048 - Follow Your Convictions When Choosing A Care Provider (with Carrie Pearce)

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SHOW NOTES:

Were you ever unsatisfied with the care you were receiving during your pregnancy? Did it give you pause when it came to thinking about how the labor would go? Did you think, well, next time I’ll do it differently and switch providers but I’m too far in this time, it’s too late. Why wait for next time? What if there isn't a next time? When Carrie was not happy with her OB at 34 weeks, she switched to a different practice with midwives. Then, did it again a second time, switching from a birth center to a home birth. Come listen to all of Carrie’s stories as she shares her heart and her trust in God along the way!

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Shoot us a DM at @surrenderedbirthservices on Instagram, and give us a follow while you're there!

TRANSCRIPT:

I remember, I was at my 34-week appointment with my OBGYN when he asked if I had any questions since we were getting close to birth, had any questions about birth specifically when I'm in the labor and delivery room, if I had any concerns or anything like that.

And I was like, no, I just want to make sure that everybody's going to be on the same page as me for this natural birth that I'm fighting for.

And he started laughing at me.

Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories.

Birth Stories, birth education, and the pursuit of surrendering it all to God.

Let's get started.

Hi, y'all, hope you are having a great week so far, wherever it is in your week.

I'm recording this on a Sunday, the day before it releases, actually.

And we had a wonderful weekend.

We do a Sabbath for our family for 24 hours, from Friday evening to Saturday evening.

We started off with a Shabbat meal together on Friday night, where, well, in our family, where we have pizza.

But we make challah bread, and we do communion, and we say special blessings over our children, and just kind of start off our time of rest and our time of togetherness with God at the center of it.

And then we usually play a game after dinner.

We go around the table.

We say what everyone's thankful for.

And it's funny because our toddlers are still adjusting.

Well, they've been doing it for a few years, and it's kind of all they've ever known at this point.

But they'll be like, are we having dinner tonight, or are we having Shabbat?

Because they know it's different, that Shabbat is a different type of dinner that we only do once a week.

So it's really cute seeing them catch on to everything.

But we were able to actually go to, here in North Carolina, in Winston-Salem, we went to something called the Caladium this weekend.

We had some free passes thanks to my mother.

And it was really fun.

It was like a combination of a children's museum slash science center, and it opened recently, like a few months ago.

We usually like to do outdoor adventures on the weekend and go hiking or water holes or just whatever.

But it was scattered thunderstorms all day, and so the weather just wasn't going to cooperate with us.

So we did this, and it was so fun.

The kids had a blast, of course.

And we actually, really cool feature.

I had never seen this anywhere before, but they had like a water section where the kids could do like water play, and play with water, and it was really fun.

They had all sorts of different things there that I hadn't seen in other places.

But it was so cool because you could put your baby in this like high chair looking thing at the water table.

So the baby was like surrounded by water and was able to splash and play in the water without really getting soaking wet.

Because they also had little, what do you call them?

Smocks, I guess?

Or like rain cover, I don't know, rain jackets.

I don't know what you want to call them, but things to prevent their clothes from getting soaking wet.

Even though they still got wet, I changed in many ways.

But Indiana had so much fun splashing in the water, and it was just a great time.

Then we came home and had a family movie night, which we tried to do on Saturday nights, and made the kids popcorn, and they all sat on the couch together.

And it was just a great time, a great Sabbath together.

So I hope you guys had a great weekend.

Whenever you are listening to this, we did.

If you haven't given this show a rating or a review or subscribed to it or any of those things, we really would appreciate it if you did.

It's really simple.

You can just click on the little plus button on Apple Podcast to subscribe.

There's just, it used to be like, what did it used to be?

Follow?

I don't know, or maybe.

Hmm, Chris, I'm missing this up.

You know what?

Maybe just cut all that out.

Sorry.

If you have not left a review for this show yet, I would really, really, really, really, really appreciate it.

It's super simple, just go to the show page, wherever you listen to your podcasts, usually on Apple's, where I think most of our listeners are, you just scroll down to where you can see the ratings and reviews, and you simply click write a review, and it'll ask you to rate it too.

But writing those reviews, it really does help this show get in front of more people.

So that is an amazingly free way that you can help us and help this show out and help other parents out by allowing them to see this and then hear these beautiful birth stories.

Now let's get into this week's episode.

Were you ever unsatisfied with the care you were receiving from your provider during your pregnancy?

Did it give you pause when it came to thinking about how your labor would go?

Did you think, well, next time I'll do it differently and switch providers, but I'm too far in this time, it's too late.

Why wait for next time?

What if there isn't a next time?

When Carrie was not happy with her OB at 34 weeks pregnant, she switched to a different practice with midwives.

Then did it again a second time switching from a birth center to a home birth late in the game.

Come listen to all of Carrie's stories as she shares her heart and her trust in God along the way.

Welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories.

I am your host, Kayla Heater, and today I have Carrie with me.

So Carrie, why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself, a little bit about your life, and just to let us get to know you a little bit before we hear your story.

Okay, well, she said I'm Carrie, Carrie Pearce.

I am a mother of four.

Well, I have birthed four of my babies, but my husband has an older son.

He doesn't live with us full time currently.

So we actually have four boys all together.

I've birthed three of them, and we have our one little princess.

Let's see a little bit about me.

I am pretty old fashioned in my way of believing and try to be in my way of living in this modern world.

I guess there's only so much you can do old fashioned wise, and then technology has to step in.

But yeah, I grew up very old fashioned and grew up going to old southern churches way back in the mountains.

My mom's family, they come from a big family.

She has eight brothers and sisters.

She's not the last one, but including her, there's nine of them.

And so they actually sang bluegrass gospel music.

And I grew up traveling to churches and hearing my family sing and hearing about the gospel.

