029 - Educating Yourself is a Crucial Part of Birth Success (with Erin and Chase Hamrick)

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SHOW NOTES:

When you're a first time parent, who originally never even planned on having children, there’s a lot of research and learning to be done, but you do it-you take the classes, read the books, listen to the podcasts and you prepare yourself for a long and intense labor. So what happens when that labor is nothing like what you were taught to expect? Ever heard of an accidental free birth? Get ready for an incredible story of two first time parents who were totally prepared for one birth scenario, and yet, God blessed them with something completely different, and completely spectacular!

Home birth midwife mentioned in episode: Patricia Funk, CNM

Interested in our Spring childbirth class coming up? Contact us by filling out this form!

Want to connect with us? Have a question?
Shoot us a DM at @surrenderedbirthservices on Instagram, and give us a follow while you're there!

TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories.

Birth Stories, Birth Education, and the Pursuit of Surrendering It All to God.

Let's get started.

Hey, everybody.

Happy Monday or whatever day you are listening to this.

I am recording this late at night, actually, I'm very tired.

And I am fully convinced that a big part of why I keep getting sick, and just me personally, is my complete lack of sleep or constantly interrupted sleep, and my body is mad at me.

But I can't really do anything about it, because I have a newborn, and I mean, I keep calling him a newborn.

He is five months, but to me, he was born like a couple of weeks ago, so to me, he's a newborn.

But anyways, it's been exhausting.

I have been sick four times in 2024.

So in the last like two months, I had some like crazy cold thing in January that I just kind of pushed through and was like, I'm just going to keep going, I'll be fine.

And then had like a week of okayness.

And then the next week, I got the flu.

And then it was like okay for a couple of weeks.

And then I got what I think was strep throat could have been a different version of the flu.

I don't know.

It was like fever, extreme sore throat, you know, chills, nausea, all the things.

I'm pretty sure.

I don't test for things around here.

Like I don't go to the doctor and get a test just to say, hey, this is what you have, because I know I'm not going to do anything differently to treat it than I would if, you know, I didn't know that.

So I joke the only type of test I take is a pregnancy test.

Because that I do want to know.

But don't worry, all the pregnancy tests came back negative.

I did take a couple over the last couple of months because these sicknesses made me so nauseous that, of course, my brain goes straight to, wow, this is exactly what pregnancy feels like.

Feels like I have the flu.

Feels like I'm nauseous.

So anyways, I'm not pregnant, but I did get four different sicknesses.

And the last one was that dreaded stomach bug my sweet little two-year-old brought it home to us and gave it to one of his brothers and myself.

And it was treacherous.

It's been a time.

It has been a time and a half.

And then I felt like it was just me getting sick all this time, but now, you know, with the stomach bug, and then now this past week, my husband had the flu and now seems to have passed it to two of our other kiddos.

So it's just, it's just been never ending over here.

And I am so ready for all of this sickness to be behind us.

I don't remember a season ever having this much sickness back to back to back, but, you know, interpret that as you may, but it's been enough.

I'm, I'm ready to move on and just be in the spring and the sun, and I gave up on getting snow a long time ago, so I'm ready for the spring.

And on that note, speaking of spring, I wanted to let you guys know our spring group child birth class is coming up.

I do a in-person child birth class every couple of months basically for the following season.

So we're doing one here in April, and it is for summer due dates.

So babies do like, you know, later May, June, July and August.

So if you or someone you know has a summer due date and you have not taken this child birth class yet, please, please, please come and join us.

If you are close to the triad, we would love to have you join us in person.

I have had a number of inquiries about zooming in for the class.

So if that is something you're interested in, if you are not local to the triad and you cannot drive in but you would like to zoom in for the class, please reach out to me.

Just message me.

You can either email me.

I'll leave the email in the show notes, or you can message me on Instagram at Surrendered Birth Services.

Because if enough people are interested, we can absolutely do a zoom class.

I'm still working on an on-demand online course, but that's not going to be ready for a little while.

So if you want to zoom in to the class, we would love, love, love to have you.

And I would love to help you figure out a way to make that happen.

But if you are local and you are interested in coming to our group childbirth class in April, it's going to be a blast.

It's every Sunday evening in April, and they're held here in Greensboro at Definition Church.

And if you are interested or you know someone who's interested, please give them this information.

There's more information on our website, which is listed in the show notes, but it is so much fun.

We have several couples come together, and we learn everything from pregnancy, nutrition, and exercise, and taking care of your body.

And we go over everything you could possibly need to know for labor.

And this is no matter what kind of labor you are wanting or planning, and no matter what location you are delivering at.

So this is not a natural childbirth class exclusively.

This is not a hospital childbirth class.

This is not a home birth childbirth class.

This is a comprehensive Christian childbirth class.

So we are going to teach you everything.

What would happen physiologically, naturally, in a natural birth.

We are going to teach you about the different interventions that are offered, and what the risks and benefits of those are, and why you might would need them, or maybe why you wouldn't want them, and everything in between.

And we'll talk in depth about postpartum, and breastfeeding, and newborn life, and all about God's design the entire way, with just encouraging scripture, and everything you might possibly ever want in a childbirth class.

It is my absolute favorite thing to do, and I would love to have you join us.

Now, before we get into our episode intro, I did want to say our sweet couple who is interviewing today, were our brand new parents, and they have their sweet little baby with them during the interview, so you will hear him throughout the interview.

And I just think that adds to the sweetness of everything when you can hear the sweet little baby.

So us new moms know that our babies like us to be close by, so when we are recording podcasts, sometimes you'll be able to hear them too, and I think that is really fun.

All right, let's do this.

When you're a first-time parent who originally never even planned on having children, there's a lot of research and learning to be done, but you do it.

You take the classes, you read the books, you listen to the podcast, and you prepare yourself for a long and intense marathon of a labor.

So what happens when that labor is nothing like what you were taught to expect?

Ever heard of an accidental free birth?

Get ready for an incredible story of two first-time parents who were totally prepared for one birth scenario, and yet God blessed them with something completely different and completely spectacular.

Welcome to another episode of Surrendered Birth Stories.

I am your host, Kayla Heater, and today I have another wonderful couple with me.

Why don't you guys go ahead and introduce yourselves?

Tell us your names, who you are, a little bit about your life, so we can kind of picture who we're talking to.

My name is Chase Hamrick.

I'm here with my wife Erin Hamrick.

A little bit about me.

I'm a safety coordinator for a construction company.

A hobby of mine would be a little bit of computer at home and going out and playing disc golf and spending some time outdoors.

And I'm Erin Hamrick.

I'm a legal assistant at a law firm, and we just had our first baby boy, so he consumes all my time.

And it's great.

I love it.

Hobbies would include anything crafty.

I quilt and sew and crochet and knit, and yeah, literally anything that has to do with making something.

I've probably done it.

You know how to do all of that?

I have goals of learning how to do maybe not all of that, but a lot of that.

I can show you.

I love it.

Yeah, it's so fun.

I love it.

I've been trying to get together with my neighbor for like a couple of months now.

She's supposed to teach me how to crochet.

But it's like every time we get a date on the calendar, one of us gets sick or one of the kids gets sick.

And I was like, we should just stop trying to schedule things in the winter and we'll just wait until spring.

Wait until it's not sick season.

Right.

So I met you all through our childbirth education class, which was so much fun.

So that's just a little backstory there.

And so I feel like I've been part of your journey, which is fun.

I always love, you know, seeing it all the way through and then hearing how everything went.

But nobody else knows that.

So why don't you go ahead and tell us how it was getting pregnant?

I will say for the first time, but for the only time.

Yeah.

So we originally did not want children.

And that is not a secret for anybody.

We told everybody we're not having children.

We don't want kids.

And we kept up that mantra until we decided to have kids.

And then kept that up because we didn't want anyone pestering us about like, are you pregnant yet?

That was suggested to us by our pastors.

