughter and we'd honestly started supplementing way earlier than that.

Um, and I was able to go two years with my second and that was so redemptive. So yeah, I was like at that point, I was like, I'm, I'm hooked on home birth for sure.

Kayla: Hooked on home birth.

Jennifer: Yeah. That reminds

Kayla: me, I'm hooked on phonics. Were you, was that in your age range? I can't remember how old you are. How old are you, Jennifer?

Jennifer: I am 27.

Kayla: Okay, so probably not. Yeah, I feel

Jennifer: like I've heard that before, but it doesn't really ring a bell to me. That's

Kayla: okay, that's

Jennifer: okay.

Kayla: Aw, well, I loved hearing that whole story. That is so special, and I know, like, The redemptiveness of that for you, like just hearing it in your voice and seeing it in your face and just, uh, and I was getting goosebumps [00:51:00] at different points in your story and I just, it's like, it's hard for me not to interrupt and be like, Oh my gosh, that's amazing.

But at the same time, like, Just like sitting here so excited So now you're hooked on home birth and you want to have all these babies So in just recently well ish recently ish you had baby number three.

Jennifer: Yes So we decided we wanted to have another baby. Um And when we made that decision We we again it was a very casual like we're just gonna stop preventing and then we'll see what happens And I don't know why but I thought that it wouldn't happen right away again You I did not expect it to happen right away because again, it was where there was no trying.

It was just a casual like, well, just that's what happens. Um, and we got pregnant right away again, to be honest, I struggled with that a little bit and that was kind of hard for me to say out loud because. Um, it seems wrong because it's, it's a baby that [00:52:00] I wanted that I should just be thrilled, but our family had had some, we'd gone through some really hard things.

My older daughter was, had been sick and we had gone through like a really challenging season the last like couple of years. With that, it's like the last year and a half. And so I don't know, I struggled with it happening so quick because we were going to have to make some changes in regards to like work.

Our families have to make some changes and I was like, okay, we're the clock is ticking. Like, we've got to make, we've got to make those changes. We've got to figure this out. And so, um, I was obviously thrilled. He was thrilled, but I, I definitely struggle with like, Well, this happened quicker than I thought.

Again, I don't know why I, I thought that it would happen, but it didn't. So, um, but I was very excited to have another baby and we decided that we weren't going to find out the gender this time, which was really fun. We always said we would do that with our third. I really enjoyed that. So [00:53:00] we didn't find out.

And of course we went with the same midwife that I had had the previous time. So this pregnancy physically was good. I, I had a little bit of like nausea that first trimester, but it wasn't bad. It was like not as bad as the first time, even though the first time wasn't bad, but no throwing up, just a little bit nausea.

And, but I definitely struggled with just, I didn't have this like, insane sense of peace that I'd had with my last pregnancy. Um, and I wanted that so badly, but I just didn't have that. And that was a little bit hard. I kept, um, and because of that, I, I was, I was more distant from the Lord than I had been like with my previous pregnancy.

And ultimately that was just, a lack of me not surrendering and not trusting him. But yeah, overall, the pregnancy was good. We were planning a home birth. Before we got pregnant, we had, um, already booked, paid for an [00:54:00] Airbnb for, in Aiken, South Carolina, um, or, um, to stay at to go to the Masters Golf Tournament, which my family goes every year.

We have tickets. Um, it's a family tradition. And so, we were gonna go, but I realized that my due date put me being, like, 38 weeks. Um, so, like, I think I was turning 38 weeks the Sunday, like, Master Sunday. And I had actually, my due date had, like, moved up a week. So, I had originally calculated it as May 5th.

And then, when I got an ultrasound, um, It moved it a week earlier. So that's when I was like, Oh, cause I was originally thinking 37 weeks. Isn't too bad. But then I was like, Oh, 38 weeks. Like, Ooh, that's a little close, but I had had such an incredible experience the 1st time around and I knew my whole family was going to be there and I knew the learners in control.