And so that's, you know, I'm safe, truly saved.

And so that's a big part of my motherhood and instilling the gospel in my children's lives.

I would say that's probably, I mean, that's who I am.

Who I am in the Lord.

If he has me to be a mother and a wife.

And, oh yeah, I stay at home and I'm home school.

And I don't know if I'll ever have as big a family as my mom came from.

But right now, I've birthed four.

We have five kids total.

So we're working on our basketball team, I guess.

I was going to say, you're pretty far along in the process, though.

You could get there.

Let's hear how it all started with your first.

How long had y'all been married?

Or what was it like finding out you were pregnant?

Tell us that first pregnancy story.

So at that time in my life, we both worked in the medical field.

So we were both very medically minded.

I did not have the natural, crunchy, quote unquote, crunchy, if you want to call it that, thought process, thought processes that I have now.

I didn't know everything back then that I know now.

However, I did know that I wanted to try for an actual birth.

I didn't know of any home birth midwives.

I didn't know of the birth center that was in Statesville.

So I went to a regular OBGYN, but I went to an OBGYN.

I took, you know, the regular prenatals.

I think I got, like, a Walmart brand at the time that I was taken.

And I just, I didn't, like, dive headfirst into the natural world, but I was kind of exploring it and having an actual birth in the hospital setting.

And I took a couple of the hospital classes for natural birth.

And if I'm going to be honest, I didn't know any better at the time.

And I thought they were wonderful.

And they were going to help me and prepare me for this natural birth that I was going to try and have in a hospital setting.

And now that I know better, to be quite honest, the hospital classes that they give for that are just, they're just not it.

So anyway, I remember I was at my 34-week appointment with my OBGYN when he asked if I had any questions since we were getting close to birth, had any questions about birth specifically when I'm in the labor and delivery room, if I had any concerns or anything like that.

And I was like, no, I just want to make sure that everybody's going to be on the same page as me for this natural birth that I'm fighting for.

And he started laughing at me.

And he was like, natural birth.

He's like, well, I'm just going to go ahead and tell you, I talked to a lot of moms and they plan for a natural birth, and it just doesn't work out that way for them.

But if that's what you want to go for, that's okay.

We'll try for it.

And so when I heard him say that to me like that, that was a huge red flag.

Well, they're not going to be in my corner when push comes to shove.

And I hit that transition phase, and I'm asking for an epidural when I need somebody who's going to be encouraging me for what I've wanted all along and helping me push through.

So at 34 weeks, I switched to a midwifery practice that was through Novant at the time.

They're no longer with Novant, but they delivered at First Life Hospital still.

I switched to them and they were great.

I really liked them, but I'll just say that for me personally, I see a big difference in midwives who practice in the hospital versus midwives who practice home birth.

And even midwives who practice in a birthing center type setting, because my second birth would go on to almost be in the birthing center.

So I feel like I've been through all of them, like the hospital birth, the birthing center, and then the home birth, which I will eventually get to.

But anyways, I birthed at Forsyth Hospital with the midwives there.

They were wonderful, but I was just not prepared enough to have the natural birth that I wanted.

I was a first-time mom.

My labor lasted for 22 hours.

Two of those hours was me pushing, and then he finally came out.

So, they check you a lot in the hospital setting.

And obviously, you can turn that down if you want.

But again, I didn't know back then as much as I know now.

And I was hooked up to IV antibiotics because I tested positive for that group, Strep B.

And when I'm going through this labor and being a first-time mom, I wasn't thinking about how I can still get up and be moving around with my IV full.

I'll go ahead and preface this and say that the hospital experience was not horrible.

It wasn't horrible.

I really cherished the time that we had there.

I was my first born, my first labor, birth, all those things.

But I did get there.

They hooked me up to the IV fluids.

The nurse ran a whole entire bag of fluids through me, and none of the antibiotic even went in.

So she had to come back in, re-hook me back up to the IV fluids.

This was in the middle of the night, so I wasn't really paying attention to the pump and what was going on.

I was trying to get rest while I was in the early stages of labor, and a whole second bag of fluids went in me, and the antibiotics still hadn't gone through.

And so at the hospital, they're just trying to get these antibiotics in because they don't know when you're going to birth the baby, and they want the antibiotics in four hours prior to birthing the baby, or that was protocol eight years ago.

I don't know what it is now.

But anyway, so that was just kind of rough.

It made me very, very swollen.

I was already swollen from the pressure of baby coming down, but then I was pumped full of fluids, two whole bags plus another third bag by the time they finally got the antibiotics in me.

And I was just very swollen all over.

And so I wasn't up moving around.

I wasn't thinking about that during that time.

And had I been, maybe I could have pushed through for my natural labor.

I'm not really sure.

There was just kind of events that led up to it not working out with the fluids and being hooked up to the IV.

And then them checking me, and they told me obviously what I was dilated to.

And dilation is just a number which a lot of people know, but then a lot of people listening to your podcast may not know.

And I'll go on to talk about this later with my last birth and how what I was dilated to.

Well, we'll just get there in a minute.

But they told me what I was dilated to.

And I had been laboring for 11 hours at that point and was only dilated to a five.

And I was, it totally bummed me out when I heard that number.

And at that point, I started getting the shakes.

I could not, I tried to stand up to go to the bathroom.

And the pain was so bad that like, I pretty much fell into my husband's arms.

And when I tried to stand up, I was shaking uncontrollably.

And so now looking back on it, I might have been in transition even though I was only dilated to five, because I hit that point of, I can't do this anymore.

I don't want to feel this pain anymore.

This is unbearable.

I'm shaking.

I can't even stand up.

And, you know, had I just stuck through a little bit longer, maybe I would have started to dilate very quickly.

And who knows what would have ended up happening.

But I got the epidural after 11 hours.