I was like, don't tell anyone when you start trying just because you don't want the pressure.

The outside pressure.

So that was something you agreed on when you were dating.

Yes.

Yes.

So we've known each other for almost 12 years now.

And for 10 of those 12 years, we both were in agreement that we did not want children.

For me, it was, I wanted to find a reason to have kids.

I don't know if that makes sense.

I mean, there's a lot of reasons to have kids, right?

But I feel like I wanted to have some sort of a bigger draw to having children, if that makes sense, or not just have kids to have them.

I don't know.

Just because it's like what everybody else does, and that's what you're supposed to do.

You wanted to feel personally drawn to having them.

We wanted to feel like a calling to have kids.

We wanted God to be like, you should have kids.

Not just feel pressure from family and friends to have kids.

We wanted to personally be like, okay, yes, we want kids.

And we didn't feel that way until the end of 2022.

Chase started feeling like he wanted a kid, and I was still on the fence, and I was like, I don't know, there's still a lot of work.

And so we spoke to a lot of people.

We spoke to family and friends about it, about what their reasons for having kids were.

But ultimately, the big deciding factor for us was talking to our pastors.

They met with us after hours.

It was amazing.

They sat down with us for, I think it was supposed to be like a 30-minute meeting, but we ended up staying in there for over an hour.

And they just talked us through everything, and that was ultimately the conversation where we were like, or for me, I was like, okay, I know that I want kids.

At least let's talk about it more and maybe look at trying soon.

But it was definitely, yeah, it was...

It was like God definitely put it on our hearts that December to start trying to have kids.

And so he really worked on both of us and was like, it's time.

You've been married for almost five years, so it's time.

So yeah, we just felt, we both felt like it was time for us to have kids.

And we really wanted to have a kid.

We didn't feel, I mean, we still felt pressure from some family and friends, but it was mostly just like, we felt ready.

We felt like we should go ahead and have kids, and we actually wanted them.

So it wasn't just a peer pressure or a culture thing, because a lot of people just have kids because that's what you do.

We didn't want it to be like that.

We wanted to really have it planned out.

So that was, you said, December of 2022?

So then how long until you got pregnant?

It was about three and a half months.

And we found out it was the Friday.

It was Good Friday.

It was before Easter.

And we were supposed to go to the beach with our family.

And we didn't tell anybody.

We didn't tell anybody for a long time until I guess it was what?

We waited three or four.

Yeah, we waited until I was in the second trimester to tell people.

To tell anybody.

Yeah, to tell anybody.

Except for my best friend, because she had asked, and I have the saying where I'm like, I can't lie to people.

So if you ask me point blank, I'm going to tell you the truth.

And so she asked me point blank if I was pregnant.

And I was like, yeah.

What a question.

So she was really excited.

And it was really, but she was like the only person who knew for a long time.

So yeah, then we told family later, and they were very mad that we didn't tell them at Easter.

They were like, you knew and you didn't tell us.

They were like, you've been pregnant the last three times we've seen you and you didn't say anything.

It was pretty great.

It was really fun to keep a secret.

But yeah, so we tried for like three and a half months.

We thought it would be instant, or like I thought it would be instantaneous because growing up, that's what we were told.

Oh yeah, you have sex once.

You're going to get pregnant.

And so I was like, when it wasn't instantaneous, I was kind of disappointed.

I was like, this was supposed to happen now because I'd like to have an October baby.

But that didn't happen.

That's fine because his birthday is perfect.

But yeah, it was really funny.

But I mean, I wasn't on birth control or anything.

So we didn't have to wait for that to get out of my system.

So that was really good.

That's good.

So now I'm asking a little more personal question.

But did you do natural family planning before that?

Or what was your...

I guess it would be considered natural.

You were tracking your cycle and knowing when.

Yeah, I was tracking my cycle, and we just used condoms and the pullout method.

And that worked for us.

That doesn't work for everybody.

It doesn't.

But it worked for us.

I have my third child to prove that.

It doesn't work for everybody.

Nope.

But God knew we needed Jensen.

So it was really like...

After I didn't get pregnant instantaneously, I was like, okay, God, it's really up to you.

It's in your hands, because obviously, we're doing the things we're supposed to, so...

Right.

You know, it's on you.

It really does make birth and the whole process just feel like a supernatural process, like a divine process, because you can do your part, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen right away, or in our case with our third, you can do your part to prevent, and that doesn't mean it's not going to happen.

So it really does feel like every child is just supernaturally planned for this moment in time to these parents.

Okay, so how did you go about finding your care provider for this pregnancy?

It was your first time, and you hadn't wanted kids for a long time, so what kind of research did you do, or did you do any research?

I had been doing a lot of research beforehand, actually.

I had a friend who, she had a home birth, and she used to be a labor and delivery nurse and was talking about how mistreated women were in labor and delivery and how she had gotten out of it because she didn't like what the hospitals were doing, and so she quit being a labor and delivery nurse, and she actually was an emergency C-section nurse.

She helped with the surgeries for a long time, for two years, and she was like, I'm done.

And so I had already looked into home birth, and when we got pregnant, we were thinking about getting pregnant.

I was like, I don't want to be in a hospital.

Number one, I don't like hospitals.

Bad things happen there, and sick people are there, and I grew up going to the hospital a lot because I was the problem child.

I just got injured a lot, and so we eventually stopped going to the hospital and just glued things back together.

It was just too much to get going.

Yeah, it's getting too expensive.

I'm just kind of a holistic-ish, crunchy person anyways.

I was like, home birth sounds great.

Chase was not on board.

Yeah, first conversation we had, I was like, maybe not.

I feel some comfort in knowing that there's quote-unquote trained medical professionals there, which I think there's a time and place for hospital births at this point.

But at the time, I was definitely ready to have TIDUS at the hospital.

So I said, I don't want to make a rash decision either way, so I'll just sleep on it and kind of see what happens from there and pray about it.

So it really took me a couple weeks, at the least, to start considering the possibility that there were other options besides a hospital birth.

It was a lot of other steps in there that were taken to warm up to the idea of a home birth.

We talked originally about compromising and doing a birthing center.

But since it's so far away, well, it's like an hour and a half to two hours from our house.

And so I was weighing the different options and sending some questions to friends that had babies.

I was like, what do you think about me going to a birthing center?

And one of them pointed out the drive back for two hours sitting in a car, not just with a newborn, but also like being postpartum and potential tears and how uncomfortable it could be to be in a car.

And you have to go back the next day, too, or 48 hours later, depending.

But you have to drive back there again.

And I was like, I don't want to do that.

I really want a home birth.

And the real turning point, I think, for Chase was your class.

Class, absolutely, 100%.

I didn't know that.

That's sweet.

So I said, hopefully taking the class will help me warm up to a birthing center.

But after the class, I was 100% on board with having a home birth.

That makes me feel really good.

I'm just going to put a disclaimer out there.

My class is not a home birth class.

No, it's not.

It's not a home birth class.

And they can testify to that.

But we do talk about home birth, birth center births, and hospital births.

We talk about all three, all the different scenarios, why one might be a wiser decision than another for you personally.

Risks, benefits, intervention.

We talk about it all.

Because that is my heart and my passion, is that somebody is fully educated, knows all of their options, all of the risks, all of the benefits, so that they can make the decision that is best for them.

And the decision that was best for you was home birth.

And it was wonderful.

And it's your first birth.

So I have a lot of people who will say, well, I might have a home birth for my next kid, but with my first kid, I'm going to do it in hospital just in case.

So now I'm kind of asking off the cuff here, but what made you feel confident about doing a home birth the first time rather than like a subsequent child?

Like rather than saving it for after you've already given birth once?

I just felt, I mean, yes, there's a ton of birth in hospitals, but I felt like the home birth midwives were just so well trained in physiological birth.

And like I trusted my body to do what it was supposed to.

Not that it always does that anyways, but I just trusted it during the process.