So I was like. I'm still going to go and we'll see what [00:55:00] happens. And we took all of our birth supplies, so we didn't take the tub, but we took everything else. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, just in case. Um, and it was so funny, like. I was like, I'm not going to go, like, I was like, I'm going to go into the tournament, but I'm not really going to walk, ended up walking like almost the whole course.

Um, and I was just getting these looks, like people are looking at me like, what? So I was very pregnant. I had already dropped. I was having progeromal labor. I started having what felt like very, very real contractions the Friday before we left. And they went away after I did the mile circuit. During the mile circuit, I had extremely intense contractions.

But then they went away after. That was confusing. And then they kind of came back. They came back, like, after we got to South Carolina. We got into the Airbnb. They came back that night. But then they, like, just kept going away. And these contractions, they felt [00:56:00] the exact same as labor contractions. So when I went into labor, they were the same.

The only reason I knew it was labor was because they were picking up and they were more consistent. So I had several weeks of, of that. So we went to the masters, we came back. I just, I kept having prodromal labor and I just, I just kept waiting. I just kept waiting for baby to come. And I was expecting that I would go in my 39 week.

Um, because that's when my other two babies come. They come in the 39 week. Um, so 39 weeks comes and goes. No, baby, and then already comes and goes, no, baby, that's hard when you're the first two times. Yeah. And so, and I, again, I had like been prepared, like. We had taken all the birth supplies to the masters, which was like 37, 38 weeks.

Um, so [00:57:00] I had just been, we come home here to reset everything up, blown up the birth. The birth pool been blown up for days. My kids have been like playing in it and or for weeks, actually. And so. The Sunday of 41 weeks, I told my husband, I was like, I'm not going to go to church today. I was like, I just, once you hit that 41 week mark, people are like, what are you still doing here?

Lots of

Kayla: comments. Yeah. Yes.

Jennifer: So I was like, I'm not going to go to church. I was having progenital labor. I had been having it for days and the day before, so two days before she was born, three technically, I had just insane pressure. I'm so low. I feel like I could barely walk. So I stayed home, I was like making some bread and some tea and then, um, that evening I like thoroughly cleaned the kitchen.

Like I was like really wanting to get that kitchen clean. I was doing the dishes, we had just gotten the kids to bed [00:58:00] and I felt some water. And I was, I was like, okay, but maybe I just peed myself a little bit. And then I felt a pop and then I felt a gush, which was really cool because I, what I was feeling was both water sacks.

I felt the first one, the little bit of water. And the pop and then so, and again, I had been having contractions, but I had been having them for days. And so I told my husband, I was like, my water broke and I called, called my sister. I called the midwife. She actually, I texted her and then she called me and she was like, actually driving back from her mom's house, which was closer to me than her house.

And so she was like, trying to decide if she should come straight to me or go home. So she ended up going home and then her husband was like, no, you need to get there. Like, um, so she ended up coming back and then going back to her mom's house and then stayed sleeping there until I called her. So I had a really hard time [00:59:00] right off the bat gauging where I was at in labor.

The first couple of contractions felt the same as they had been. And then they started to pick up in intensity. The time pretty much stayed the same, but they started to pick up an intensity. And I was like, this is going to go quicker than Mia is my second. I was like, this is going to go quicker. And then it didn't, it was like, they picked up an intensity and then they just kind of.

It was slowly creeping up in intensity and time, but I would, I was tracking it on one of those apps and my times were so strange. I would have four, like two minute aparts and then I would have like eight or 10 minute apart. And. I was very, I, I just, I was having a really hard time gauging. So I called my sister and I was like, listen, it's too early for you to come, but can you come, I need someone to help me gauge when to call.

Cause I was like, I, I'm really having a hard time gauging this. And so she, she went ahead and [01:00:00] came and then my mom went ahead and came. So it was like eight o'clock, my water broke. And I think they came. Around two or three. So she was there and like, we woke my husband up. Cause again, he was like, I'm going to sleep, which was great.