And then Percy did to lay on a bed with an epidural for nine more hours and then push for two.

So that's how that experience went with my first.

I'm assuming you didn't have a doula there or anything like that.

No, it was just my husband.

And he, I mean, he did what he could at the time with, you know, trying to encourage me like, you know, honey, this is not what you wanted.

We've talked about this before.

Maybe he even mentioned, like, maybe you're in transition right now, even though you're only dilated to a five.

But in the middle of all of that pain and also being in the hospital setting and mentally knowing that an epidural was at my grasp, it was just I hadn't mentally prepared for that marathon.

It was a big mind game.

It is.

Birth is a big mind game.

It sure is.

So how did your postpartum go with him then?

How did breastfeeding go?

Postpartum went great.

Breastfeeding was good.

I always have an overproduction of milk and a very overactive letdown too.

It just kind of sprays out and would spray in their face.

And it was worse with my first with Grant.

And so along with trying to figure out breastfeeding, I was also having to figure out him and how it was best for him to eat and how are we going to work through him basically like guzzling milk down and choking.

And I ended up having to breastfeed him in the sideline position, like until I stopped breastfeeding him because he got so used to it.

That's how he wanted to be breastfed off the top.

So anyways, we've learned from that and the rest of my breastfeeding journey with my others are like, it's been night and day difference and has all been great.

Well, that's good.

So that was your first and, you know, that was eight years ago.

So how long of a gap was there between your first and your second?

So it was in 2020 when COVID hit.

And we had started talking about it.

So my first son is actually diagnosed with something called optic nerve hypoplasia.

His optic nerves are very severely underdeveloped.

And at three months of age, he could not see anything.

He was totally blind.

He didn't even respond to direct sunlight being shown in his eyes, whereas we automatically squint.

So he didn't see anything.

But over time, his vision developed.

However, at that time, we didn't know what his future was going to be like.

And even at one, two years old, he's still just a toddler and really learning to talk.

And so it was hard.

I mean, he couldn't really.

And to him, what he sees is normal to him.

So to get him to verbalize what he's seeing, what he's not seeing, really just he wasn't verbalizing it.

We had to learn him by just observing him.

So we put it off having another child for several years because we didn't know what his future was going to be like.

But then when he hit four, we realized that, OK, like he has a lot more vision than what the doctors said he was going to end up having, which is completely the Lord.

He had so many people praying for him.

And the Lord truly heard my prayers when I first found out about his diagnosis and what I prayed for in that parking lot, getting in my car to drive home after that.

But then 2020, four years later, we started talking about having another child.

And I was getting my body ready for it.

I was eating very clean.

I had started taking beef liver.

And I was so much more down the road in my journey of natural living.

And then COVID came about, and all these things just started coming out about our government.

And I mean, I've never been one to really trust the government, but a lot of stuff started coming out.

And I was like, whoa.

And then all of the raids that were happening all over, and people just seemed to be going crazy in the world.

I mean, everybody felt it.

Everybody saw what was going on.

Just seemed like the world was just being tipped upside down.

And so that scared me half to death to bring another child into that craziness.

And so I talked myself out of it.

And I was like, there's no way I can bring another child into this crazy world.

Like, I don't, I can't do that to them as much as I want another baby.

Like they don't deserve to be exposed to all of this.

And that's when the Lord stepped in and said, but you're not in charge of this.

I am in charge, and I am the same today as I was yesterday, as I was four years ago when you had your first child, as I was from the beginning of the world.

I have you and I, and it's going to make me emotional, but I have you and I have your children in the palm of my hands.

And they will be protected no matter what this world is like.

You just have to do your best to mother them how I want you to mother your children.

So we had stopped trying, and then I unexpectedly got pregnant with our girl.

And it was so we didn't find out her gender at the anatomy scan.

We waited to have like the little popper things the following weekend with our family.

And it was just the best thing ever.

It was the best surprise.

And doing it that way with our family at the farm, it was so fun.

And I watched that video still and just relived that moment over and over, finding out that we're going to have a girl.

Because I was just so convinced we were going to have another boy.

Because like I said, Josh had already had his first boy.

He has a wild past, but thankfully, he no longer lives his life that way.

But that's how that happened with his first son.

And then he grew up and calmed down and settled down with me.

And we built our family.

But anyway, so with him having his first boy, and then we had another boy, I just totally expected us to keep on having boys.

But then we were pregnant with our daughter.

And then she was the one that was going to be at the birth center.

So obviously, your first was in the hospital, but this is several years later.

And you have journeyed down that natural road and done a lot more research and learned a lot more about holistic living.

So then, I'm assuming you went to seek out the birth center that time instead of the hospital.

Yes, I again still didn't know of any home birth midwives at the time, because that's what I told Josh.

I was like, you know, why my husband's name is Josh.

I said I'd really like to have a home birth, but I know that technically, it's illegal in North Carolina to have a home birth.

I guess it's by CPMs.

Is that correct?

Correct.

So it's, well, it's legal for anyone to have a home birth in North Carolina.

It's totally, you can have your baby wherever you want.

It is only illegal for a CPM, a certified professional midwife, to attend your birth.

So it's illegal for them because they're technically not licensed in the state.

However, a certified nurse midwife who is licensed in the state could attend your home birth legally.

But we get the whole like it's illegal to home birth in North Carolina because I do believe most home births that take place are with CPMs.

Yes, and you know, we all think that that is absolutely silly.

Ridiculous, yes.

Especially because they are licensed in all of the states surrounding North Carolina.

So.

And North Carolina being, it's like the total opposite of the state of California, and it's even legal in California for CPMs to practice.

It's so.

It's backwards and upside down for sure, and it's all politics and money and red tape and financially driven.

But regardless, you didn't know that you could home birth in North Carolina yet, so you went throughout of a birth center.

Right, I did.