I had a lot of peace about it.

Like I prayed about it and just felt a lot of peace that my body was gonna do what it needed to do.

And it did very well.

But finding the provider herself, so can I say her name on here?

Yeah.

And then if she wants us to cut it out, we'll cut it out.

But yeah, you can.

But her name is Patricia Funk.

I had actually contacted somebody else, Courtney, earlier.

And for whatever reason, she couldn't get back to me.

And within two weeks, I tried to contact her several times.

And so I asked another friend who else she would recommend.

And so she recommended Patricia, who was just starting out.

And so, I don't know, I just felt like she was just starting out.

And I was having my first baby.

And even though she was just starting her own, I guess...

She was starting her own practice.

Her own practice.

She had the experience.

She had the experience.

And I don't know, we just clicked.

We hit it off.

I read her bio on her website.

And I was like, we have a lot of things in common.

And I felt like she was the right choice.

I felt like it led to her.

And so, I don't remember how many weeks I was when we had our first appointment.

I had my first ultrasound, like the eight week ultrasound, at a hospital.

And just to confirm pregnancy.

And then after that, I was like, I'm not coming back here.

That was the last hospital visit we had.

And I was like, we're not doing that again.

Not that it was a bad experience.

It was a good experience.

It was just an ultrasound.

But I was like, yeah, I don't have to come back here ever again.

I don't have to wait in the lobby for 45 minutes.

So yeah, it was really great.

And she came to us for all of our appointments.

That was a huge bonus too.

I was like, I don't have to go anywhere.

We can stay home and I can take the day off of work and do nothing, which was wonderful.

I could just be pregnant.

It was really great.

Patricia is wonderful.

And for those of you in, I'm trying to think, Triad, Burlington, even Raleigh-Durham, all the way to Winston, kind of that whole span is really her radius, I would say.

But Formed and Foreknown, is that the name?

Yep, Formed and Foreknown.

Formed and Foreknown, midwifery.

So if you're searching for a home birth midwife and you're in that area, look her up.

I actually can put her information in the show notes if she's cool with it.

Yeah, we'll have to ask her.

She's great, though.

She is wonderful.

I love her, too.

I got to know her because we had the same midwife, too, when she was having her baby.

So that's how I met her, was at my midwife's house.

Her assistant's really awesome, too.

She's super nice.

We like Catherine a lot.

I like Catherine, too.

Just like the whole team.

It was very personal.

It felt very cozy.

Yeah, it was very comfortable, very cozy.

We were friends, and they were just helping us deliver a baby.

But we'll get to that.

It didn't quite happen that way.

But yeah, it was all just very...

It was nice, because it was nice having a provider I could just text a question to, and get a response, and not have to book an appointment or anything to see them.

Just ask a question and have it answered.

So that was also a big draw for home birth.

Yeah, there's a level of intimacy there that is not at a birth center or a hospital.

Yeah, because we went for the eight week appointment.

It was still a midwife that we saw.

And I really like her.

I really respect her.

It's just the hospital setting.

And she was telling us I'd have to meet all seven or eight of them that were there, and we didn't know who would be at the birth or at call.

And I was like, she was really good.

She was honest with all of all the questions we had for for the hospital.

And yeah, you know, she just wasn't they weren't pushy or anything like that.

So it wasn't like Erin said, it wasn't a bad experience by any means.

But there was definitely pros and cons for right for being in the hospital.

And honestly, like for us, like our situation, it was cheaper for us to have a home birth.

Yeah, because my insurance isn't very good.

And so even though we were paying out of pocket for the birth, the birth and everything, like through my insurance, our out of pocket would have been more.

And like for especially at the hospital.

And so it's like for it's kind of a no brainer.

We're at home birth.

And not that money was like the driving factor, but it definitely was a contributing factor.

That's why we had our second and third at a birth center was financial reasons too.

But I learned in this last year about, so there are different like health shared accounts out there, like Christian ones.

There's like Christian health care ministries and then Samaritans.

And Samaritans actually fully covers home birth 100% and covers all of your like chiropractic appointments, supplements, prenatal massages, all these things.

But you have to have an account with them three months before you get pregnant, which makes sense.

Or everyone would just hop right on over whenever they got pregnant.

That's crazy.

But for those people out there who are like, you know, want home birth coverage, if that is what you're interested in, check out Samaritans.

They have amazing home birth coverage.

And I was like, oh, to have my prenatal massages covered like for free.

That's incredible.

Can we go back in time now?

But if you're planning any future children, and you can just have the wife on it, like you don't have to have kids or the husband or anything on it.

You can just have the wife on it.

Oh, that's cool.

Which would make it more affordable.

So that's a little tidbit of advice for some people out there.

Okay, so how I really ask, how did your pregnancy go?

It actually was really well.

It was a really good pregnancy.

In the beginning, I craved.

It was really funny because I had some weird cravings, and I craved hibachi.

And hibachi is expensive.

You buy it every day.

And so I decided to make hibachi at home because I'm a chef.

And so I was like, I'm just going to make this at home.

I made a huge, huge batch of hibachi and couldn't eat any of it.

Because I was like, yeah, I can't have this anymore.

It was like, as soon as I made it, I was like, yeah, no, no.

Just finished cooking it and she couldn't put it away.

The smell of hibachi was what got to her.

I was like, I can't eat it.

Then I had hibachi for a week and a half.

That way it doesn't go to waste.

And so and then after that, I was like, I couldn't eat Mexican food.

If it was from a Mexican restaurant or out, I could make Mexican food at home and eat it, but I couldn't eat it out.

And then, of course, hibachi was a no go.

The rest of the pregnancy.

And then I craved salty things.

I didn't really want any sweets.

I lost 20 pounds in the first trimester.

Were you throwing up at all?

I wasn't throwing up.

I was just nauseous.

But I was eating so many carbs.

I was like, surely I'm going to gain so much weight because I was eating spaghetti for breakfast.

Spaghetti was the one thing that I could eat consistently.

If I was nauseous and couldn't find anything else, I could eat spaghetti.

And so I ate so much spaghetti.

I was like, I'm going to gain so much weight.

But for whatever reason, I lost weight.

And it was really interesting.

I was really surprised by the whole thing.

Hey, the spaghetti diet, guys.

Let's try it.

Spaghetti for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

You might lose weight.

But we're not making any promises.

Yeah, no.

That's a lot of carbs.

Yeah, but that was probably about it.

It was just nausea, especially in the first trimester.

And then about halfway through the second trimester, the nausea went away.

But during the first trimester, there were some days where I would go to the grocery store seven times in five days because I couldn't eat the same thing twice.

Oh, yeah.

Except spaghetti.

And so I was constantly looking for something else I could eat and would just go walk around in the grocery store until I saw something that didn't make me nauseous.

And then buy that and eat it and then go back.

Kudos to you for even being able to go in the grocery store.

That's something I struggle with.

Like even walking in the doors of a grocery store will make me throw up like when I'm pregnant.

Because there are so many things there that make me nauseous.

The smells and just the sights of something.

And I'm like, whoa.

So my husband is the gopher when we are pregnant.

And whenever we get pregnant, he knows he will be making usually daily trips to the store or wherever I will eat something.

My goodness.

I'm glad that it wasn't that extreme.

So in that retrospect, it was a really easy, mild pregnancy.

I never had any pain or anything.

I know they say a lot of times you get round ligament pain.

I had had hip problems for a long time and low back issues.

And I had had round ligament pain before and didn't notice any difference in my body.

I never really had any pains or aches or anything like that.

I did go see a chiropractor in the last four to six weeks.

I don't remember how many times I went.

I just went a couple of times just to get everything in line because I had read that if you had previous back injuries, it's best to go get pre-aligned and that you can have a twisted uterus.

And so I was like, okay, I'll just go to the chiropractor for fun.

Anyways, and it was really a great experience.