I was happy. He got that sleep. So we woke him up and then we kind of started setting things up more. And I was vocalizing. I was, I was on the ball in that same position that I knew I liked hands up on the ball. And it just, again, my contractions were so. So, my sister, once I started really vocalizing, she went ahead and called the midwife and the birth photographer.

And, they got there, and then we woke up my older daughter because she really wanted to watch the baby be born. Um, so we brought her in, and, Around the time the midwife got there, my labor just completely stalled, and I was pretty much like, not having, like, real contractions [01:01:00] anymore. I was having these little, like, half contractions.

Like, it was like, they would start, and then it was like, they wouldn't stop. And they were just like little half contractions and every now and then like maybe one out of every five, I would have like a full contraction and I had been having little half contractions from the very beginning of my labor, but all of a sudden it was like every single one and they had been just like kind of every one and eight, like at the beginning of the labor and it all of a sudden it was every single one.

Kayla: So what time is it at this point? So

Jennifer: five, five something. Yeah. Um, originally I had told a friend when I first went to labor, I was like, yeah, Baker will be here by like two or three. And here we are. And it was like five and I was having these little half contractions and I was so frustrated. Um, cause I kept changing positions and doing different things in trying to get a real contraction.

Like I wanted to feel that peak. Um, I just couldn't get. [01:02:00] It felt like, like, in my head, I kept thinking it's like those little birthday candles where you, you blow them and they just keep coming back. It was like, I just could not get there. And so I told my sister, I was like, cause everyone knew that I was, I was stalled and it was just not being very nice.

And I told my sister, maybe let's try sending everyone out of the room and I'll just labor alone. Maybe that's cause there was a lot of people there. We had like the photographer. My mom, my sister, um, a good friend, my husband, um, midwife, midwife assistant. And so we send everyone out and the midwife is like, how about you go sit on the toilet alone with your husband?

And so we go into the bath, just him and I, and the toilet helped a little bit, but it was still, they were like not half contractions. They were like three quarter contractions, but I could tell they still were not full contractions what they should have been. So then we come back in and she was like to the bedroom and she was like, I think.

It would be helpful if I checked [01:03:00] you and I could see where you're at and maybe see what's going on. And maybe we decide if we want to, like. Do some different positions and try to speed things up, or you just kind of rest. And in my head I'm thinking like, there's no way I can rest. Cause it was, even though they weren't full contractions, they were back to back.

There was like no break, because my body was trying to have a real contraction. So there was no break, so I was exhausted, and I was like anticipating a real contraction, and it wasn't coming. And I had not slept good the night before, cause I had been having prodromal labor at night. For like weeks leading up like it wasn't the most intense at night.

I was very tired. And, um, so she told me that and I, I just really didn't want to be checked. I just like was like, I don't, I don't need to be checked. So I just kind of was like, okay, but then I just kind of kept laboring and didn't didn't do anything. And then I looked, I looked out the window, and I saw the light coming in and I was like, oh, I did not think I would be giving birth.

Like the next [01:04:00] day, like in the daylight. So I was like, okay, all right, you can check me. So she checked me and of course she didn't tell me the number. Um, and she said, okay, I want you to do some very specific positions. And so she had me use the rebozo, um, band and like pull up on my belly standing. And then she had me do the position where the husband's in the chair, and you're in a squat, and you're leaning back, putting all your weight into them.

But she also wanted me to pull up on the ribbon. So the same time. And I did it, but like, wasn't really pulling that hard. And then she was like, no, I really want you to pull. So then I had a contraction where I was really pulling and I was really leaning back and like, it was a full contraction, this, okay, yeah, we're back on track.