I went through the birth center and again loved them.

I had a great experience with every midwife that I had met there.

I'm going to be honest here, and there might be some listeners who will think I'm a little out there for thinking this, or there might be most listeners who are totally on board with me with this.

But when it came time, I was 36 weeks pregnant, and the COVID vaccine came out, and there was so much information going on in the internet world about its shedding and what the effects were of its shedding.

And I'd heard so many stories about mothers who had gotten the COVID vaccine, having still births, and stories about women who hadn't even gotten the vaccine, but were around people who had and started having complications in their birth.

And I didn't know what was true, what wasn't true about any of it.

All I know is it just made me very nervous.

And so at my 36-week appointment, the assistant, I can't even remember what her name was, that brought me into the room, checked your vitals and all of that before the midwife come in.

We got to talking about it.

And she was like, well, because of HIPAA, I obviously can't say who is vaccinated in this office and who isn't, but I can tell you that there are some.

And you don't know who is going to attend your birth, who has or hasn't been vaccinated.

And she was like, if that's going to be a really big concern for you or is really going to be on your mind while you're laboring, that's something that you might want to think about, because if you're so worried about that, it could stall your labor.

And so I hadn't gave that a thought about it stalling my labor.

I honestly had just hoped that someone might slip up some information to me and let me know who was vaccinated and who wasn't, so I could have that peace of mind of who was in the room with me.

And again, like I had met all of these people and they were all wonderful people, but it was just the vaccine itself and the unknowing, because of all the misinformation and true information going around about this vaccine.

I didn't know what was what.

So she was like, we were talking more and more about it.

She said, have you ever thought about having a home birth?

And I said, yes, absolutely.

Me and my husband actually talked about it when I first got pregnant, but I don't know of any home birth midwives.

And so this was the next best thing was to do it at a birthing center.

And she said, well, I actually know some home birth midwives.

One of them who I have helped several times with, she said, I can get in touch with them and see how they feel about this.

And I honestly can't even remember the owner's names, the two midwives who own the birthing center in Statesville anymore.

But she said she was going to speak with them about it.

That's Nicole and Marcia.

Yes.

I've never met them.

I never met them.

Oh, really?

I've heard a lot about them.

They're wonderful.

Nicole delivered my second born.

Well, I will say they basically, they were on board with it.

They were on board with me switching from their birthing center at 36 weeks to a home birth midwife, because from their words, they said, you need to be comfortable where you're birthing.

It doesn't matter where your money is going to.

This is about your birth.

And that just really, really stuck out to me, because yes, they're midwives, but they're also running a business.

And a lot of times people will let money get in the way, and that didn't matter to them.

It was all about me being comfortable where I'm going to birth so that my labor wouldn't stall, and that I could have the birth that I want, that I'm striving for or was striving for.

So this assistant got in touch with Courtney, and we talked to each other on the phone, and she was willing to take me on, but she also had made the comment at the time that she was going to send me some other midwives' numbers to talk to them about, to just fill them out and see if maybe I would rather home birth with one of them as well.

But that didn't even work out.

I didn't even talk to another midwife.

Courtney said that she needed to speak with her assistants and make sure it was okay that they slid one other birth in for that month, and it was okay with their assistants.

They thought that everything would work out just fine as far as the timeline goes and mama's birthing.

And I don't know, just looking back and knowing Courtney now, it still just blows my mind that she took me on at 36 weeks.

But it was amazing.

And even though I didn't get to have all those prenatal appointments with her and like really get to know her, the first from the very first phone call, it was like I had known her forever.

And we, I don't know, joined at the hip.

She's so like-minded and just such a good, good woman.

And I know you know that about her.

Yeah.

So how did you go into labor?

So that morning, I started having sporadic contractions that went on for a few hours.

And then they kind of died down midday.

And then I guess it was by three, four o'clock, they picked back up again.

So Courtney came to the house and was at our house for a little less than an hour before Everly was born.

And again, this is only our second time meeting.

And it just, it just felt so, I don't know, just like I had known her forever and so natural and familiar.

I don't really know how to explain it.

But anyways, no long after she got to the house, she asked me if I wanted to be checked.

And I was like, you know, honestly, I thought I would say no, I don't want to be checked.

But I kind of am curious.

I think I do want to be checked.

So she checked me and I was at a seven.

And contractions were really picking up and I was having to vocalize through them.

And she suggested I had been standing up and swaying back and forth through all my contractions.

And she suggested that I get down on my knees and just lay over the couch for some contractions.

And so I did.

And Josh got down on his knees behind me and was applying counter pressure.

And I'm not sure how long I was there for, but it couldn't have been too awful long, because like I said, she was at my house for under an hour before I really was born.

And I have all my birth stories, my home birth stories on Instagram.

I don't think that I typed out Grant's birth story.

He's my first for the hospital, but I did with my last three that I've had.

So I went through several contractions while leaning over the couch, and then my water broke and just popped all over me, all over Josh.

Thankfully, we had some chucks pads underneath this and we didn't ruin our rug.

They were prepared for that.

And not long after my water broke, I started feeling that urge to push and I couldn't control it.

Like my body, I just felt that urge and my body just started bearing down for me.

Courtney knew I wanted to birth in the tub, and our birthing pool was right there, sat up next to us.

So she was like, Carrie, if you want to get in the tub to birth this baby, then you need to go ahead and do so.

So in between contractions, I somehow made it into that tub.

And not long after that, Everly was born in the tub, and Josh caught her and then placed her up on my chest.

And it was just, it was wonderful, wonderful.

I will say, though, that that was my first true experience with the natural labor all the way through.

And I have said this with every single one of them since, with her, with Silas, and then with my last, Beckham.

I can labor all day long.

Like, the laboring doesn't phase me.

I mean, it obviously phases me to a certain extent, but I'm good.