I enjoyed going once a week.

That was about all that I did extra.

I didn't do any massage.

It would have been nice to do massage, but I was like, it's expensive.

It is expensive.

It's usually I have been gifted a pre-needle massage with each, okay, now four out of five of the pregnancies and it is like my favorite hour of the pregnancy.

That sounds nice.

Maybe if we have another one, maybe next time.

Yes.

It's like a really nice baby shower gift.

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

That's all I'm gonna do now.

And a joint one from like two people can go in together, you know, and like, because, you know, they can be expensive.

So say from the in-laws and you know what I mean?

Just like, this is for us.

This is for us, have an hour of relaxation.

Uh-huh.

I'm like dreaming about it right now.

So how far do you make it in your pregnancy before you went into labor?

How far along were you?

It was 40, 54 minutes past his due date.

We went into labor around 1045 p.m.

on the 14th of December, which was his due date.

I went to work that day.

It was a Thursday.

I worked all day.

Didn't feel any different.

Was pretty sure he was going to be a late baby.

No signs of anything.

I had been texting my midwife that day.

I was texting Patricia because she was asking if one of her friends could attend his birth.

And I was like, yeah, let me double check with Chase when I get home tonight.

I'm pretty sure he'll be fine with it, but that sounds fine to me.

Like, I would, you know, more the merrier, I guess.

Not really, but, you know.

Like somebody who's probably training or something.

Yeah, it was somebody who was training.

It was one of her friends who was looking into getting into home birth, doing home birth.

And so I was like, yeah, by all means.

And then...

I didn't have any issues with it.

Like Erin said, it was for training or to educate someone.

So I was on board 100%.

And we were talking about, you know, it's probably going to be another week or so.

Let's expect this time next week.

Maybe we'll be looking at getting closer to the actual time.

Because we had seen her that Tuesday, and I was like, what's the protocol for when I hit 41 weeks?

Because after 42 weeks, she can't attend a home birth because she's a CNM.

And so I was like, what does day by day look at 41 weeks?

And so we had like a plan in place, and we were ready for him to be late, and I didn't really feel anything.

Baking cookies.

Yeah, I was baking cookies because I was like...

Nine o'clock.

Yeah, it was nine o'clock at night, so I was baking cookies.

Yeah, because it was Christmas, and I was like, I'm taking all these cookies to my coworkers tomorrow.

Because it was going to be Friday, and I was like, I don't know.

Like, I expect him to come next week or the week after, which is Christmas, so I'm sure that it's, you know, this is the time to make the cookies.

And I made, like, hundreds of cookies, because I made Christmas cookie boxes for my coworkers and then Chase's coworkers.

And so I was just making cookies, and we didn't get into bed until, like, 10, 15, 10.30.

And so I was just laying in bed.

He had fallen asleep.

Yeah, it was just like a normal day.

And then at, like, 10.45-ish, I kind of felt what I thought was a contraction, and it was painful, but I thought maybe it was just, like, muscle spasms from my chiropractor appointment, because that had, since I'd been going, I'd been having, like, some muscle spasms since.

And so I was like, it's probably just, it's probably nothing.

Like, it's not time.

Like, yeah, it was his due date, but I was like, it's not, he's gonna be, like, next week.

So I was just laying there, and it happened several more times, and they were consistent, and I, like, timed them when they happened.

Like, the contraction, I was like, okay, it's lasting for 30 seconds.

It's, they're 10 minutes apart.

Muscle spasms aren't usually timed, so I should probably text my midwife.

So I texted Patricia, and I was like, is this what contractions feel like?

I've had a couple of them now, and she said yes.

You know, run a bath, because, you know, if you run a bath and get in the bath, and it's consistent, they might fade away.

You don't know.

And so I try to wake up Chase, because he's a heavy sleeper.

And so I try to wake him up.

Not actually, but he was like kind of weak.

So I was like, I'm going to run a bath.

I texted Patricia.

I've been having contractions.

This is what she said to do.

And he's like, you're taking a bath.

I'm going to take a bath.

That's all.

That's all.

All right.

Have a nice bath, honey.

But that happened like five times because I was like, yes, I'm going to take a bath.

This is what Patricia said to do.

And he was like, did you tell Patricia?

He was not awake.

So this happened like four times.

I was like, I give up.

I'm going to take a bath.

I'm leaving.

Goodbye.

So then I go to run the bath.

And the entire time, I felt like I had to poop.

The whole time?

The whole time.

From like when you woke up?

Not from when the contractions first started, but like when I stood up to go run the bath, I was like, oh, I have to poop.

And so I'm running the bath.

Baths take forever to fill up.

So I'm like running the bath and sitting on the toilet.

Like, okay, I'm like, I'm going to have to poop.

It's going to happen.

And so of course I didn't poop.

Nothing happened.

And so I was like, okay, I'll get in the bathtub.

So it's finally, finally full enough and get in the bathtub.

Are they still every 10 minutes at that point?

Yeah, they're still every 10 minutes lasting like 30 seconds.

So what time is it now?

So it's about 11 o'clock.

I call my sister like right as I get in the bathtub because she wanted to be there for the birth.

And the plan was for her to come and take pictures and to be there and to video and just be that extra support person.

And so I call her.

She lives two hours away.

I called her and say, you know, I've been having contractions.

This might be it.

And she was like, well, I have to call my husband because he had just driven up to my parents' house who live up by us, not too far from us.

And because he was going to go hunting the next morning and they have a baby and two dogs.

And so she was like, I have to call him because we have to meet him halfway with the baby so that he can go back home and I can come to you.

And so she was like, I'm going to start calling them, see if I can get anybody on the phone.

And so I was like, okay, I'll let you know how the bath works.

I'll let you know if it ends up being nothing.

Because at this point, I'm still like, is this really labor?

I mean, if they're 10 minutes apart, it's your first baby.

They're only lasting 30 seconds.

That could totally be nothing.

And for lots of people.

Or it could be 48 hours until you see anything.

Yeah.

And so I was like, you know, if I sit in the bathtub long enough, maybe it'll just go away and nobody has to worry about driving tonight.

Right.

There was definitely some mental conditioning.

You know, she was getting in the right mindset to be like, okay, I'm in this for the long haul.

You know, this is going to take another, if this is the real thing, this is going to take another 10 hours.

You know, she was getting ready.

She was gearing up.

You're gearing up for a long process.

Every contraction, I was like, this is nothing.

Like, it's going to get so much worse than this.

Because I was just, you know, everyone like mentally prepares for all the pain.

In a long time.

And so that's what I was preparing for.

Which is wise.

Yes.

That is the wise thing to do.

But I had also read books where, like, they were documented.

It was like documented where women had had babies in their sleep, like completely painless.

I was like, okay, that's cool too.

That's cool.

I was okay with that.

So, you know, whichever, you know, whatever happens, happens.

Whatever happens to me, maybe in my sleep.

Either one would be fine.

But so yeah, I was like sitting in the bath, texting Patricia.

Like every time I had a contraction, I would text her.

I'd be like, it lasted 45 seconds this time, 30 seconds.

They're still 10 minutes apart.

They kind of fluctuated between like 9 to 12 minutes apart.

And then...

So she's probably like...

First time mom texting me every time she has a contraction, she's probably like, Hey, honey, it's gonna be a while.

Yeah.

She called...

It wasn't like every time that I had a contraction.

It was just like every 20 minutes, I would text her.

Not even 20 minutes, but I'd be like, this is where I'm at now.

And I was like, I got in the bath.

They're the same.

Because she was like, text me to let me know when you're in the bath, that they slow down, et cetera.

Just keep me updated.

And so I did.

And then around 1130, Chase finally, like actually wakes up.

And he came into the bathroom, and I'm in the bathtub.

And we had a little bit of a plan together.

The birthing pool was not inflated.

So we had originally talked about doing a water birth.

Yeah, in the birth pool.