And that was so exciting for me. Um, and so. [01:05:00] That after that I was in labor. I was really in labor. I was feeling full contractions. I was ready to go I was very tired, but I knew that things were moving So I then labored just kind of standing up and then not long after that. I like got in the tub I labored in the tub for a little while, it was like maybe 30 minutes, and then I started feeling the urge to push.

I kind of couldn't get into a good position that I liked for pushing, so I kind of struggled with that. And they kept encouraging me to be upright, um, as much as possible. Not bent over, but like as upright as possible. I later understood why, but, um, they have encouraged me to be upright. I just struggled to get a position.

I finally did. Um, and I ended up kind of being bent over cause that was just what felt the best for me. And I pushed her out. I think it was a couple of pushes. Um, It was one contraction though. Um, my [01:06:00] husband, I wanted him to catch her. And at this point we didn't know it was her. So he did the cord. She was wearing the cord, like a scarf.

So her head comes out and, um, and I kind of heard some like motion behind me and he just very instinctually like undid the cord from, from her neck. And then, um, and then they're like, okay, you can push again. Cause they told me not to push until they got that. And so they're like pushing in and so he, he caught her and then I brought her to my chest and my daughter was there and she was so excited.

Like there's all these pictures of her just like hugging me and like, um, and she's just so excited. And. And yeah, and I finally, I finally got her out and, and we just sat there soaking it up in the water and, um, and it was wonderful. It was wonderful. We crawled into the bed and, um, and she nursed right away.

She was, like, ready to nurse. She was very, she came out hungry. So we nursed and she did great. I had [01:07:00] to do some, like, Some thinking about what I I didn't understand what it happened and like why it stalled out.

Kayla: What do you think it was? physically that was Stalling out your labor and or what do you think it was?

Like mentally or spiritually that was stalling your labor.

Jennifer: So I do think there was components of both. Um, I felt really good when I went into labor and some of that worry that I experienced during my pregnancy, it just melted away when I went to labor. I was so excited. But then as things started to slow down, it crept back and we know like that, that doesn't help anything.

And on the physical side, yeah. I had to chat through with my midwife, like, what was going on. So I did that when she came back a couple days later. My sister had told me that when she checked me, I, and she had checked me, I think it was like around [01:08:00] 6, 37. I had been a 6. And I had been laboring for like 10 hours at this point, which is like pretty much, Or actually, no, I think I've been laboring longer because by the time she checked me, I'd never even been in labor that long with my previous two.

So I, um, if she had told me six, I would have been devastated. And when she checked me though, and she had to explain this to me, like a couple of days later, I was like, what, what, what happened? Like what, what was going So when she checked me She reached up and she said it would have felt like maybe to someone who wasn't experienced, it would have felt like I was fully dilated because she felt like no, no cervix, like there was no service and it would have felt like I was fully dilated, but actually she had to reach up behind her head to find my cervix.

So it was a pendulous, [01:09:00] um, basically her head had dropped down and completely missed my cervix. So

Kayla: her head

Jennifer: was in front of my cervix. So cervix, her head's here rather than here. Yeah. And so that's why I was not progressing because there was no pressure directly on my cervix to progress.

Mm hmm.

Jennifer: And that is why, because I was bent over and that was not helping.

Like I had to The lift her up and lean me back and that was the combination that got her back on my cervix. And after that, it went very quickly. So when she explained that to me, it made so much sense. And she was like, she was like, yeah, this is something that like, you know, in a situation like this, when I see it selling out, like it is really helpful to check.

And in my mind, I always just thought you check and it's just a number. And that's why I didn't really want to be checked because I was like, it's not going to help. But she was able to tell so much more from that check. And she was able to [01:10:00] know baby was not lined up, and baby was not going to come if she wasn't lined up with my cervix.

And it was very humbling, and I'm so grateful for her. Because I was not thinking about that. I was not in a headspace to think about that. And if I had been in a different setting with a different care provider, I do believe I would have ended up with a c section because I was mentally very frustrated and doubting everything and I needed someone to tell me exactly what to do and what position to get in and how to hold it and that was what I needed in order to progress.