I get in a groove of how I'm coping with it, and it isn't until my babies start to come out that I honestly feel kind of out of control.

And like, I'm kind of just holding on for dear life because my body just takes over and pushes my babies out of me very quickly.

I literally birth my babies in a matter of just a couple contractions, and they, from the time that my body starts pushing.

And it's just so intense.

And so right after my babies are born, I'm like, I don't think I ever want to do that again.

Then give me 24 hours for my hormone levels to do whatever they do, level out or go up or whatever is happening within my hormones.

And just having a precious newborn on you, it totally flip-flops, and I'm already ready to do it again.

I love that.

I feel like a lot of home birthers or natural birthers have that experience too.

Absolutely.

I've heard from a lot of women that pushing is where they get their relief, and the pushing phase.

But then for me, it's quite the opposite.

I love the laboring.

I love feeling those contractions and knowing what's going on in my body, but it's the pushing part that gives me no relief, and I am just like, get this baby out of the way.

So yeah, I feel that way at first, but then always, always give me 24 hours, and I'm ready, I'm ready for another baby.

I'm ready to do it all over again.

Okay, so we know you did.

You did it all over again a couple more times.

So how old was Everly when y'all got pregnant with Silas, your third?

Oh, again, they've all just been big surprises.

Everly was the one that was like the most planned for, but then again, not really because we had stopped trying.

So then I, you know, I had this space of four, almost five years between Grant and Everly, and then Everly was born.

And then all of a sudden, now, here in 2024, I have three under three.

So again, the Lord telling me, you don't have control over this.

I have a bigger plan than what you think should happen.

Everly was a year and a half when Silas was born.

So I guess I was around, or she was around 10 months old, I believe, when I found out I was pregnant with Silas.

And I cried about it.

I was not happy.

I thought it was going to steal time away from my daughter and all these thoughts that I thought I was, these plans and daydreams of things that I thought were going to happen.

And then, you know, a few days later, start beating myself up forever.

Being sad, being sad about having another baby and birthing literally another miracle.

And like, just how could you have these thoughts and questions and just be happy, Carrie?

And so I know a lot of other moms have went through that too, but I hated that I was having those thoughts of, what have I done?

type thing.

So, yeah, I guess one thing that I haven't really talked about was how my pregnancies have gone as far as like sickness and stuff.

And every one of them have been different.

It's very crazy.

But with Grant, I was very sick the first trimester.

I actually lost weight because of it.

And then with Everly, I was sick, I think till about the middle of the second trimester.

Then with Silas, I was sick almost the whole time.

But it wasn't like some of these poor women have where they are just throwing up every single day.

Now, I did throw up every day the first trimester with Grant my first, but it wasn't like that with Everly.

If I felt like I was getting ready to throw up, I was able to talk myself out of it somehow.

It wasn't like that always.

There were a few times, a handful of times, where I could not talk myself out of that.

But it wasn't quite as bad with her.

But then with Silas, it eased up towards the end of pregnancy, but it still carried into the third trimester with my third, Silas.

And I was pretty miserable.

I was so tired.

And I know that you can relate to this.

Unfortunately.

I was just so tired of feeling nauseous, like just that feeling.

And there were times where I was just like, let me throw up.

So for a brief moment afterwards, I would feel a relief of that nausea.

So we planned a home birth with him from the get go.

And we so we had done some remodeling to our garage that was connected to our house, and we turned it into a play room.

And so when it came time for his birth, that's actually where we set up the birthing pool, and I put the twinkling lights, and everything was kept spotless in there for the few weeks leading up to his birth.

I said I had a friend, I have lots of friends who are photographers, but this one friend in particular who was supposed to be there for Everly's birth, but she happened to be out of town when Everly did decide to come.

That was kind of a toss up of whether she would be there or not, and she didn't make it, and so we were bound and determined for her to make it to Silas's, which is my third again.

We were bound and determined for her to make it to that, and she ended up not making it because Silas came so quickly.

But all intentions of birthing in this beautiful space that we had set up, and my photographer was going to be there to capture it all, and at nine o'clock the night that he was going to be born that night, I was tucking my son into his bottom bunk, and I went to climb into the bottom bunk, and as I was climbing in, my water broke.

And funny thing is, my water broke first with Grant as well before labor even started.

And so my water broke again that night before labor had even started, and Courtney actually questioned whether it was really my water.

She's asking me all these questions, and she was like, you know, not that I don't trust that you know what it feels like to have your water broken, but it's just more of a rarity for your water to break before labor starts than it is for you to be in labor and then your water break at some point.

And so this is now the second time that it's happened for me, and it was with both of my boys, and she had just had a client who was a doula.

She obviously didn't tell me who it was, but she was like, she's a doula.

So she knows her stuff, and she swore up and down that her water had broke.

But when I came over and tested it, it wasn't her water that had broke.

And she was telling me about the two bags of water and this, that, and the other.

So she was like, just try and get some sleep, and if things progress, give me a call.

If not, then I'll talk to you in the morning, and we'll go from there.

So, like I said, it broke at nine, and my contractions started, I guess, around 10, 30, 11 o'clock that night.

Contractions started.

They did not start immediately like they had with Grant.

And they started to really pick up, but it was not enough to where I thought, okay, I couldn't get any rest.

But since we knew that the baby was going to be here within the next day or two, hopefully, we were busy getting all the final things done in our house and with the birthing spot and all of that.

And I didn't get into bed until 12 o'clock at midnight.

And I laid there for two hours through those contractions and tried my best to go to sleep.

But when I laid down, they really picked up in intensity, and I just I couldn't sleep through them.

I couldn't get any rest.

So at two o'clock in the morning, I was like, forget this.

I'm just going to get up and move around, and maybe it'll help pick things up.

So I got up at two and walked in to the playroom in my birthing space and just sat there.