But so I walked in the bathroom, she's in the tub texting Patricia, and I said, you know, how are you feeling?

Are they still going?

And she said, yes.

I said, OK, I'm going to go ahead and start doing the things here and there to start preparing just in case.

So I went ahead and started getting all the birth pool supplies out and things like that.

It's an inflatable pool, so you have to hook up the air pump and blow it up.

And then after that, you have to put the water in it.

So it's a good lengthy process.

Yes, it is.

So we have three cats.

So I put them up so they wouldn't be in the way or interfering with anything and started getting the pool out.

And at that point, I think Erin was...

I had gotten out of the pool, or not the pool, I had gotten out of the bathtub.

I'd sat in there for a little while, but I got out because I felt like I had to poop again.

This time I did.

And I was like, oh, thank goodness.

But I still felt like I had to poop the entire time.

And so I get back in the tub, and it was just really uncomfortable sitting.

And I maybe lasted like five more minutes in the bathtub, and I was like, I gotta get out.

I gotta move.

And they were still like 10 minutes apart at this point, but I was still like...

So in between, were you like just totally chill, cool as a cucumber?

Yeah, just like chill in the bath, scrolling on my phone, keeping Patricia up too.

Maybe I'm in labor, maybe I'm not.

I don't know what I'm doing.

It's past my bedtime, so if this would stop, if it's supposed to, that'd be great.

I was like, take a nap.

And so he's still messing with all that stuff, but then when I got out of the pool the second time, or the bathtub the second time, I was like, let me go lay down in the bed and see if that's more comfortable than sitting in a really hard tub.

Yeah, bathtubs are hard.

Without back support.

Yeah, without back support or anything.

So I was like, let me try laying in the bed.

And that's the point where I had grabbed the air pump to start pumping up the pool.

So I was like, you probably don't want to be in here.

It's going to be loud.

Yeah, it's going to be loud.

You know, she's like, OK, well, I can try a different position and see if I can get more comfortable.

So she left.

But then you came out with me to the first time I went out.

He came out with me because I laid down and he started texting Patricia at that point because when I laid down, I immediately had a contraction.

And so he was with me and I was like, you need like I was tapping him, like, text Patricia.

Like, it's where the contraction is.

Because they were getting more intense.

Getting more intense.

OK, so but not necessarily closer together.

Not really closer together.

Just more intense.

But when I laid down, as soon as I was in the bed, they went to three minutes apart.

And so then like he stayed by the bed for like three contractions.

And what time is it at this point?

After 12.

Yeah, I couldn't say exactly what time.

12, 15 or so, somewhere in there.

Not even.

It was maybe closer to 12 because we were still texting Patricia and she replied after a couple of those contractions.

And she said, you just went from 10 minutes apart to three minutes apart.

I'm on my way.

And so I laid in the bed.

He went back to the pool, was still pulling out the pool.

It wasn't pumping yet.

And then I lasted in the bed for a couple more contractions.

I was like, this is way more uncomfortable.

So I'm going to move.

It felt better to be standing and up.

And so I was like, I'm going to go back to the toilet because I still felt like I had to poop.

So I was like, I'm going to go back and just sit on the toilet because this seems right.

I just need to do that.

It just feels right.

So I'm going to go do that.

Which is a great place to labor, by the way.

It was a great place.

Very efficient.

And so I don't know, I guess the bed like laying down, it was like put him in the right position.

But I went back in there and Chase is still playing with the pool.

At this point, he starts pumping it up and it is loud because it's one of those, it's an air pump.

And so then I was like, I'm going to go back to the bed and see how, you know, see if it's, I don't know, better.

I don't really know what I was thinking at this point.

So I was like, maybe the bed will be better.

It's definitely not loud in the bedroom.

So I moved back to the bed and on the way to the bed, I had to, I was like, I have to squat.

I have to poop.

Like this is happening right here on the floor.

I was like, I have to do this.

Of course I didn't poop.

It was my body pushing.

And I was like, I'm going to go back to the bathroom.

And I was like, after that contraction, I was like, yep, I'm going back to the bathroom.

Chase is still trying to fill up.

He's still trying to pump up the pool.

It's not even halfway pumped up.

Had you practiced pumping up the pool ahead of time?

No, I mean, I've done inflatable mattresses.

I thought I was prepared.

And I was still, at this time, I'm still expecting like, 24 hours of this.

And I'm like, oh, it's, she's just trying to get comfy.

She's going in and out of the bathroom.

Walking around, getting comfortable.

You have plenty of time.

I get back on the toilet.

He's still trying to pump it up.

And I'm pushing.

I'm pushing.

My body's pushing.

I didn't know that's what I was doing.

I was just, my body was just doing it.

I couldn't stop it.

And so, then something comes out.

What comes out?

Well, I wasn't his head.

I thought maybe it was his head, but I fell down there, and I was like, Chase, come over here.

This isn't a head.

And I was like, Chase.

I just said his name, because I was still having a contraction.

I said his name, and he stopped pumping, trying to pump up the pool at that point.

Get over here.

And so he comes over, calls Patricia, because she was like, I'm on my way.

Call me if anything happens.

Anything.

And so he's calling Patricia and walking over, coming over to the toilet, where I'm standing over the toilet.

And it's probably about 1230, 1235.

It's definitely after 1230.

It's probably like 1240 at that point.

Yeah.

And so then I was like, what is this coming out of my body?

So her water never broke.

Yeah, my water had not broken at this point.

And so he's...

So I was talking to Patricia and trying to explain what it looked like.

And I was like, it's kind of like a brownish in color.

And I don't know.

It's not his head.

But it was like a membrane looking...

It's translucent a little bit.

And Erin was like, oh my gosh, did I just push out my bladder?

Yeah, I was thinking, I didn't say that.

In my head, I was like, did I push out my bladder?

I was like, it would be the water sack, but the water sack isn't supposed to be brown.

And then all of this in a couple of seconds.

And I was like, maybe it's meconium in the water sack.

And then I had another contraction.

Wait, was it like, had it fallen out of you, or was it hanging out of you?

It was hanging out.

It was starting to, yeah.

It was just coming out.

And so the sack was coming out.

The amniotic sack was coming out.

She birthed the sack before it actually broke.

Yeah, it didn't come out fully.

It wasn't fully out, but a lot of it came out.

So could you not see his head yet?

He couldn't see his head yet.

So this was just the sack hanging out.

This was just the sack coming down, because my body was pushing.

And so then I have a...

Patricia, at this point, was like, okay, I'm 10 minutes away.

Call me again if something happens.

And so then I had...

It broke.

Like, with the next contraction, the water sack broke.

And so we have an automatic locking door, so I was like, Chase, go unlock the door for when she gets here, so she can just come right in.

And I had a longer break in between contractions then.

It was probably a two-minute break in between when my water broke.

And then...

So Chase went to the front door, unlocked it, and then comes back, and I immediately have another contraction, and his head comes out.

Yeah, his head's there.

His head's out, so he's calling Patricia because his head's coming out.

Yeah, and...

Yeah, so get on the phone with Patricia.

I was like, his head is here, and then as I'm saying that, Erin has another contraction.

And Patricia's on the phone saying, I'm three minutes away, I'm turning on your road.

I'm like, he's here, and he's coming out.

The rest of his body came out.

Yeah, it was like one contraction for his head and immediate contraction after that.

His body, his whole body came out.

He had to catch him.

Yeah, she had a towel on her shoulder from getting out of the tub, so I grabbed the towel off her shoulder, and as he came out, I just caught him in the towel.

Were you still standing over the toilet?

I was like in front of the toilet.

So I wasn't on the toilet, but I was in front of the toilet.

And so it was very abrupt, very fast.

And Titus immediately started crying and was all pink, and Patricia was like, well, she was still on the phone.

She was like, it sounds like he's healthy.

She was like, I'll be there in a few minutes.

Like I'm literally on your road.