And I think it would have been very easy for someone to say, Oh, you're stalling because I have installed for hours at this point. I would have gotten Pitocin. It would have put her in distress because again, there was nowhere for her to go. Um, she completely missed the cervix. So I'm very, very grateful that I was at home because I think I just, I can't see [01:11:00] how it would not have gone in a different direction if I had not been at home.

So I'm like, it was very humbling. And it was such a reminder, the Lord, he puts people into our lives to help us, um, when we need it. And I was dependent on her and that labor and I was dependent on my husband. I really needed like his presence and him there. Um, like, he'd like, step away and be like, no, come back.

So, um. Yeah, so that, that was the physical side. I, I think the doubt that crept into my mind was also not helping. Um, but wow, it was so beautiful to see how the Lord used the people in that room to, to bring, to bring her here. So, and my husband delivered her and saw that it was a girl. And as he was handing her to me, he was like, she's here.

And, um, and that was sweet. And we're like, you have a, you have another little sister. So yes, that was our third daughter, Laurel's birth.

Kayla: Oh, was your oldest excited that it was a girl?

Jennifer: Oh, yeah. I mean, she had [01:12:00] said that she wanted a boy, but also she just loves babies and she loves already having a little sister.

So she was excited. She didn't care. And we, we felt the same way. So

Kayla: has she been a little mama ever since?

Jennifer: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She, whenever Laura will get like fussy and I'm trying to cook. We're like, go, go serenade Laurel and she'll just go over there and, like, softly bounce her in the bouncer and sing to her and sometimes Laurel will literally just look at her and smile and, like, fall asleep, like, listening to her sing.

It's, it's precious. Aww. She's great, yeah. That is so sweet.

Kayla: So how has your, um, breastfeeding journey been with Laurel then?

Jennifer: It has been good. It has not been as smooth as the last time because she has a tongue tie too and it's, it's definitely tighter than our second daughters, but I was not sore and she's been gaining weight.

And so we decided not to have it clipped, um, but it's just been working through it and things are getting better. Um, but I just have to be super [01:13:00] diligent with, um, the positions that I nurse her in and, um, getting good burps out. But overall, it is going great. I kind of compare everything to my. So I'm just, I'm thrilled to be breastfeeding.

I'm thrilled that, that I have the opportunity and, um, and she is a bundle of joy. She's like our smiliest baby yet. So I'm, I'm, I'm soaking it up. So postpartum has been really wonderful.

Kayla: Good. Do you have any advice for moms, anything you would say to moms out there who are expecting maybe whether it's their first, second, third baby, what would you tell them?

Jennifer: So you know, people talk about childbirth being a rite of passage and I didn't understand that until after I had had my second and I had had the experience that I had with my second, which was so empowering. It propelled me into being a [01:14:00] mother of two. And even my experience with my third, that was a very challenging labor.

But that experience, it propelled me into being a mother of three. And the lessons that I learned in each labor, they prepared me for the challenges that I would experience. As being a mother of that child, and when we numb that or when we hand that experience over to someone else, you are losing something that truly was meant to be an experience that you were supposed to experience.

And although I had a natural birth with my first, I was turning that experience over to someone. I was not fully embracing that experience and it really matters. It's the provider you choose and the environment you choose. It really matters. It affects you. It affects the way you mother. And I think it's so easy to just trust someone else and [01:15:00] go into the experience without doing all the research, doing the deep dive, doing all the work.

But it is so worth it to do it. The, the lessons that I learned in my birth with my second daughter, they helped me overcome a lot of hardships that we experienced in that time after she was born with my older daughter being sick. The Lord would use that labor to prepare me for those difficulties that we, that we would experience.