I turned the lights on and sat there in the darkness with the twinkle lights and realized that my contractions were really close together.

But it was odd to me because I was still walking through them.

I was kind of like humming and singing as the contractions were happening.

And so I decided to time them.

And I was like, oh, my gosh, these contractions are coming every two minutes.

I should probably call Courtney because they're really close together.

But it was throwing me off because I was talking and was fine for the most part through them.

So I called her and she said, you know, it could be your adrenaline.

Get in the bathtub.

What do they always tell you?

Take a bath and let's see what happens from there.

So I got in the bath.

She wanted me to be in the bath for about 30 minutes.

I did not make it the whole 30 minutes because contractions really picked up in intensity.

Once I got in the bath, which then made me realize, OK, this is not just my adrenaline.

This is real.

This is getting ready to happen.

And there was so much pressure in my bottom that I was having to lift myself up off of the bottom of the tub.

And I couldn't bear it anymore.

I needed to stand and move because that's I found that is how I like to labor the best is standing up.

And so when I got out of the tub, I caught her.

And while I was on the phone with her talking, she was listening to me going through these contractions.

And she heard the change in my voice and how I was talking through them fine.

And now I was having to really concentrate and vocalize through them with my deep.

I don't know.

Maybe I went through to maybe three contractions with her on the phone because, like I said, they were so close together.

And that last contraction, I told her, I said, Courtney, if I didn't know any better, this baby is coming.

Like now, I just felt I didn't really feel my baby descending, but I felt whatever that feeling was that my body feels right before it's getting ready to start pushing the baby out.

And she was like, OK, I'm going to get off the phone with you.

I'm going to call everybody and we're going to head your way.

So she hung up real quick and I knew that the baby was coming.

And so my husband was still in the bedroom.

My grant had woken up and he had Grant come get in the bed with him.

So he was laying there with Grant to try and get him to go back to sleep.

Because when I finally got up at two, I told him everything that was going on.

And I had even went in there before I called Courtney, before I realized they were two minutes apart or when I realized they were two minutes apart and told him.

And he was like, yeah, you should be calling Courtney now.

So he knew what was going on, but he was just trying to get Grant back to sleep.

And after I got off the phone with her, when I knew that Silas was coming, I was like, okay, I'm going to have to run to this bedroom in between contractions and get Josh, because I might end up having this baby in the hallway if I don't hurry.

So I had a contraction, and as soon as that contraction almost died down, before it even ended, I like jetted out of the bathroom to go and get my husband out of the bedroom.

And I was like, Josh, the baby's coming.

Like I didn't even hold back my voice.

I hollered, ran back into the bathroom, and leaned over the bathroom sink.

So keep in mind, I had this pretty birth room set up to birth in.

And here I am in my bathroom.

And for all you listeners, my bathroom is that, I don't know, 1970s style with the pink tile all over the walls.

Everything's super outdated.

So yes, here I was in this ugly bathroom birthing, which I did not want, but I didn't care.

I needed to get leaned over something and ready, because this baby was getting ready to shoot out at me.

Josh got in the bathroom.

He immediately picked up the phone and called Courtney.

She heard what was going on.

So she clicked FaceTime.

Josh answered, and she immediately, when she got on FaceTime, she was like, Josh, I need you to grab a towel, because your baby's coming out, and babies are very slippery.

So he grabbed his towel.

It was one of our kids' dinosaur towels.

My photographer, oh, I forgot to mention, so my photographer, I had called her at 2, when I had got up and told her I would send her a text if I thought things were getting serious and she needed to head our way.

So I did.

I sent her a text message.

At some point in the middle of all of that, I don't remember when, but she didn't make it.

She got there literally 10 minutes after Silas was born.

But yes, so he caught Silas and a dinosaur blanket in our 1970s style bathroom, just me and him, and Courtney was on FaceTime.

She screenshot the time on her phone when baby came out.

And like I said, our photographer arrived 10 minutes after baby was born, and she walked down the hall and looked in the bathroom.

And that was the first picture she captured was me and Josh and the baby.

And by that point, Grant, Josh went and got Grant and got him out of the bed to come in there and meet his brother.

And we were all just chilling on the bathroom floor, waiting for my placenta to come out.

So yeah, that's how that wild story went.

And let me tell you, I did not plan for it to be that way.

And, you know, that scenario might be scary for a lot of people, but I was not one bit scared.

I guess maybe because I was literally pushing a baby out.

I wasn't thinking about anything but what my body was feeling.

But even now, like, looking back, it doesn't terrify me to have what I guess people consider a free birth.

Me and Josh both have a medical background, and I feel like, you know, we would be somewhat prepared if there was some kind of emergency after birth.

And it was very intimate, honestly.

It was very intimate, it just being me and him in the bathroom and him getting to catch Silas from shooting out.

So I contemplated, I'm here telling on myself, but I contemplated not even Colin Courtney when I went into labor with this last one that I've had, because I enjoyed it just being me and Josh so much.

But no, I called Courtney and she did make it for Beckham's birth.

I mean, you call it unassisted birth or you can call it free birth.

Typically people call it a free birth when they're planning to go unassisted and they're planning just to have them and their spouse there and no care provider or anything.

But unassisted usually means more like, well, it went so fast that nobody made it in time.

But typically, I mean, like 99% of the time when that's the case, it's because the baby is super healthy and ready to come out and everything's just fine and there is no emergency at all.

That labor, I mean, it was just so wild with first off my water breaking first before labor even started, and then labor not starting until a couple hours later.

And then bam, when labor started, it was just like immediate intensity, not being able to sleep through it, but then two minutes apart, like that.

And talking through those contractions, it did.

It threw Courtney off with it being that way, which is obviously why she suggested me getting in the bathtub to kind of help her judge things.