Yeah, and so it was great.

Chase got to do a lot more than he wanted to because his original plan was to either not be in the room.

I didn't want to.

He didn't want to be in the room.

No, I didn't say that.

You did at one point say that.

I said, if I get uncomfortable, is it okay if I leave?

I don't want to make things worse.

I don't want to stress anyone out.

And this was a week before he was born.

And they were like, yeah, that's fine.

We'll be there.

We'll take care of it all.

No, didn't get that option.

His plan was to be up by my head.

You didn't want to see anything.

You were near the South Pole.

Was that because you thought you were going to get dizzy or faint?

Or is that because you were just like, you didn't want to, you don't know?

I didn't know.

I didn't want to.

I really didn't want to faint.

I definitely didn't want to do that.

I didn't want to get nauseous while she was trying to give birth.

And all this other stuff could happen.

I was like, if anything happens, I just want to be able to step out if I need to.

Too bad you stepped right in there.

He did a great job.

But now that you've done it, do you feel like if you guys have more kids, that you would definitely want to be in there?

Oh yeah, for sure.

See?

Face your fears.

Yeah, it worked.

It was a lot.

I don't think I had time.

It took me several days to process all the emotions and everything that had happened.

And in the moment, there was no time to panic.

There was no time to really process what all was happening.

And it was two hours.

You just had to act.

Yeah, I think the best way we explained it to somebody was he was still thinking about pumping up the pool, but caught the baby.

I was like, what do we do with the pool now?

The focus was still on the pool, so that kept him focused.

He just had to act.

There was no thinking.

And so yeah, then Patricia walks in the door and comes to the bathroom immediately.

She's like, I'm so mad that I missed it.

We were like, well, I mean, we're mad that you missed it too.

Not mad, but like, sorry you missed it.

We didn't think it would be that fast either.

Yeah, so like start to finish, it was only two hours.

And it was...

And it was your first?

It was my first.

It was really magical though.

I highly recommend it.

I highly recommend birthing this way.

In two hours.

You can do it in two hours, it's great.

And so yeah, he was eight pounds, nine ounces, and 21 inches long.

He was a good size baby.

And so it was like the reason the sack was brown was just because of meconium.

And yeah, it was really good.

And then of course, like after that, Patricia helped get me to the bed or get us to the bed.

Transition to the bed, yeah.

He was still attached to, like the placenta was still in me, and he was still attached to the cord.

And we kept him attached to her about, like my plan was to not cut the cord until the placenta had been birthed.

But I ended up handing him to Chase.

It was after like 45 minutes.

Like my body was still contracting.

Like I could feel it trying to push the placenta out.

And I was like, I birthed him standing.

I feel like I need to stand to push out the placenta.

So I handed Titus off to Chase, and he cut the cord.

Chase got to cut the cord then, which he had not planned to do any of that.

I was not ready for that either.

Well, you already cut the baby.

No, I was not.

They were like, yeah, just cut it.

I gave me the scissors to cut the cord, which I had never seen before, so that was unusual.

And they were like, yeah, here.

I was like, are you sure?

I don't know about this.

I don't know.

It was something about me getting cold feet, I guess.

But they were like, no, it's like a nail.

The mom won't feel it.

Baby won't feel it.

I was like, are you sure?

Yes.

He was given too much time to think about it.

He was like, wait.

Wait, what are we doing?

But yeah, cut the cord.

That was really special.

It was definitely special.

So then at that point, I could stand up, and I stood up and contracted immediately, pushed the placenta out.

It just needed some gravity to push it on out.

And that was pretty easy.

And I had planned to have it encapsulated.

And so I had texted, I think I had my sister text.

She wasn't there yet, but it was later on.

I had her text and ask if it was okay that he had meconium in the water, if it was still okay to encapsulate the placenta and stuff.

So it was.

She ended up picking it up that morning.

It was immediate.

So yeah, it was really wonderful.

And my sister, we called my sister and was like, he's here.

She was really mad that she missed it.

It would have been her first.

Like she has a baby, but she's never seen anyone have a baby.

And really wanted to see that.

And I was totally fine with her being there.

And then she was mad to have missed it and then called her husband.

And he was like, that's not possible.

He was like, you just told me she was in labor.

How did she have the baby already?

I think at that point, they hadn't even met halfway to pass off.

They were still on the road.

They weren't even there.

I think Sydney, my sister, got there about 2 a.m.

or so.

Yep.

Everybody missed it.

It was great.

It was just us.

Just the two of you.

It was really intimate.

I think it's you free birth and on your first time around.

That was not the plan.

But it was great.

It worked out really well.

It just shows you God designs our bodies to do this.

It's comforting to have other people there, but you don't need other people there.

Baby will still come out most of the time, generally speaking.

And usually, and Patricia probably said this, but typically when they come that fast, there's absolutely nothing wrong.

They are 99.9% of the time.

They are great.

Good to go.

He was ready to come, because I was...

I tried to not push, because I was like, Patricia's...

After my water broke, I was like, Patricia's 10 minutes away.

We can make it.

And then it was like, nope.

That next contraction with the head, I was like, yep, there's no stopping this.

It's happening.

You can't stop that fetal ejection reflex.

Your body says it's now.

Now is the time.

He said now is the time.

He said he was ready.

And he came.

So who ate all those cookies?

So it was really nice.

My mom came the next day, obviously to help out with the baby and see the baby.

But she dropped off the cookies at my work for me, which was so nice.

And then one of Chase's coworkers came and picked up their cookies on Monday.

So no cookies went to waste.

No cookies were harmed.

It was so crazy because everybody at my work had that day, they were like, it could be any time now.

And I'm like, yeah, I don't think it will be though.

I'm going to see you tomorrow.

Did not see them the next day.

Because I texted everybody that morning, I was like, maternity leave starts now.

We have the baby.

I mean, so many people were like, happy due date.

And I was like, yeah, it's going to be another week.

It did not happen that way.

Really happy.

We didn't wind up in a car somewhere.

Because I don't know, even if we had elected to go with a hospital birth, I don't know if we would have gone with 10 minute contractions.

Because you get to the hospital, and they're going to be like, you've been in labor for an hour, go home.

It would have been a car baby.

Yeah, you definitely would have had a car baby.

And that was one of the things that Patricia said.

It was like one of the first things she said after she said that she was sad she missed it, was that we wouldn't have made it to a hospital.

No, you wouldn't have made it anywhere.

Birth center, hospital?

Yeah, especially not the birth center.

It would have been, yeah, a wild ride.

Probably would have had them in your neighborhood.

Might as well turn around and go back home.

Yeah, it was really great.

Super magical.

I only got a chance to pray one time during the labor, because it was kind of, it was during the first trip to the bed, I think, or the second trip to the bed.

I think it was the second trip to the bed.

I was like, oh, I need to pray.

I had this whole plan.

I was going to have music, and I was going to be praying during labor.

And I was like, I need to pray.

And then I was like, get me through this.

Please don't let me poop on the bed.

Yeah, please don't poop on the floor.

I don't know why I feel like I have to poop so bad right now, but this is what's happening.

And that was about it.

It was one of those quick prayers.

And then after that, I was just focusing on breathing.

And it really wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

Every contraction, I was like, it's going to get so much more painful than this.

I was prepared for it to get worse and honestly have had more painful things happen to me in my life than giving birth to a baby.

Yeah.

Me too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I had one of Chase's cousins had said to me, she was like, I feel like you're going to be one of those people like I was, where I was just so cool as a cucumber during labor that when it was time to push, no one believed me.

Oh, yeah.

And yeah, that's kind of what happened, except it was happening really fast.

Right, you didn't even know it was time to push.

Yeah, I didn't know.

My body was like, it's time.

And I wonder, thinking back on it now, if I had laid down sooner, it would have been even faster, because I feel like that was the case, like getting in the tub slowed it down.

And if I had stayed in bed, it would have been so much faster.