And, and I'm just so grateful for that. And. The, the environment, the care provider, it, it, it really matters. You childbirth, it is a rite of passage and the Lord will use those challenges. And I'm not saying that he doesn't use those challenges, even if they're in a hospital and you have a challenging hospital birth, it doesn't necessarily matter where you choose to birth, but take empowerment for that birth and don't numb out the experience.

And I don't even mean just like an epidural and physically be present. Be there, [01:16:00] experience the intensity, and learn from it. Because the Lord will use that to like, to shape and mold you and refine you into, into a mother.

Kayla: Yeah, absolutely. Well, while you're talking, I was just thinking in regards to what you were saying, I was, I happen to be at a consignment sale earlier with my daughter.

Everything was like a dollar or something, and we were just trying to find some things for my rapidly growing son, um, who's like, just grows out of everything as soon as he's in it. And there are these two women in our aisle, and they were, they were talking about their births and they were both C sections and they were, they were saying things like, Oh, you know, thank God for my C section, and it was just so nice to just have it over and done with.

And. Things like, oh yeah, you know, with my first, I, I did the whole like pitocin and, and then, you know, got my epidural because who wants to feel contractions? And she's like, I should have [01:17:00] just scheduled a C section from the beginning and, and skipped to it. I mean, who would ever want to feel contractions?

feel labor and they were both just like agreeing with each other with that and saying like, oh, yeah, like c section is the way to go. I mean, I'd never had surgery before, but so many women go through it. Like it's fine. And I was like, Lord, what are you telling me to do right now? It's like, because it's so hard for me not to step in and open their eyes and be like, there's another way.

Like there's another way and it's. incredible and amazing. And if you, and if you allow it, you know, to be what God intended it to be, it can change your life like for the better. But then like the other part of me was like, they didn't invite you into this conversation. Do not be one of those people who just jumps in and takes over.

It was so hard, but it's like, that's, that's why I do this podcast. Like conversations like that happening all the time, everywhere where moms are congregating, okay. That's [01:18:00] why I'm trying to get these messages out there that like And i'm not saying that c sections are bad because in the right circumstance We all know that they save lives however We all also know that they're widely overused and overdone And and it's just like I just want women to realize like they have options.

They have choices. They have opportunities to have a different experience than what you know, our mainstream culture says and to experience that oneness and like the peace and surrender that you had with your, your second, like going into the labor, it can be such a spiritual experience too.

Jennifer: Absolutely. I mean, yeah, I've never felt closer with my creator than during labor because I needed him.

I needed him to meet me there with each contraction. And I opened up my hands And he did and he carried me through and it was absolutely a spiritual [01:19:00] experience.

Kayla: Well, I, I appreciate you coming on here so much. It was so great to finally hear your stories because I didn't know. I mean, I knew that you had them naturally and I knew that you had two of them at home, but I didn't, I didn't know how they went down.

So thank you.

Jennifer: Thank you so much for having me. It was so great. It was a great time.

Kayla: Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can reach me at surrendered birth services on Instagram or email me at contact@surrenderedbirthservices.com. Be sure not to miss an episode by hitting the follow button.

Also, we'd love for you to leave a written review of the show so that more people's births and lives can be changed by the love of Jesus and the empowerment of accurate birth education. If you really enjoyed this episode in particular, please take a screenshot of it and post it to your Instagram story tagging Surrendered Birth Services.[01:20:00]

If you would like to be a guest on the Surrendered Birth Stories podcast, Please click the link in the episode show notes to fill out your interest form. Also, if you're interested in taking my childbirth classes, birth consultations, or having me as your birth doula, please click on the link in the show notes to take you to my website for online and in person options.

Just as a reminder, this show is not giving medical advice, so please continue to see your personal care provider as needs arise. We hope you have a great week, and remember, learn all that you can, make the best plans. And then leave it in God's hands.

You are good. Honestly, I prefer someone giving detail over somebody who's just like, yep, and then we went to the hospital and about two hours later, she [01:21:00] was born. Yeah, that's not me. I'm like, okay, we're missing a lot of details in there.