And so the bathtub did the trick in helping things really amp up, and Silas came.

So now we've got Grant and Everly and Silas.

So let's talk about Beckham.

When did he come in to play?

So again, I ended up getting pregnant.

I guess Silas was around eight months when I found out.

So I got pregnant even sooner this last time around.

And both like, I wasn't sad about it, but we both were definitely, we were really trying to prevent it from happening.

And we just looked at each other when I took that pregnancy test, and I was just like, how did this happen?

Like, what in the world is happening here?

Because we did the natural family planning in between Grant and Everly, and did so well with it.

I mean, four, almost five years in between them, and then bam, 303.

So I always joke and tell people I lost my touch.

He always jokes and tells people that I'll get pregnant if he just sneezes.

So anyway, yes, Silas was around eight months when I found out I was pregnant with Beckham again.

And of course, we went with Courtney again.

Now, Courtney this time had moved, and so she was no longer just 20 minutes away from me.

She's now an hour away from me.

So with having that quick of a labor with Silas and her not making it in time, really, it made me so I wasn't scared to birth with just my husband, like I said.

But I was kind of anxious about the fact like, you know, here we are going through all our care with her again.

I really would like for her to make it this time.

And so I just wanted to make sure that I was going to call her in time for her to be there for Beckham's birth.

And but also not call her too soon and her have to wait around my house for hours while I labor, you know.

First, it's just the toss up.

You never know what's going to happen, how long it's going to take.

And every birth is so different from the next.

So again, likewise with him, he was a boy and my water broke first, just like it did with my other two boys, which is very wild.

Water broke first, but my contractions immediately started this time after.

It was the middle of the night.

It was I think around 315 was I woke up to my water breaking while I was sleeping bad.

And I called Courtney to let her know.

And we just kind of kept communication of how my labor was progressing before she finally decided to come out.

I'm trying to shorten this and not include every detail since I've been talking so long about all these births.

But I'm trying to think.

So my water broke at 315, and he was born around 7 o'clock that morning was when he was born.

And again, she came just in time for his birth.

She was here at our house for a little under an hour before he was born.

We again had set up the play room and hopes of birthing in there.

And I did, I did birth in there, but I did not make it into the birth pool.

I birthed again, standing up and leaning over something because that is just what felt comfortable to my body.

And you know, you have these plans and things set out of how you want it to be.

And a lot of times it just doesn't end up being that way, but it doesn't mean that it's still not going to be magical and peaceful and all the things that you wanted your birth to be just because you didn't birth in this.

So, one thing that I want to say about this in particular, because this is what I was speaking about at first when it comes to what you're dilated to.

And then also, I want to touch on this because how precious midwives are and the knowledge that they have.

When she got here, I was at that time sitting on the yoga ball, and I was leaned over the birthing pool.

I was using that as my thing to prop up on, and was leaned over it, rocking back and forth on the birthing ball, going through my contractions.

And I remember saying to her, Courtney, I don't want to get in the water too soon, and it caused my labor to stall, but I also don't want to not make it into the water again, especially when I'm literally standing right here next to it.

I want to labor a little bit in the water.

Do you think that I should go ahead and get in?

And she was like, well, it's really hard to judge that.

You know, your contractions and my contractions were close together, but they had been close together.

It was kind of like Silas's birth.

Once the contractions started, they stayed close together.

They were, they started three minutes apart.

And I laid down in between that time for Beckham's birth to see what would happen to them.

And they spaced out to like four to five minutes apart.

But then when I got back up, they were again back at three minutes apart, but just growing in intensity.

So I guess at that point, I don't really know how far apart they were when I was in front of the birthing pool.

To me, they felt like I maybe was having a minute break in between them.

And so that's why I asked her about going ahead and getting in the birthing pool.

And she said, you know, if I check you, it's going to help me a little bit.

Not necessarily what you're dilated to, but the position of your cervix, how far up baby's head is, and all of that.

So she said, if you want me to, I will.

There's no pressure to check you.

But it will kind of help me gauge on whether I think it would be a good idea for you to get in the pool or if I want to suggest you getting in a different position because of maybe how baby is positioned.

So I was like, OK, let's do it.

I said, but I don't want you to tell me what I'm dilated to.

I just want you to check me for you to have the information.

Don't tell me what my number is.

So in between contractions, I laid down, she checked me and I got up and she said, OK, I will tell you that you are not completely faced yet still.

And that baby's head is pretty high up still.

She said, so I want you to get in squatting positions for your contractions and get as low as you possibly can.

So I went and this is where I leaned, I was standing up and I leaned over something.

And she said, when you feel that next contraction come, squat as low as you possibly could.

Well, they were so intense at this point that I really did not squat very low at all.

I tried my best, but I have pictures of it and I was not far down at all.

So I went through two or three contractions like that.

And she was like, OK, Carrie, I'm going to have you lean back in Josh's arms.

And I want you to put all your weight just lean back in his arms with his arms up underneath your armpits and have this next contraction like that.

And by leaning back and giving him all your weight and resting on him like that, it's going to cause your body to squat lower than what you have been.

She said, you're not going to like it, but this is what I want you to do.

And I was like, OK, it's coming.

I leaned back, Josh got in his stance, I leaned back and got on his arms.

And let me tell you, that was the most intense contraction that I had experienced so far.

And by getting in that position, it caused Beckham to start his journey out.

And my deep moaning changed mid contraction to a roar.

And I didn't have to voice it because everybody in that room knew that baby was coming.

But I did.

I voiced it.

Baby's coming!

And after that contraction ended, I had to stand up.

There was no way that I could continue in that position.

So I got up from Josh's arms and leaned back over.

What I was leaning over was my kid's toy bin, kind of like this shelf thing.

But I was leaned over that, which was literally right in front of the birthing pool.