So I'm glad that, I think it went perfect.

Couldn't have asked for a better labor and delivery.

Did it take you a while to process it as well?

Not really.

It was kind of shocked to be like, wow, it happened now?

Because I expected it to be a week later.

But it was just like, I was so happy to have him here.

And just be like, wow, we made this.

And this came out of my body.

It was really incredible.

It's a human.

It's a whole human.

And he's ours.

And it was also really exciting because we kept his name a secret the entire time.

And that was a compromise.

So I originally didn't want to find out the gender of the baby, but Chase did.

And so we compromised on keeping his name a secret instead of the gender.

And so we, you know, announced he was a boy.

And every, I mean, everybody would try and guess his name or like, give us a hint.

Like, tell, like just the initials, anything.

We were like, nope, just us.

We are going to be the only ones that know this.

Kind of like the beginning of the pregnancy.

Yep.

And so everybody asked, like, well, not everybody, but I don't think we said his name for a while.

And then Patricia finally asked what his name was.

And we were like, oh yeah, we haven't even said it.

We were so conditioned to keep it a secret.

What's his name?

We can't tell you.

It's still a secret.

So then we were like, it's Titus Apollo.

And yeah, and my sister, that was her, one of her first questions when she came in was, what's his name?

So that was really fun.

There was nicknames that popped up.

Since we didn't tell anyone, they kind of made their own, which we were fine with.

His last name was Hamrick, so Baby Hammy.

Baby Hammy.

We still call him our little ham, because he makes little piggy noises, especially when he eats, which is really cute.

But yeah.

I know if you listen really quietly, we can hear him right now.

So how has postpartum been?

You're at seven weeks now?

Postpartum, to this point, has been good.

It was really rough in the beginning.

I was prepared for postpartum.

I had read the fourth trimester, and had some people tell me, really prepare for postpartum.

And so I did postpartum prep and learning about pregnancy over making his nursery.

Everybody would ask about the nursery.

And I was like, no, we don't have the nursery done because I'm preparing for postpartum.

Or I'm learning and preparing for the best pregnancy in postpartum.

And that was, I think, kind of a shock to people.

And I'm like, it's better, prepare yourself for postpartum.

And I don't think a lot of people do enough preparing for postpartum because it is a lot.

And traditionally, it takes a toll on your body, and it's a lot of healing and stuff.

So I didn't really tear.

I had a little bit of a tear.

I think she said it was almost a two.

It was about a two, yeah.

So we didn't do any sutures or anything, but we used glue, which was way better than sutures.

Liquid bandage, highly recommend.

And so that was, I was prepared for my body to have to heal and to take time mentally.

I did not prepare myself.

I wasn't emotional during the pregnancy at all, and I'm not an emotional person, and I was not prepared to cry looking at him because he was so beautiful, and just crying because he was so beautiful.

And him and Chase together just looked so cute, and I was like, I was not prepared for that.

And then...

It's all that oxytocin.

Yes, it was great.

Oh, and then after...

Let's see, my sister stayed with us that weekend, so we had a lot of help, and she was so wonderful, and my mom helped too, and they were so supportive and wonderful and helpful.

We had a meal train, we had meal prepped, we had frozen foods.

I had made a whole bunch of food that I froze.

We were well prepared.

My sister set up the meal train for us, and so we had food coming.

So then can I ask you, can you tell us about breastfeeding then?

Yeah, I was gonna get into that next.

So he had a great latch.

He came out ready to eat.

He did great.

There was no issues with him at all.

He had a little bit, like Patricia assessed him for that, and he had a little bit of a lip tie.

But I mean, his latch was great.

They checked that and everything, made sure he was latching really good.

And so my sister left that Sunday, and that night he screamed for like six hours.

And every time he would nurse, he just wanted to nurse constantly.

I was like, this baby's just really hungry.

But I never felt heavy or a letdown or anything like that.

And it can take a couple of days for your milk to come in.

And so like that night, I just felt like something was wrong.

And I had gotten the contact information for a lactation consultant who would come to the house.

And her name is Jessica.

She was absolutely wonderful.

Yeah, she came that day when we texted, when I texted her, because I was like something, I just felt like something was wrong.

And even though it was only like the third day, and technically milk isn't supposed to be in yet, I was like.

It could be.

Yeah, it could be, but I just felt like there was something wrong.

And like my instincts were just telling me, you know, he's starving.

He's really hungry.

And so, like my nipples were bleeding and blistered at this point, because he had been constantly.

Yeah, he had been constantly trying to eat.

And so she came and she assessed, and he lost weight.

While she was there.

Like during feeding, because you know, with lactation, they come and they weigh baby before, and then to see how much they're getting.

And he lost weight during those feeds, and he had lost his 10%.

So it did take him three days to lose the 10%.

Lose the 10%.

So he was getting something.

Had you had any colostrum at all?

I had colostrum.

Like I could hand express.

And so then she put us on, and she asked if we could get donor milk or formula for him that day and night, and just go ahead and start him on that.

And we went on a strict feeding schedule of every three hours or earlier if he's hungry.

And so he could get his weight back up.

And so it was 30 minutes of breastfeeding, 15 minutes on each side, and then pumping and bottle feeding him.

And so every feed would take an hour and a half.

It was a triple feed.

And we did that for two and a half weeks.

She called it breastfeeding boot camp.

Yeah, it was breastfeeding boot camp to try and get my supply up.

She came in between, I think it was a week after.

She came that day, and then she came a couple days later to weigh and see if there was any change.

And at that feeding, there was no change.

And when I was pumping, I was getting nothing at all, just drops sometimes, but not always.

So we continued to do that.

And then she came back after the two and a half weeks for our last appointment and weighed him.

And he ended up getting two milliliters from each breast.

And so for the people who don't understand milliliters, don't know how small that is, if you can imagine an ounce, one ounce has 30 milliliters in it.

And so he was getting basically nothing, just kind of drops.

And I was still getting nothing when I pumped.

And so she gave me permission, quote unquote, permission to stop pumping.

And at that point, I had decided to stop.

A day or two before, he had started getting really fussy at the breast because he realized, I can get the bottle, and nothing's coming from here, but the bottle gives me food faster.

And so he would still latch on everything, and he was great.

And he still latched today more as like a comfort thing because he really doesn't get anything from me.

And so he's been on donor milk since day three of life.

And we talked with her about it, too.

She said, you know, the comfort latching is really important and to try to not associate that with him being crying or fussy.

So like any time he was crying or fussy, we would take him away from the, you know, the breasts and make sure that wasn't what he associated breastfeeding with.

Yeah.

And so we, like a day or two before she had come to the appointment because he started doing that, we just started giving him the bottle first, and then I would pump, and then we would do some breastfeeding after that if he was still hungry or not just even hungry, but would latch.

And so I was getting just drops, like pumping, and it was frustrating for me, and it was frustrating for him, and like every time I would still have to like clean out the pump equipment.

And so it was just, we went through a grieving process.

I cried a lot, like a lot, and I was not prepared for the extra emotions, and then to not be, like to have such a great pregnancy and birth, and then to not be able to feed my baby was devastating, heartbreaking, it was horrible.

And so I took a lot of prayer, and I was praying for engorgement or anything.

I was like, I will endure the pain of whatever, because I know breastfeeding can be painful for a lot of people.

I was like, I don't care.

I want to be able to feed my baby from me.

But he always provides, he provided with a lot of donors, a lot of great donors.

And one of my friends, when the lactation consultant came the first time, she immediately came that night with some milk for us.

And it was really wonderful.

And I can't ask for a better friend than somebody who's like, I will come tonight to your house.

And she's got two under two.

So she's got her hands full and dropped everything and came and brought us milk.

And it was really wonderful.

And that was a friend you were able to confide in as well, because she shared that with you, right?

She also has IGT.

So she was getting donor milk, and she brought some of her milk that was donated to her, to us.

So can you explain for people who don't know what IGT is, your official diagnosis?

I'm still learning about it, but it is insufficient glandular tissue.

So basically my breasts do not contain the tissue that they need to produce milk.

So there's still a lot of research being done about it.

I haven't done a ton of research into it just because...

You've been postpartum.

I've been postpartum, and it makes me mad that my body won't produce milk.

So I just kind of want to ignore it, and I'm very salty about it, and I don't know.

It's like a grieving process.

It really is.

I feel like it's like losing something you expected to have, or like losing a friend, and I don't know if I'll ever really be over it.

But after all, a lot of prayer, and obviously having him fed is what really matters.

I've come to terms with it.

That doesn't make me happy with it, but I've come to terms with it, and I understand, and I know my job to feed my baby with bottles.

And so it was hard, very hard in the beginning.

There was a lot of crying.

There was one day where I just cried all day, and I would cry with him, because he would cry because he was upset, because he was hungry and couldn't get anything from the boob.

And so I would just give up and give him a bottle, and then we'd be both crying.

It was a lot, emotionally.

So if I do tea, there are several people out there that have it, and my friend, she obviously has it too, and she's still really mad about it.

I did all the supplements and everything too.

So on top of the boot camp, I was doing four different ones.

Basically, we all had the same ingredients, but Earthly has a mama's milk booster.

I was doing that.

I was doing a tea.

I was doing something with goat's rue in it, and all these things.

You're doing all the right things.

I could possibly do.

How many pumps did we get?

We went through four?

Yeah, I tried all the pumps.

All the different breast pumps, everything just to see if maybe a stronger one would be better.

Whatever.

Did you try Spectra?

If Spectra doesn't get you milk, I don't think anything else is going to.

Yeah, and that was the lactation consultant.

She suggested a Spectra because we had a medulla and it wasn't like, you couldn't change the pressure on it.

And it was kind of like a travel one.

And so we tried different ones and the Spectra wasn't cutting it either.

So it was really disappointing and heartbreaking.

But we got through it and we're still getting through it.

But he's happy and healthy now.

He lost the 10% in the three days, but he didn't lose any more than that, which was great and immediately started gaining when we started the donor milk.

So by the two week mark, he was like right on schedule with everything.

By the two week mark, he had gained back all that he had lost and some more.

And now he's a 12 pound baby.

So he's a very good eater.

And now I know if we have any more, like that we're just going to have to get donor milk or do formula.

We were prepared for a lot of things.

That was not one of them.

I was prepared for everything else postpartum.

I was prepared for, you know, pain and, you know, the emotions, the exhaustion.

I was ready to never sleep again.

I was ready for all of that.

And not being able to feed my baby was not something I was prepared for.

And so that really hit hard.

Why are we getting over it?

Maybe never be over it, but that's OK.

It is what it is.

You just have to pray about it.

Yeah.

I mean, and that's something that you probably will have to take to the Lord over and over and over and over again, because it'll hit you different on different days.

Yeah, definitely it does.

Because as soon as I think I'm good, I'll have a day.

And I'm like, I just will get in the wrong headspace and just be super down about it.

And think of all the bad things and how terrible it is.

And my baby's fed and he's healthy, and that's what really matters.

Even though I don't get everything I want.

But you can grieve, and you should.

You should grieve.

Yeah, and Jessica was really, really great about that.

And was like, you can cry about it.

You should cry about it.

You need to have grieving days.

Let it all out.

Let it all out.

She was like, you might not ever be comfortable or happy with it, and that's totally understandable.

And she was just really great and super supportive.

She was like, if you wanted to keep, at the last point, she was like, if you want to keep pumping, you can, but I don't suggest it.

Just use that time to bond with your baby and feed him his bottle, instead of spending that time hooked up to a pump.

So we stopped pumping at that point, and retired the Spectra.

It's still on the fridge, the note that says no more pumping.

And for anyone else out there, at least in our area, but probably in other areas too, that might have IGT or might be, you know, struggling with their milk supply or need it for special circumstances, like whether you're adopting your babies in the NICU or any situation.

It's usually through Facebook that, you know, Facebook, I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook, but it is good for these groups.

There are lots of donor milk groups out there where you can exchange milk.

You can donate milk or you can accept donated milk.

In North Carolina, there's definitely a few, yeah, I know of milk-sharing mamas of the triad, but what are the ones you guys said?

There's one that's like breast milk donations for babies of the Carolinas, something like that along those lines.

And then there's a buy-sell donate breast milk group that we're also a part of.

So you can always find...

Yeah, and probably in whatever area you live in, like wherever you live, if you look, like maybe type in breast milk or donor milk or something and your city's name or your state's name, you'll be able to find it.

It's an amazingly useful tool, especially for situations like these.

And a lot of people post, like, if they're taking medication, if they're donors, they post what they're eating, what their diet is, if they've been vaccinated, like all that different stuff.

Because that can definitely impact your milk.

And some babies have sensitivities to certain things, too.

So, well, before we end, is there anything else you guys wanted to share?

Any advice, any thoughts, anything at all?

Educate yourself.

Take the time to learn and really go through birthing classes.

Take knowledge and experience from those around you and learn what your options are.

No matter where you're going, hospital, birthing center, home birth, there's a time and place for all of them.

Know what your options are.

And read all the books and listen to the podcast.

There are several really good podcasts out there, and this is one of them.

And then there's a lot of really good books to read, too.

Even if you're pregnant now, you can still educate yourself on everything.

I think everybody, if you're thinking about getting pregnant, or you are pregnant, you need to educate yourself on all of the options.

And even for when your child's growing up, you should learn little milestones to look for.

And just dive into education.

I know everybody doesn't like to learn.

But it really is so important.

This part of life, you should really educate yourself.

If it's happening to you, my thought was like, if it's happening to my body, I want to know everything.

And I want to educate myself on everything possible.

And so that's what I did.

I dove into all the podcasts, and read all the books.

Well, I could tell when you were in our class, I was like, she is very well researched.

Which is like proud teacher over here, honestly.

I'm like, yes, she's doing what I'm asking her to do.

Because that's what I say to everyone in the class.

I'm like, there is no possible way that I could teach you every single thing that you need to know, or that you should know, like going into this.

I'm going to teach you everything I can, but you are going to have to take your own time to listen to podcasts, and read books, and watch documentaries, and all the things.

Well, and especially in our digital age, it is so easy to be driving and listening to learn.

You don't have to sit down.

If you don't want to read a book, don't read a book.

There are audio books.

But yeah, education is so important.

Even if you have four kids already, if you did not take a childbirth class, you will probably learn something.

You will learn something.

I have had moms in my class who were on their third or fourth, at least their third babies, multiple moms who were on their third babies, so who wanted to learn because they never did the first couple times.

Yeah.

And I mean, doctors are great.

Going to the hospital is great.

There is always a time and place for that.

We highly recommend home birth.

You're a little biased towards home birth.

I'm a little biased, but it's just, we weren't pressured into doing an induction or anything like that.

Literally every person that I have talked to that has had an induction has said they would never do it again.

If they have a choice, they would never do it again.

And most of those situations were, you did have a choice, but they didn't know they had a choice.

And that's the big issue is they, doctors are seen as such a high authority.

It's like you do what they say, no matter what, which is absolutely true.

If you're going through chemo, you should probably do what your doctor says.

But with childbirth, it is still your body and it's your baby.

You do not have to do everything that they say that you should do.

Right.

Well, thank you all.

Thank you all for coming.

I really, really appreciate it.

And it's good.

No, we know the newborn life so well around here.

We totally get it.

All the time.

Thanks again for joining us today.

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If you're local to the Triad of North Carolina and seeking childbirth classes, birth consultations, or a birth doula, please click on the link in the show notes to take you to our website for more information.

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We hope you have a great week, and remember, learn all that you can, make the best plans, and then leave it in God's hands.