But Beckham was coming out, and there was no way I was going to try and lift my legs over to get into that birthing pool.

And I leaned over the bookshelf, and within, I guess it was two to three more contractions, Beckham came out.

And Josh was standing up, applying counter pressure behind me.

And Katie, who is training with Courtney, she caught Beckham.

So I say all that part to say, Courtney later on tells me what I was dilated to when she checked me.

So I was dilated to a sixth when she checked me.

Keep in mind, after she checked me, I stood up, I had two or three more contractions.

That's when I got in that stance with Josh and leaned back on him, and baby started coming.

And within two or three more contractions after that, Beckham was born.

So I went from a sixth after she dilated me to having about six more contractions and baby was born.

So had Courtney not been there, and had she not told me to get in the positions that she had me get in, then I could have been laboring a lot longer.

I know that checking your cervix plays a role in, you know, it can help dilation to kind of progress, I guess, messing with things up there can do that.

But she was reading my body language and what my body was doing while I was having those couple contractions after she checked me.

And because of her knowledge and her experience with births, she knew what position to tell me to get in to help bring him down.

And boy, didn't bring him down because, I mean, that just that just blew my mind when she told me that I was only out of six and then six more contractions later my baby was born.

Because that's just not what back when I had Grant for my first birth, you know, like I said, when they checked me and I heard that I was out of five, I got totally defeated and gave in to the epidural.

But just that's just a number just because you're out of five that doesn't tell you that.

Oh, my gosh, you have this so many more hours left of laboring until baby comes because it doesn't mean that it could mean that.

But it doesn't mean that necessarily.

And then the other thing to hit on to was with, you know, the thought of me, you know, being OK with it, just me and Josh, me and Josh being there for the birth again and possibly not calling Courtney in time for the birth of Betham.

Like, thank the Lord that I did because she was able to bring my baby to me a lot quicker, I would say, than he probably would have came because I wasn't knowledgeable to get in a position like that.

Katie did tell me later on that instinctually my body would have ended up getting low because that's what it would need to do to bring baby out.

But I still could have been in labor quite a bit longer had Courtney not been there.

So, super thankful for that woman.

That whole birth experience, again, just another wonderful birth here at home.

And, you know, I didn't make it into the birth pool, but that's okay.

And, oh, I'm just so thankful for my home birth.

And just, you know, the care that you receive during those visits is so much different than the care that you receive at an OBGYN office.

It's so much more intimate between you and the midwife that you choose.

And it, you know, honestly, enduring all the sickness through pregnancy, enduring the pain that you go through with laboring and delivering the baby, I don't know, even going through all of that, like, it just, there's something about it that becomes addicting.

And you just want to do it again and again.

And of course, newborn snuggles are addicting within themselves.

So you just want to have all the newborn babies.

But yes, when you have experiences like that, and they're just, they're so precious and transformative.

I mean, they really transform you as a mother and a woman.

And especially when you meet someone like Courtney and you really get to know her.

And I'm sure there's other midwives out there who are like that.

Again, it just makes you want to keep on having those babies.

What would you say was one of the biggest lessons that God has really taught you through all of these experiences?

I would just say through birth in particular is to trust Him.

And in trusting Him, it's knowing that He designed us as women to birth babies.

And that while, yes, because we were born in a fallen world, things are not always going to go as they were designed to go, as our bodies were designed to birth babies because of living in this fallen world.

But, you know, I believe nine times out of ten, if you give space to a mother to labor and deliver her child, and trust in the Lord that you're doing what your body was intended to do, then the outcome of your birth, the outcome of your labor, is going to be what you want it to be.

If you don't have that trust in the Lord, and you have anxiety, and you have fears, and you have doubts, then, you know, all of those things are going to have a play in your pregnancy, and definitely in your labor.

So, just trusting in your ability to be able to birth this baby, because that's what the Lord has created you to do.

It's beautiful.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I also agree with the fact that you said it was addicting.

And I have really, really, really horrible pregnancies.

And so, to know that you go through all of that, you know, for so long, and then once the birth happens and you're holding that baby, you're like, yeah, I can totally do that again.

Yeah, and honestly, I felt that even sooner with this last birth.

I was ready to do it again even sooner.

I actually think that I felt that right after I had him, and it didn't take a whole 24 hours.

So, we're kind of in trouble if it's going to continue to be like that.

More willing, more babies that we have.

Well, let's see, you went 10 months, then 8 months, maybe it'll be 6 months this time.

See, that's the one thing that I do hope.

I do hope that we can space this next one out a little bit longer.

Just so that I can have a little bit of a break on my body.

No, I agree.

I agree.

Give your body a break.

Do you have any last thoughts, any last advice you might want to give to any moms out there?

I would just say in general in regards to birth, because of how medicalized birth has become, and how it seems why birth has become, and not seems, it's become a business, to trust your instinct, just go with your gut, and know that if you're not satisfied with the care that you're receiving, take it from me.

You can switch care at the very last minute, because I've done it with two of my births, 34 and 36 weeks, until you find what you want.

And you know, some people are completely comfortable with their OBGYN and birthing in a hospital, and they have a wonderful experience, and that is totally fine.

Some people would rather birth at a birthing center versus at home.

That's totally fine, too.

But just know that you are in charge of your births, not the doctor.

This is you, your body, and your baby.

And you have the right to make the calls in your pregnancy and in your labor and delivery.

So I just speak up.

Speak up for yourselves, Mama, because this is about you and your baby, not about them.

Right.

They work for you.

You don't work for them.

Well, thank you, Carrie.

Thanks for coming on and sharing all of these wonderful stories.

It's been an absolute pleasure.

You are very welcome.

Thank you for having me.

Thanks again for joining us today.

You can reach me at Surrendered Birth Services on Instagram or email me at contact at surrenderedbirthservices.com.

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